<p>Well, it’s been a month and a long one at that. Thought I would follow up on “the end of the story”. After many ups and downs, tears and advice from many, and good advice at that, we advised our son to contact all of his schools with a letter and phone call and inform them of his situation. We did tell him it was HIS decision, but we wanted him to understand the repercussions of not informing. First, it is like waiting for a ball to drop on your head. We know; they don’t. It is tantamount to lying. Second, the college guidance counselor could get a call from any school on any given day, and he simply cannot have a discussion about our child without mentioning that he is not there any longer. I am sure there will be fall out, but I trust he will end up where he is supposed to be. So, he wrote a nice letter, explaining, accepting responsibility, emphasizing his regret and confirming that he will be a better student at X school for it. I liked the letter. He emailed it and then followed with his “top choices” with a phone call. He only got through to one admin officer who asked permission to speak to his counselor and said he would call him back tomorrow. He was accepted EA to another one of his top schools, along with a great scholarship. We hope he does not lose the scholarships. As for finishing high school, he is enrolled in two online courses, and in addition, applied to our local university, and enrolled in two college courses (the max they would allow him to take as a high schooler), calculus and economics, and starts next week. He will graduate from his boarding school and he will be a alum, and that meant more to him than anything. Yesterday he rec’d a nice handwritten note from the headmaster, who ended by saying “I look forward to seeing you at reunions” and praised him for his character. So that just brought on ANOTHER round of tears by mama here!! This has been so hard emotionally, with all the ups and downs, sadness and bits of anger, regret at what he might have given up, the constant disbelief, and so on, but I have to say I strongly believe in God’s plan for our lives and there IS a reason for all of this. I am not quite sure what it is at this point, but when He tells me, I will surely let all of you know :). We do love having him home and he has bounced back and is doing well. I’ll keep you all posted on any significant happenings. Thank you again for all the support.</p>
<p>Thank you for coming back to update. It sounds like your son is on a firm path to success with a great mom supporting him. Best to you and yours.</p>
<p>hiking - I agree it sounds like the worse is now behind you and your S and you have moved on. Best of luck to your son.</p>
<p>Thanks for the update hiking. </p>
<p>Your son has great role models in you and your husband. I wish you all the best.</p>
<p>hiking, I’ve only now read your thread. It sounds like you and your ds have a good plan for going forward.</p>
<p>I only wanted to comment on a previous question on the APs - if you think your son may take the APs at the local high school, I would contact them now so they can order the appropriate exams.</p>
<p>We homeschooled and my d self studied all her APs - we spent a small fortune on study guides but she did extremely well on all her exams. I took her to a bookstore and had her look at all the study guides and decide for herself which one(s) would be the most helpful.</p>
<p>SO glad to hear this, Hiking! Please do keep us up to date-- it’s just wonderful to see things going well for your family.</p>
<p>Thanks for the update. I am so impressed by how the boarding school handled this and the compassion they showed your son. I have known many schools who just boot the kids out and do NOT let them graduate and have alum status. This school will get good recs from me when I am asked.</p>
<p>Hiking: Now you have made me cry, so I think we’re even! You all handled this so well. So great to hear that things appear to be working out.</p>
<p>I think it was very enlightened for the boarding school to allow him to graduate. The mess of trying to find another school at this late date would be awful. But their action gives him the proof that honesty is worth something (rather than the lesson that you should try to cover up all of your wrongdoing, because there is no good that can come from a confession of wrongdoing).</p>
<p>^agreed. I’m glad that through this difficult situation, you managed to find a workable solution. I would think that schools will respect his honesty and look favorably on his desire to make amends. It’s not like he did something violent to another student or anything. He just made a regular teenage mistake, as I’m sure many other kids at his school have done without getting caught. Good luck with everything. It sounds like he’s going to land on his feet just fine.</p>
<p>Thanks for taking the time to post an update, Hiking. You have made the best out of a bad situation. I am really impressed with how you and your son have handled things. I know it’s been hard on all of you. I have no doubt that things will work out for your son in the long run. He has great character and a wonderful support system.</p>
<p>I thought it would be nice to give “the end of the story”. Funny how things work out. First, the good news. He got in UNC, William and Mary, and SMU (Honors,/Scholarships) and one other “safety”, but was rejected from 5 schools, including Vandy and NYU, and two clear “safeties”. What we learned from this was that the incident certainly played a big part in the school’s decisions. He has not decided yet, but is headed for two visits within the week, and I think this chapter in our life will draw to a close within the week. I am sure that other parents here will understand when I say I am pretty sad of late over missing out on graduation ceremonies, etc. But, we move forward each day and know that good things will come! We are grateful that the schools who said “YES” after reading his letter allowed him a second chance.</p>
<p>Congratulations on your son’s good options, he only needs one school to attend. There will be another graduation, and you will be very proud when you sit in the audience. Life is not perfect, there will always be bumps. Maybe you want to take your son out for a nice dinner on his high school graduation day to celebrate what a fine young man he has become.</p>
<p>I am glad he has some good options. I know the senior year wasn’t what you expected, but the pain will lessen. Congratulations!</p>
<p>Senior year is not what any of us expect, I’m sure! As for Graduation, perhaps at your son’s private it would have been a lovely, meaningful event- but my son’s public school graduation was a real let down- kind of “is that it?” Beach balls flying around, P.A. system screeching and feedback, 100 degree’s out, parents dressed in flip flops (?) - don’t let yourself be too sad- the fact that his college options were not completely taken away from him is the celebration! I am so happy for you and yours, your stress meter must have been red lined since December!</p>
<p>I didn’t attend my own high school graduation way back when. Neither did my brothers. My kids were homeschooled so “graduation” for us was a wonderful picnic with friends (some were other graduating homeschoolers), homemade diplomas and each one got a beautiful book that had special meaning for them. It was lovely!</p>
<p>We will proudly attend their college graduations next year, but I admit I am not a very big one on ceremonies. I will go because they want us there. I’m sure it will be very nice.</p>
<p>Long way around to saying, do something wonderful yourselves for your son’s graduation! It can be as special a day as you want it to be. You don’t need any institutional stamp of approval to celebrate your beloved kid.</p>
<p>Congratulations to your S on his fine choices. I imagine looking back the past few months were not as bad as you and he imagined they would be. He is probably a better, stronger person. Best of luck to him over the next few years. (and thanks for updating)</p>
<p>Thanks to all for your support, advice and thoughts! I am going to print this 11 page blog and have it bound (a bit like a book) for him to read one day. I doubt he would read it now, but one day in the future, I am sure he will appreciate the heartfelt comments. It is a bit like a diary, and I am very glad that I wrote on that first day.</p>
<p>FYI, the thread was not hijacked by investor! That is the log on that my H and S use and I logged on inadvertently!</p>
<p>I am glad that your son will have some great choices. It’s good to look forward to the next step.</p>