<p>I baked a fair amount of chocolate chip cookies (real vanilla, real butter) as a comfort food. Also insisted on a certain amount of sleep (if out at an all night game party on Friday, no repeating on Saturday). I told S’s that what was being asked of them was unrealistic (it was. The work load was insane) – and found myself calling in to excuse absences that were not illness – just a need to rest. </p>
<p>At one point I had one son sit down and rank his activities (ie, he could not put a #1 beside everything. He had to order them in importance). This was helpful because it let him drop the idea of adding activity #12 (whew). </p>
<p>I think it is easy to loose the horizon amongst all the overhanging tasks. It can seem like one has been slogging for a decade and college will just be another four years of more slog. I tried to make clear how different college is – just three or four courses a term, not seven – only 3 or so hours of class time a day – not 8 and so on. Many of our high school students find college much, much more fun and sane than high school. MAking sure that message is out there helps.</p>
<p>Having them prioritize and consider dropping something is a good idea. My senior D hit the tear-filled meltdown early (or at least that’s the first-- I suppose there could be more coming). We had thought keeping her job would be too much on top of all the senior things, but she loved the job and was determined. But three weeks into school, with AP Psych work coming at her like a firehose, plus five other classes, plus the other high-school involvements… well, she saw the light and quit her job. </p>
<p>Her sister is a college junior and is very busy, but says her little sister has it way, way harder. First semester senior year is brutal!</p>
<p>Good thing most of them have good friends by this stage, to help keep them sane and to have some fun… or to complain to via videochat when they’re all home studying instead of out having fun.</p>
<p>We found the occasional mental health day was essential. S2 usually slept though most of it.</p>
<p>S1 (who was not doing IB) took a slightly easier first semester senior year – it helped that his program had a lot of one-semester courses so he could stagger the load. (Not that the courses were easy – au contraire – it was that they were pretty much all things he loved.) He took a mind-boggling load second semester to compensate. As it turns out, he was very busy that fall with research competitions, etc. on top of college essays, so that flexibility in scheduling worked out very well for him. </p>
<p>For parents of current juniors reading this thread – a study hall first semester senior year can be a real stress buster.</p>
<p>Totally normal. Senior year was a stressful year for D and she (and I) were on an emotional roller coaster for an entire year. As soon as she got settled at college in August, we were good.</p>
<p>There have already been several good suggestions here. I tried to help D by breaking things down for her – she was always worried about everything all at the same time. I would tell her to take one thing at a time, one day at a time. Helped her be productive and cross things off her list. The Fall was particularly stressful (with her varsity sport), but it all paid off in December when college acceptances started coming in. </p>
<p>It is important for everyone in the family to remember what a difficult time it is – the whole year – for the HS senior. Even after they decide what college they are attending, they are a wreck about leaving their friends. So cut them some slack, think about ways for some give and take (when can D/S have less family time and more friends time, for example), and what can actually be put on the back-burner.</p>
<p>It’s good to vent here. We can all assure you that you are not alone!</p>
<p>In reply to Jane, that’s exactly what DS2 has done - reduced for the fall his involvement in activities. College apps are a time consuming process - visits, interviews, information sessions, meet-ups - enough time to be an EC. DS2 dropped his fall sport - he was not competitive, only playing for health/fun - and it really has helped this fall be managable for him…</p>
<p>For some people the sheer amount of work/responsibility/deadlines freaks them out, and for others it’s the emotional stress.</p>
<p>I never quite understood what it was, but I spent most of senior year calming down all my friends who were visibly stressed and sort of forgot about myself in the process. For most of February and March I had trouble sleeping, started getting paranoid about everything, broke out crying when my parents said little things that really shouldn’t have gotten to me. Come April 1st, it basically ended.
I wish I had been a little more selfish and taken better care of my emotional and mental health last year. No one realized what it was until it was really too late, and I could’ve had a much less sob-filled senior winter if my parents and I had realized that what I was going through was normal and that it could be helped by comforting things, lots of hugs and positive messages and cookies.</p>
<p>Add mine to the grump list. Two in season ECs, a third in full practice mode ( but no competitions yet), and a very full course load are sending that kid right over the edge. Thank goodness I put my foot down about taking a few months off at work. However, when the 2 EC seasons end, work will come back into the mix and she’ll be as busy and as stressed out as ever.</p>
<p>Thanks to everybody who says it’s normal, but normal isn’t. Aking the kid much easier to deal with!</p>
<p>Senior year was soooooo much more stressful than we had anticipated. My usually thoughtful, engaging, mature D spent the year bouncing between being angry, snarky comment girl, and despondent & teary. I think the worst of it for us was in the spring. When decision time came at the end of the college app process D became completely apathetic for a time.
