Second semester sophomore, really lost.

College Life
1

Hey all.

This is kind of a long post, but I need to get some stuff out there and I don’t really know who else to turn to.

So my original plan was to get a nursing degree, join the Army and become an Army nurse. However, I kind of washed out in the nursing prerequisites sophomore year. I just hated everything and wanted Anatomy to be over, and a small part of me wanted to not do nursing at all. I hated volunteering in the hospital and was never interested in my high school biology and anatomy classes. I kind of knew that if I got the grade I needed, I’d still apply to the nursing school, probably get in, get sucked into nursing and hate it.

But.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I need to do something practical and useful or I will hate myself. Even lucrative fields like computer science don’t feel “practical” to me. I’ve always wanted the kind of job that’s needed even if there’s some apocalypse, the kind of job that even elementary schoolers can think of off the top of their head. Electrician, plumber, blacksmith, whatever.

My interests… I really like physical stuff (part of the reason I love ROTC so much), and science. I particularly like chemistry, but it’s too late in the game for me to get a BS in chemistry, since I’ve only taken the intro courses. I could get a BA, but a BA in a science field is kind of useless. I also really love environmental science—it was my favorite class in high school, and I’m taking the beginning classes for this major now.

But I don’t know something super “practical” I can do with it. Going into environmental consulting may make me money, but it doesn’t feel worthwhile, and the idea of doing something like that for 20+ years and then hating my life and not feeling “fulfilled” scares me.

I feel like at this rate I’d get the BS in EnviroSci just for fun, then go to a trade school and become a blacksmith or something after. Or continue with ROTC and become an officer in the Army. Or drop ROTC and enlist, as I kind of prefer the enlisted MOSs over officer ones and another girl in our battalion did that this year.

But if I do anything like that, my parents will hate me.

Some background: my parents are foreign, and I haven’t met a lot of people with American parents who have this problem, but my parents are the doctor-or-bust type. Ever since I was little, I was the kid who was going to be the doctor. My parents wouldn’t ask, “What do you want to be?” they’d ask, “What kind of doctor do you want to be?” She asked me freshman year when I was going to take the MCAT.

It’s kind of my fault, though, since I was interested in medicine as a kid—but it was more environmental health/public health medicine and epidemiology. Infectious diseases and the like. I’m still interested in that, but not enough to make a career out of it.

They also hate the idea of ROTC. They told me multiple times before college not to do it, and I am seriously concerned that if they find out I’m doing ROTC, they’ll stop helping me go to school. I’ve hid the fact that I’ve done ROTC for the past year or so, banking on trying to get an Army scholarship before they find out.

Their focus is less on “practical” jobs. They just want something lucrative and prestigious.

I don’t know, I just kind of hate everything right now. I’m kind of stuck between really wanting to make my parents proud/not feel their wrath, doing something practical, and doing something I enjoy. The last two can overlap a bit. The first one can’t.

I know, I know, don’t let your parents dictate your life. And I guess it doesn’t matter too much whether or not I make them proud, because eventually I’m going to come out to them as gay and then whatever pride they had will disappear. (I’ve seen how they act about gay people and about my involvement with the GSA in high school, I have no reason to be optimistic about this.)

Also I think I might have depression again. But I don’t know what to do about this because I’m scared if I try to get help, it’ll eventually get in my DODMERBs and it’ll disqualify me from anything in the Army. I have a bit of a history with depression and self-harm and I’m afraid that would come out in counseling. (This history isn’t really well documented though because said parents are really obsessed with image, and we didn’t get help for it the last time this happened because it would look bad to have a kid dealing with this stuff).

I just don’t know what to do anymore. I want to drop out of college or something, but I’m terrified of becoming someone’s cautionary tale.

2

To be clear… even nursing isn’t “good” enough for them. When I told my parents I was thinking of switching from nursing to chemistry, my dad literally cheered and took us out to dinner. I think he thought chemistry=pre-med…

3

Well it’s obvious that your parents have no idea about how one can be “less prestigious” and still be successful in USA. You need to guard yourself with knowledge and give them some lectures so that they can’t strike back at you.
However, the biggest problem is that you don’t know what to do. It seems like your interests are very scattered, and you will be in a serious jeopardy if you get your stuff together.
You can’t do everything you want in your life. Many times you need to give up something to have one thing, and you have to make that decision quickly otherwise you will lose both.

For your future, I think you need to consider:

  1. what am I good at?
  2. what I like?
  3. how important is “prestige” and “lucrativeness” in my life?
    I used to be unsure of what I would be, but have been constantly advised that once you do something you like and are good at, that becomes your career.

