<p>Is this typical of seniors so early in the year? I know senioritis hits once all college apps are done and they are accepted, but S is shutting down already. We did ED, but he still has all his other college apps to do, plus keep his grades up. I find it hard to get him motivated to do all the things that need to get done. One of his safety schools is due in the next week or so, and I feel like just opening up the application and filling in the stuff (basically his essay is done, so it is just filling out the name, address, etc). It is so frustrating - I don't remember being this way when I was applying to colleges. Then on the other hand, I see some real dedicated seniors here on CC that seem to have their act together and are getting their things done. I don't know if it is too much stress now, or what for him, but I was wondering if anyone else is facing this? </p>
<p>I fill out stuff like name, address, etc. I don’t see anything wrong with that. It <em>is</em> a lot for our seniors. They <em>are</em> under a lot of stress.</p>
<p>We are saving most of the stuff for Thanksgiving and Christmas break, to be honest, now that the rolling and EA schools are done. Too stressful otherwise.</p>
<p>Our kid #1 (high stats IB diploma kid) had a major “shut down” fall senior year. It was pulling teeth to get apps done even for her first choice school which she is happily attending. Not only did she have her own school stress but the kids around them are either freaking out or seemingly breezing through talking endlessly about more testing and 20 apps and whatnot like some of those CC kids. Both of those can be intimidating. Kid #2 now tells me how stressful it all is. Logically it would be less stressful if they started early and just plugged away but that stress shut down gets in the way of that. I see nothing wrong with you (or me) filling out some of the housekeeping stuff about parents and basic demographic information to get the ball rolling.</p>
<p>I hear from several sources that seniors all have meltdowns this time of year. It’s really a shame that there is so much heaped on these kids, mostly for no good reason.</p>
<p>I’m not sure seniors “all have meltdowns” this time of year (Fall). My guess is that the percentage is relatively small. </p>
<p>Spring semester, however, is a different matter – when the applications are all done, updated transcripts sent in, and a lot of organized senior social activities take place. </p>
<p>Of course, there’s a lot of anxiety waiting on college application decisions. But acing their final semester’s grades? Often a challenge, unless they’re aiming for valedictorian or the like. Avoiding low or failing grades? Also a challenge for many students, one that on occasion leads to a denial of enrollment by a college that has accepted a student.</p>
<p>DD was very stressed out last year. We scheduled “appointments” for times when we’d work on app stuff. She’d bring her laptop and we’d sit on the couch with no distractions. Even if I wasn’t contributing, it seemed by presence helped her move past the stress and get stuff done. I did help her organize and abbreviate the EC section of the Common App.</p>
<p>Almost all seniors who are applying to colleges at a top level (whether its Ivies, LAC, state flagship, etc) have a high degree of stress this time of year. I just went through this last year with my D. However, senioritis should be saved for second semester - after all applications are in and first semester grades are done.</p>
<p>The application process might also be a good time to let your kid figure out how to multi task and get things done on their own. Mine was taking AP classes, playing varsity volleyball, a regional officer of a national organization, on the debate team, etc. but still had to find the time to do apps and essays. Lots of long nights and tears. Told her it was just a preview of the all nighters she would pull in college and that her professors really would not care how much other work she had to do. So, unless you intend to be “that parent” that still controls their kids once they go away to college, you need to start cutting the cord now. I know from watching others that waiting until they are away to make them responsible for themselves is a recipe for disaster.</p>
<p>I think at this point they have so much on their plates (and are so tired, or perhaps only weary) that everything seems burdensome. They’ll snap back at some point!</p>
