<p>The GFG, I have to say, I think this is more than a little obnoxious to suggest that your D “works so hard and gets overlooked” when she’s team captain of several sports, has had conference and state-level and was recruited to a top program. Hasn’t she already gotten those things?</p>
<p>You sound very entitled. “Apparently she’s not sportsmanlike since she didn’t win the sportsmanship awards.” Maybe she’s perfectly sportsmanlike but some other kid was more sportsmanlike, and maybe it’s better to recognize that kid and make her feel special than handing yet more awards to the team captain.</p>
<p>None of you seem to think it’s a little obnoxious that in your average senior class of (say) 500 students, we’re talking about the same 20 students who have all the leadership positions and grades and that the other 480 have to sit and listen yet again to the same top 20 getting yet another award for their awards?</p>
<p>That’s what I meant by advising that we should celebrate every accomplishment. D won two awards at the drill team banquet…no one ever wins two awards. We made a big deal about that. She didn’t receive anything at the school ceremony, but it didn’t matter.</p>
<p>She also made drill team officer which is huge. It will be a much bigger deal hearing her name announced as an officer at every football game, than if she walked across the stage in the auditorium to get some othe award.</p>
<p>In reality, isn’t it a much bigger deal to get a nice part in the school musical than to get the academic award for the highest grade in Theatre Arts II?</p>
<p>Bravo. Absolutely. It’s shades of the elementary school parent who is obnoxious on the sidelines at the soccer game when the coach doesn’t recognize his child’s brilliance and puts in the “slower” kid. </p>
<p>This is high school. It’s one big popularity contest that has nothing to do with the real world. I fully expect my kids never to cross paths or have anything to do with 99% of their fellow students in the future, except maybe on Facebook. They are irrelevant. Why the need to be “recognized” in front of all of them? Isn’t doing well – whether that’s in athletics, academics, extracurriculars, job, or getting into a good college – enough reward?</p>
<p>If MY kid reacted to some other kid getting some honor with anything other than “Hey, great, good for him / her!” … if MY kid reacted with this snobby “Well, I guess it’s just to make the little people feel good – but we all KNOW that kid is unaccomplished – why, I’ve got a spreadsheet here of what I’m more deserving” – I would consider myself having failed as a parent. </p>
<p>This is the obnoxious pseudo-elite of the high school all falling all over themselves to congratulate one another and whisper about the failings of those who deigned try to get in the club. Spare me. Why don’t you teach your child the graciousness of being happy if she gets an award and happy for other people if they get awards, as m-s so nicely put it above?</p>
<p>Relax, theGFG. You’re getting play-by-play texts? Man, you and your spouse (who I assume is the texter) must take this WAY seriously.</p>
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<p>@@ If your D is recruited at the level, and I assume she’s attending one of those schools, then what possible skin is it off your back that some other girl gets some award? Isn’t it irrelevant? Your daughter “won the big trophy” already. Who cares? Are you ever going to see this other girl again? What does it matter? </p>
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<p>This is a pet peeve of mine, but it’s not “our” state champion gymnast. It’s that girl’s own accomplishment, not yours.</p>
<p>GFG, that’s terrible. It sounds like your D really deserved to be recognized. </p>
<p>But, for those of you who want objective criteria for rewards, that may not be possibly. There are qualitative differences in academic performance, not just quantitative. I understand that the highest GPA in English may not translate to the department award for the top student. For example, my D had a higher GPA as the award winner (I only know because they are close friends). But, the award winner is third in the class and gave value to her classes during discussion. The teachers said that she made them enjoy teaching again. She deserved the award and objective criteria as the only determining factor isn’t appropriate. Of course, I may be saying this because D as val had the honor of being recognized.</p>
<p>I understand the points you all are making in the posts above, and agree with the spirit behind them. But the problem is that there’s not a set of criteria that is evenly applied by the school. Suppose the school decides that getting team captain is a leadership award, and that therefore all other leadership awards should go to non-team captains. I’ve got no problem with that whatsoever. But that’s not what they do, and in fact other team captains did indeed get leadership awards. I think there’s an invisible line of accomplishment beyond which they refuse to acknowledge a student and therefore either stretch the criteria of the award to make them fit the non-intimidating, non-jealousy-inspiring children, or just have no criteria at all.</p>
<p>Wow. You sure are ugly about the superiority of where your D is going to school. You’re right, the school should just designate your D the queen of the world.
