Seeking feedback on Common App transfer essay

Hi, can someone look over my transfer essay for the Common App? I am applying to transfer from a community college to a private university. The prompt is “Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.”

The essay has a limit of 650 words and I need to cut just over 200. Any changes or feedback would be greatly appreciated.

I have trimmed it to be within the word count but would still appreciate a second look.

i can take a look at it

I would read and comment on your essay with great pleasure. Just PM me!