<p>My parents were not at all involved, but they were loving and good parents. Just typical of the era. We were expected to do our homework and go to college, but I don’t remember them ever reading anything of ours. They certainly didn’t check our college apps-- they left it all up to us. And all six of us kids got into fine colleges and did just fine-- but no stars in the bunch.</p>
<p>I am certainly over-involved in the college hunt for D2, because she wanted my help and wanted schools 3,000 miles away, and smaller ones that are not well known here. I’m embarrassed that I’m as anxious for her first acceptance as she is. But our D1 was completely different, applied early to just one school, got in early, and that was that. Refused to indulge our request to go on a college-looking tour. </p>
<p>As for the homework issue, we help when asked, and both my husband and I were careful proofreaders of the app essays/supplements. I am a professional publisher/writer/editor and know that you NEVER proof your own work-- I hire proofreaders before I publish a book. It’s just what you do. But we never even got the password for the parent-hovering system at their high school, and I am appalled at the number of parents (at a private school) who go online daily to check what their 16-year-olds have for homework and review everything with them. How will these kids survive in college if they can’t even track their own homework? We’ve always figured that knowing about their assignments and responsibilities was their job, not ours. We’re just here for help if they ask. </p>
<p>I often helped D1 edit papers in high school, but she hasn’t asked once in college, and has done very well. The editing process helped her become a better writer, so she doesn’t need me any more. That’s a lovely feeling!</p>