But take heart! it will get better! D is now a college freshman and is more enthusiastic and involved than ever. Senior year is a toughy, but there is a payoff!</p>
<p>The good news it that it gets much better. DD is at her #1 choice school now, taking what sounds like way too many credits: 21. She tells me that compared to senior year, especially 1st semester, her work load is quite manageable–even “easy.” Come to think of it, I can see why. Senior year she had a heavy load plus maybe 12 or so college app essays, pre-screen recordings to prepare, college visits and a few auditions, scholarship applications, performances, community service etc… I really don’t know how she did it all. She had to learn to be more organized with her time, and she had to learn what to prioritize. Now, college is “easy!”</p>
<p>She’s happy as can be. I hope the same happens for all our kids!</p>
<p>Having been through this once with older S, when D’s time came around we insisted on an easier senior year schedule than he had had. Yes, she took AP’s, but unlike S she did not take all the most labor-intensive ones. For one thing, S had realized that certain courses simply weren’t worth the effort. Our school’s AP Calc BC course, for example, didn’t adequately prepare him for even his college-level work in economics, so D didn’t bother taking it. AP Bio at our school was another blood-sucker that S felt was way too much meaningless busy work. D took AP Environmental Science instead; she wasn’t planning to major in science so she took the risk. Make the decisions that are sensible given what you know about your school’s classes and your child’s prospective major.</p>
<p>Also, D made sure she had completed her community service hours for NHS over the summer so that she’d only have a few in-school hours to worry about fulfilling. Lastly, any local scholarships that after S’s experience we had seen were based on political factors not in our favor (which was practically all of them, lol), D did not bother applying for.</p>
<p>D was a recruited athlete, so she had 5 weekend visits which involved plane rides and little sleep. These wiped her out and got her sick. It was extremely stressful. Thank goodness we took the steps we did. </p>
<p>Your child’s health is important. Remember that when they are not sleeping enough, not only might they become physically ill, they also become emotionally fragile. If your child is sensitive normally, then you definitely need to take measures to lighten the load and reduce the stress.</p>
<p>I know this advice probably ranks in the “duh” category (particularly for regular readers on this Board), but one thing that DID take more than a little pressure off this extraordinarily stressful 1st semester was getting one, just one, early admissions/rolling admissions “yes”! Even though in both cases (I have 2 who went through this), the “first” college that said “yes” to each of them wasn’t the “one”, knowing for sure they had a place to land seemed to really help deflate a little of the pressure.</p>
<p>We could say with absolute certainty that no matter what, “you WILL be in college next year”! D was under an immense pressure cooker in particular–with auditions/rehearsals on top of a tremendously challenging AP schedule. It was CRAZY. But, again, when she had meltdowns (averaged every couple weeks of varying degrees), reminding her she was already accepted somewhere really did visibly relax her and help her cope.</p>
<p>Several of their friends (ones who hadn’t done early apps) told them both they envied them that one bit of peace of mind. This mantra (get an early admission nod) has been part of the counseling I have given to rising seniors (I volunteered in a career-counseling center at a high school for several years). </p>
<p>i second the advice to get at least one early or rolling admission early in the school year. it just feels really good and relieves the pressure. Another thing we did was to go ahead and send all applications in by November 1st, just because that’s when S’s favorite (at the time) school’s EA date was. We figured, if everything has to be done for one school, let’s just do it for all of them. it was nice not to have applications to work on Nov & 7 Dec, although we still had to keep track of sending in 1st semester grades and FA info.</p>
<p>So how do you get them to get enough sleep? I keep saying that, too but I don’t see how it can happen when the school day runs 6 am to 6 pm at a minimum, and then there’s homework. Would love to hear how anybody’s senior is getting in even 8 hours a night. I agree, freshman year might seem “light” by comparison</p>
<p>Thank you everyone - I am finding this to be very theraputic! Just getting my head out of my D’s emotional weeds and reminding myself that this too will pass is helpful. </p>
<p>In the “old days”, senior year was fun and the application process was really not that stressful. You always knew that Big State U would take you which is not necessarily true these days.</p>
<p>I think that in many situations it’s almost impossible to get in 8 hours of sleep a night senior year. I am definitely getting 8-9 hours a night now in college, but last year the most I could possibly hope for was 7 hours a night and that would be going to bed before 10 when I didn’t even get home til 8 for much of the year.</p>
<p>If there’s a way the student can take short naps once a day, even a few days a week, I’d strongly encourage it. Does he/she take public transportation with buddies who can wake him/her up at the right stop? Is there a couch in the library he/she can crash on during lunch or some free time before practice/rehearsal? Oftentimes there are possibilities if you look for them.</p>
<p>Also, I know that you’re not supposed to sleep in on the weekends, that it’s not ideal for you, but in this case I think it’s the lesser of two evils. I would get 6-7 hours a night during the week and be exhausted and then get 10-11 hours for at least 2 nights a week and that helped.</p>
<p>And I tried to get all my major work (studying, papers, etc) done during the weekends when I was actually awake enough to do it. And I took a mental health day when I needed it, which ended up being about once every 4-5 weeks.</p>
<p>All this being said, I don’t think lack of sleep is the real problem much of the time. I think that for those who aren’t as organized it’s stressful to have to change your habits to reflect the organization you now need, and for those who are organized it’s stressful to realize that despite your organization you still have an incredible amount to do. Add in all the “lasts” and emotional pressure to have a great last year of high school and you just…burn out. You need parents (because all your friends are going through the same thing) to hug you and make sure that you take a night off and watch a movie with them or walk your dogs once in a while. It’s hard to remember that there’s life beyond the college process/senior year, and you need people to remind you of that.</p>
<p>S is a Senior and he is far less stressed than last year by his schoolwork. He has learned to manage his time and his classes though rigorous are not as time consuming. Now those essays are another story…</p>
<p>Last year, sleep - or lack of -was a BIG issue! I did as others mentioned and allowed him to sleep in or come home early on many days. He did not want to get behind and knew which classes he could miss and when. It made a world of difference. You have to be flexible!</p>
<p>We had a lovely young woman in the neighborhood fall asleep at the wheel and hit a tree. No drugs, no alcohol – just tons of activities. </p>
<p>That was enough to get me into “non negotiable mode” on sleep. Yeah, I can be an in your face screamer – don’t like to be, but if I have to, I will. I had to win the arguments on sleep. I just had to. Sometimes I would call in and excuse a kid who needed to sleep in periods 1/2. (Something my parents would have never done). </p>
<p>This is one area where what everyone else is doing is totally irrelevant. I truly did not care if no other mother made their kid get enough zzzs. (Of course, then kid goes off to college and keeps dreadful hours, but at least he’s not driving).</p>