Senior Shock

Parents Forum
21

<p>Oh absolutely, mine went through it too. All the senior-year activities, plus admission and scholarship applications, the last round of testing, a full load of coursework, driving, plus the knowledge that each big event at high school would be The Last… he was in a constant state of stress. Not all “bad” stress, mind, he had a <em>lot</em> of fun and some of the year’s events were practically fairy tale material for him – but yes, everything took on new import for him.</p>

<p>He intended to go to college out of state (which he did). The thought of being 100% responsible for his own schedule, laundry, meals, transportation, …, was daunting to him. When he thought about it all at once, he froze like a deer in the headlights. Didn’t want to talk about it at all.</p>

<p>And this was a kid who had all his visits and his application strategy wrapped up in the summer… who was really, really excited about his first-choice college and found out in December that he would be going there. :o</p>

<p>It’s such an exciting time, but it’s scary too. What worked with mine was emphasizing the wealth of safety nets in his life – at his college, at home, everywhere. Once he knew that he had support and that his life wouldn’t be over if he made a misstep, he started to breathe a little easier. But he needed frequent reassurance and reminders to that effect, and it was still rough. :(</p>

<p>Now, of course, he looks back on it with fond nostalgia. Senior year? It was awesome. :D</p>

<p>Edit to add: As to “fouling the nest,” mine didn’t really do that, just bubbled over with the stress occasionally. He took some serious down time over the summer, though. We had some minor conflict over that, but honestly I think he needed the break.</p>

22

<p>No real senior stress here either. D2 had junior year stress due to recruitment for DI sports. Was accepted in September of senior year. No real senioritis. BUT…now the stress has kicked in as she has decided she wants to transfer after this freshman year! ARRGGHH! She, however, is in charge of everything in order to make this happen. Will see how it turns out!</p>

<p>One thing we did learn…she was a one and done with college apps due to her recruitment. If she had applied more places she wouldn’t be filling out as much stuff now as the schools do keep those apps on file and even scholarship awards can be revisited.</p>

23

<p>Am I the only kid who feel like his senior year is just wasting my time. I really just wanna quit and be done with it already. I am so sick of my (crappy public school) teachers and their busy work. I have kept a good gpa (3.85 cum) and have applied to places I could see myself at next year. My planned major is Mechanical engineering and there is only one class out o fthe 4 i take at my high school (duel enrollment at local university) that I seriously want to learn and that is calculus. I just feel like my other classes are taking away from calculus which is a class i just want absorb and totally understand. </p>

<p>Sorry about my rant i just wanted to know if anyone else just feel like theyre wasting an entire year.</p>

24

<br>

<br>

<p>Plus, getting an ED/EA rejection (or maybe even a deferral) can move a kid from the confident former to the panicky latter in less than one minute.</p>

25

<p>

</p>

<p>Okay - don’t burst my bubble. I am counting on the fact that the stress will abate once the apps are done. If that’s not in the cards, I don’t want to know about it…yet. :)</p>

<p>I’m envious of the few parents who are reporting stress-free senior years. I’m thinking my stress is pay back for the last 6 years of stress-free school work in our home. Have not had to remind or nag son to do a thing since 5th grade. He has handled it completely on his own with great success. Now it’s like the bottom has dropped out - he has more important things to do than to fill out applications (like hang out with his friends every spare minute of the day). His separation process is interfering with the application process. :frowning: I know this, too, such pass…just hope it’s soon.</p>

26

<p>

Dog, my mother has a saying for such situations: When you swallow a horse, don’t choke on the tail. You are learning something right now that’s more valuable than you know – how to finish what you start, even if you don’t particularly feel like it. You will need that skill in college and life!</p>

27

<p>

No - I think there are plenty of seniors who feel that way. Hang in there - you’re almost done!</p>

28

<p>

</p>

<p>My son expresses this sentiment almost daily. It’s a pretty normal feeling. In a way, these feelings are an indication that you in the process of emotionally preparing to leave home.</p>

29

<p>I think it’s fine for a student to apply to a few schools he/she hasn’t visited, as long as they have checked out the school web-site thoroughly, looked at some photos of the campus, and know a little something about the area it’s in. </p>

