Hi! I’m currently a junior in high school taking AP English and Composition. My teacher is kinda lenient when it comes to grading, so I was wondering if I could get other peoples opinions on my essay. I would really like to get a 4 on the exam, so please give me some tips on what I could improve. I practiced writing the synthesis from last years exam about honor codes. Here are the documents: https://secure-media.collegeboard.org/digitalServices/pdf/ap/ap15_frq_english_language.pdf
Here’s my essay:
In today’s society, school is no longer about learning new material; it is about getting the passing grade which leads students to do some questionable actions such as cheating, plagiarizing and stealing. Therefore, it is necessary for an honor code to be implemented in order to cultivate integrity because not only does it provide an atmosphere where students do not have to fear from their peers cheating off of them, it also statistically lowers the percentage of untruthfulness amongst schools.
Establishing a strict honor code that clearly states the consequences is almost vital in making it efficient. According to McCabe, “students at colleges cheat less than their counterparts do” (Source C). This is because punishments can go from suspension to expulsion, causing students to question themselves if violating the honor code is really worth it. Not only that, putting your reputational status on the line is a big factor. According to Donald McCabe and Gary Pavela, “Many students would simply be embarrassed to have other students find out they were cheating.” This eventually cultivates a strong integrity within a student which can influence other students to change their doubtful behavior (Source F). With this vicious cycle, the percentage of cheating if significantly lowered.
However, it can be argued that implementing an honor code is essentially useless. This can be seen through Aaron Bacall’s cartoon, satirically stating that “a spy cam can greatly improve the honor code” (Source A). Furthermore, with today’s technology, following the honor code is becoming more and more difficult for students to follow. According to Chris Kahn, the internet is full of information, making it an easy route to plagiarism (Source D). Many honor codes state “obligations” that an authority cannot control or provide evidence for, such as reporting/confronting a peer for cheating. Like many other students like Alyssa Vangelli, not only do they believe it is not the student’s responsibility, they also believe that it will cause a tense relationship between peers (Source B). These factors can be argued that an honor code is flawed in many ways.
Yet, staying competitive in order to get into college significantly contributes to a student destroying not only the honor code, but their own integrity. Returning back to Donald McCabe and Gary Pavel article, they state that “it appears that many high school students view high school as simply an annoying obstacle on the way to college….” (Source F). This question about whether the education system needs to be revised in order to reduce the percentage of cheating.
Overall, though it can argued that honor codes are ineffective, it seems that the pros weigh out the cons. Implementing an honor code statistically lowers the percentage of dishonestly within schools. With its harsh punishments and a student’s reputational status on the line, questioning themselves causes a switch in the back of their brain to turn on where they rather gain integrity than to violate an honor code.
What score do you think my essay will receive? How can it be improved?
Thank you so much! 