I mean, it’s not enough for her to be going to Stanford (congrats btw!) – it’s important for everyone to bow down to it and acknowledge its superiority to other schools. Heaven forbid you just be happy for someone else’s award and let it roll off your shoulders like the unimportant thing it is. </p>
<p>Have you ever wondered why you’re so invested in HIGH SCHOOL recognition? Good grief. If my kid were going off to Stanford, I’d be delighted (obviously) and I wouldn’t care one bit what other kids in high school thought or how much they knew it. I’d be fine if they flew under the radar screen entirely, for that matter.</p>
<p>“our” is referring to the school’s–not mine or my family’s. It’s the first time our school has ever had a state champion gymnast and it was a big deal.</p>
<p>Oh, the travesty, theGFG. It’s a silly high school award. They can give them out for best lemon-pie-making abilities for all I care. You seriously can’t suggest that your D, heading off to one of the very top schools in the country, should give two minutes’ worth that a bunch of people she’ll never see again gave some kid she’ll never see again an award.</p>
<p>The awards given at our hs, to mostly jrs and srs have ALOT of political backstory—</p>
<p>For example, a student* who did not make the top 10% this yr–got not only 1 award, but 2…
other students expected to get awards didn’t.</p>
<p>This student’s* parent has been working ALOT behind the scenes in some weighty places…It is just not pretty.</p>
<p>Disappointing, yes. That said, it is not suprising…For example, the hs has given awards to staff’s kids…not that staff kids should be not eligible, it is just that often another student’s accomplishments are more worthy…yet it is the STAFF/FACULTY that votes/awards them all…
And the students’ are like…"yeah well that is so-n-so teacher/coach’s kid…so the nepotism is really blatant</p>
<p>“How can you give a SCHOLAR athlete award to a kid with a GPA below NHS guidelines and who hasn’t taken advanced classes?”</p>
<p>For the same reason that my D got one more for academics and SAT scores than for accomplishments in athletics. I’m not saying it’s fair, it’s just how a certain committee or person decided to make the decision.</p>
<p>And it’s not fair your D didn’t get honored for her awesome accomplishments.</p>
<p>No, pizzagirl, I was suggesting that the school might be making a false designation about the superiority of the school. I’m just hurt and was trying to come to grips with why they decided D should get no awards at all.</p>
Pizzagirl, that and the next post was just mean. It hurts when our kids aren’t recognized, even when we can rationally explain it away. </p>
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I hope this tone doesn’t come back to bite you by way of disappointment with regard to your kids down the road. There’s nothing in the GFG’s posts to justify this. We’d all like things to be fair for our kids and their disappointment is painful for us. Wanna hear something? My son, age 11, didn’t get recognized for something that he probably should have. The mom whose kid did get recognized (there were some legitimate, fair reasons having nothing to do with the actual qualifications) was indescribably mean to me and my kid about it. It hurt our feelings because we thought they were our friends. If a student isn’t recognized and questions “why don’t my teachers like me” the parents have an absolute right to be bothered by it and to want to come to a community of friends and have a little back patting.</p>
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Did someone lock my friend Pizzagirl, who is one of the coolest posters ever, in the closet and steal her password?</p>
<p>Eh, sorry, zmom, you’re right. Re-reading this, I was a little rough on GFG. Sorry about that. </p>
<p>I hereby give theGFG the “Putting Up With Pizzagirl’s Early Morning Rants” trophy. They are given out completely arbitrarily, at my discretion, just so you know. May you keep it in a place of honor! :-)</p>
<p>I’ll blame the horrible storms that swept through our area (just horrible in terms of noise - no real damage) that woke me up at 3 am and haven’t slept since! Sorry, theGFG. I really did go off-the-wall there for a few posts.</p>
<p>Thanks for your post, zoosermom. Despite my remark some pages back, I do understand that when a student has worked very hard, has excelled, and also loves the subject in question, then by-passing that student for an award can cause hurt feelings–in some cases, legitimately so, if the by-passing appears to be deliberate. </p>
<p>As much as anyone else, I find it very easy to “put myself in my own shoes”–and not so easy to put myself in someone else’s. But as in many cases on CC, I think that genuinely sensitive reading of the posts by all would serve the community well. (Ok, mini-sermon, I admit, but still . . . )</p>
<p>(Cross-posted with the four or so posts above, making this post less important. Sorry.)</p>