<p>My dd ended up applying to 3 schools that she hadn’t visited, two were super-safeties which she said she didn’t want to visit unless those were her only 2 choices!! The third was a super-reach on the opposite coast from us. When we had visited schools in that area, this school wasn’t even on her list. She decided later to apply, and was accepted. Her only visit was during the accepted student event. She got to see the campus and meet other prospective students at the same time. She loved it, and that’s where she’s a very happy freshman.</p>

<p>I’m a big believer in leaving lots of options open.</p>

30

<p>You could be describing me to a TEE! This year is so totally different than the past 12 years of my daughter’s school career. I’ve always felt so lucky that she’s so self-directed and has never had to experience a nagging mom. Well, fast forward to NOW…I think I’ve turned into the harping mother of the century at our house. Even my husband is weary of my constant reminders and suggestions. He’s TOO laid back about it, in my opinion. And, he teaches math at my D’s h.s. Surely he must feel the energy and stress at school among rhe seniors. If he does, you wouldn’t know it. Dear daughter is a lot like her dear ol’ dad, personality-wise.</p>

<p>I think what would make me feel better is if my D would just communicate with me! If she assured me that she’s on track and just SHARED more with me, I wouldn’t feel so inclined to obsessively bug her! Well, I suppose I should be happy that this has been the only year we’ve had to go through this. I know parents who have had to be on top of their kids almost from day one. STILL! I’ll just be glad when it’s all over. Trouble is, will my daughter and I even be SPEAKING by then??? I honestly think by the time Fall arrives next year, we’ll be both be MORE than ready for her to leave. :frowning: I sure don’t want my nest to feel empty AND sad. :(</p>

<p>MomLive wrote:</p>

<p>I’m envious of the few parents who are reporting stress-free senior years. I’m thinking my stress is pay back for the last 6 years of stress-free school work in our home. Have not had to remind or nag son to do a thing since 5th grade. He has handled it completely on his own with great success. Now it’s like the bottom has dropped out - he has more important things to do than to fill out applications (like hang out with his friends every spare minute of the day). His separation process is interfering with the application process. I know this, too, such pass…just hope it’s soon.</p>

31

<p>One of my twins seemed to have a mini-breakdown over the weekend. I was reading part of an article in the Sunday paper about the “forbidden” word in the author’s home, “application”…and the stress of senior year with her daughter. My daughter said she didn’t understand the nagging or more “PC” term, “reminding” and didn’t think it should be so stressful. She had me think of a conversation recently that didn’t segue in some way back to apps, homework, recs, etc. I know there were a few, but I got her point and I try, sometimes biting my tongue to just keep it on current affairs, things at school, etc. and let her bring up college info.
She also told me she had it with testing last month, to cancel her last SAT, she was just too tired and 3 was enough. (I agreed)
I found a big printout of deadlines and colleges she liked to be helpful. I put it by the computer and she can see it. She did mention on her own that this weekend was 2 more, so I think it helped.
The stress of writing and re-writing the essay, getting good feedback but then not so good, made her crazy. She decided she’s just sending in what she likes, grammar corrected and let it be. She’s used to being independent and it’s hard to have so much involvement by others.
Some people motivate under stress, some don’t, but you have to know yourself and as a parent, know your child.</p>

32

<p>My son is doing okay today but had a mid life crisis last year around Christmas break. The whole I don’t know what I want to do, I’m not sure if I want to go to college, why did I ever think I wanted to be an engineer… type thing. Luckily one of the guys I work with is an engineer and I was able to bring my son into my work during break. It also helped that my coworker is an engineer for ammunition- so within 5 minutes and hearing about how this can shred something in x seconds, or this blows this up and my son was back in the game.</p>

<p>Our game plan is to have all his applications in by Nov 15th. So far it has helped us stay off each others backs by setting up a schedule on when he needs to have things done. About once a week we go over what he still needs to do and if he needs help with anything.</p>

<p>Now his grades are another matter that we won’t go into or else I’ll just end up with more grey hair than I currently have… :slight_smile: </p>

<p>I keep telling myself that he’s already been accepted into one school, therefore he will go SOMEWHERE and most kids end up at places where they are meant to go… I think that both he and his father are on the laid back, take it easy train and I’m on the gotta get it done yesterday train. To keep everyone sane, we meet at the train station for coffee and then go our separate ways.</p>