For your coming out, I think you need to be careful on when you come out. Are you completely dependent on your parents for paying the cost? Do you think they will completely cut off their supports once you come out? If that seems likely, I wouldn’t do it unless you are financially independent.

4

Hey, thank you for the comment. It means a lot. :slight_smile:

My interests are mostly in atmospheric sciences, geography, geology, etc. (I also write a ton and really love it, but I don’t intend on making that a career.) I’m just trying to connect those interests to something I see as “useful”, I suppose. I really appreciate your pointers–I will definitely consider those as I try to figure out what jobs/career paths are best for me.

And yeah, I’m not going to come out to them unless I’m financially independent, but it just adds to the stress. :frowning:

Have a great day!

5

What about something in the energy sector? Geochemist, geophysicist, etc. It can get you a very high-paying job with an oil company if you wish, or you can go the alternative fuel route. It’s a job that’s always needed (as a society we always need energy)

As far as your parents, you don’t have to do exactly what they say (it seems) but don’t outright disobey unless you want to end-up enlisting in the Army (which, with your depression tendencies would be bad for you AND your future unit when you’re thrown into stressful situation).

Good luck!

6

I would actually really love to do something in energy! I was thinking of that, but that would almost certainly require an engineering degree. My school doesn’t have an engineering department, and I’m a bit nervous about the idea of transferring, and at this point, possibly taking 5-6 years to come out with a degree. >.<;;

7

What school doesn’t have an engineering department???

8

I go to UNC Chapel Hill; our only engineering program is Biomedical Engineering.

The reason for this is that NC State, in Raleigh, has a huge engineering department with tons of majors (if I transferred, that’s where I would go) and the idea between the two schools was that NC State would do engineering and UNC would do all the pre medical paths. Nursing, public health, clinical lab science, etc, that’s all here. I originally came to UNC for nursing, so it seemed like the perfect fit, aha.

That way, they have one school that’s really good for engineering, one that’s really good for health sciences, and then… Duke.

Biomedical is only here because it’s a program that’s split between the two schools…

9

Get a bachelors of science in Physics then go to grad school for engineering. Energy companies will want that Masters degree, anyway.

10

I have seen cases where people have joined the army to establish independence from controlling parents. It is effective! Can you then stay in the army to get GI Bill money to use for college? Then you may be able to see what interests you in college.

Also try talking to professors in Env. Science or the career center to see what types of jobs there are.

11

Yes, the GI Bill is available to anyone with at least 36 months active duty. However, if she enlists with depression and they find out about it, she’ll be discharged and (if they think she was dishonest) will lose the benefits.

12

@NHuffer: That is an awesome suggestion, but I’d still be taking ~6 years to finish my BS because I’m a bit behind when it comes to physics courses. I’d rather just get a degree in four years…

Of the sciences (I don’t really want to major outside of STEM, I don’t enjoy those fields as much), I have time to do a BA in mathematics, a BS in environmental sciences, or a BS in biology. I’m just leaning on enviro because it suits my interests more, and from a lot of unemployment research I’ve done, they’re not as screwed as bio majors… plus I don’t like biology all that much, heh. My focus in enviro so far is atmospheric/oceanic.

@bopper: Do you mean drop out of college, enlist, and later come back and use the GI money for college? I think that’s feasible, but since I’m already two years in, I think it might make more sense to just finish a degree than restart everything in four years.

And… yeah, as much as I want a career in the military, I’m not sure at this point if that makes a lot of sense considering my mental health history. : (

13

Getting a degree in four years sounds great and all until you realize the few majors you’re restricted to won’t get you want you want outside of college. If a different program is better for you but takes an extra year or two I’d suggest going that route. However, you might as well talk to some folks about Environmental Science first, as there might be something there job-wise.

14

I have talked to people about environmental science, which was why it seemed like a better shot than a BA in another science. Typically there’s jobs in consulting, GIS mapping (which I’m definitely taking classes in), some in government, and then of course you get your play-in-the-national-parks-counting-birds jobs which sound really fun but are unbelievably competitive.

Could also try green agriculture, though. I haven’t looked too much into that.

I do like math and physics, but I don’t think I’ve taken enough of those classes to gauge how well I’d do in a math or physics major, let alone engineering. As cool as those majors sound, I’m worried about going that route and failing or washing out.

15

Well, it sounds like you’ve already been doing research and putting thought into it- that’s good. It sounds like the enviro science jobs are diverse enough to hopefully find something after graduation. Beware of the gov’t jobs, though- persistent budget cuts don’t bode well for job security.