<p>My DS is introverted and has impossibly high expectations and standards for himself. He did totally shut down Senior Year (2012-2013). The reaction and degree of severity is highly variable. I diagnosed it as a combination of fear of success (what have I gotten myself into?), not wanting to know the results, and internally increasing the bar to unrealistic heights (“if I don’t get at LEAST a 2500 on the SAT and 900s on the subject tests, and colonize Jupiter, after having colonized Mars and discovered how to feed the planet, I am not worthy” type of impossible stuff). I totally set up and organized the filing cabinets (on the hard drive) and pre-filled the name, address, social security number stuff. In addition, he was on a state-championship varsity team playing about 30- 35 hours a week (sounds impossible!) during the fall season, and juggling travel to the community college to take the “beyond” math classes some students on these boards take. Being a secretary for these kids is totally ok. And confronting these fears is the senior version of monsters under the bed- irrational, but they must be confronted. It takes a lot of mollifying and reassuring, which will not be accepted because they don’t want to be treated like little kids. Good luck. I wouldn’t trade places with you- I’m still recovering. :)</p>
<p>ItsJustSchool - I love your post about the 2500 and 900 on Subject tests. Our kids set inexplicably high standards for themselves. I spent most of last year encouraging my D just to breathe. I too am glad its over. I guess we shouldn’t warn the senior parents about the trials and tribulations of freshman year. Why scare them more. :-S </p>
<p>Yeah, mine talks about how great life will be once the apps are all in. He has days of being very on the ball and working and days when he can’t be scraped off the couch. He just gets stuck there. He does everything ahead of his apps.</p>
<p>We did and are doing appointment based app work. Both kids seem to need someone just sitting there next to them while they work. I remember sitting on the couch across from D and she would email essays back and forth for proofing.</p>
<p>It a crazy amount of stress for some kids. All you can do is be patient and help him stay organized. We used colored charts. Broke the applications into tasks. Stuck happy faces on completed tasks. Very pre-school. but it worked. </p>
<p>You may have found my weekend project!</p>
<p>Thanks everyone. We had a bad night of more stress today. I totally relate to everything posted. ItsJustSchool’s post. really hit home. The reassurance I tried to give him made it worse because he thought he was being treated like a kid. So, no advice of mine will be tolerated or accepted because then he isn’t “independent”. I can’t wait till Jan 1. Hopefully the stress will be over then. </p>
<p>When I went through this with D we finally had a “come to Jesus” moment. I essentially said, “Look . . . I know your whole job as a teen is to differentiate and push your independence and believe me I want that as much as you. The way that happens is if you get these essays and apps done and get into your school of choice with enough scholarship money to make it possible. My fervent hope is that come March you have a whole host of great options and you can go do your thing and be independent to your heart’s content. The way you get from her to there is by listening to me and taking advice and jumping through the right hoops at the right time. After that knock yourself out - I’m all for it. If not you can live at home and go to the local CC. The road to independence and self determination runs straight through these applications so take your pick.”</p>
<p>My S’12 needed some help and pushing, I probably did too much of that. I have taken a different tack with D’15 who is both somewhat more organized and has a much more ambitious college list.</p>
<p>Starting about a month ago, we began going out to eat on Sunday afternoons. Sometimes it is a cozy coffee shop, last week it was a BBQ joint with wifi…she chooses. She brings her laptop, I bring a book. She works on her essays and asks me for advice and input as she goes. We eat. We hang out for an hour or two. She likes doing it out of the house. I like an excuse to spend some of Sunday afternoon with her. She has a rough schedule wherein she writes rough drafts/bullet points one Sunday then the following Sunday she writes final essays/long answers. In this manner her apps have been moving from to-do to done, a couple at a time. </p>
<p>It is a LOT more pleasant than the nagging I’d been doing previously.</p>
<p>I do not inquire as to her progress on essays during the week.</p>
<p>I like that! I might try the coffee shop approach this weekend!</p>
<p>wow, great idea. I may try that as well for the rest of the apps. </p>
<p>It seems like getting him focused on the most straight-forward application - the UC - is working. With just two essays and no recommendations or transcripts to worry about it seems like the goal became more tangible. Both are nearly in the can. Once UC’s are in, any private schools he wants to shoot for are bonus. I’m skeptical we can afford the private schools anyhow. Half dreading an acceptance to CMU or Yale or other $65k school.</p>