Seriously, What's Wrong With Me???

<p>I am starting to agree with DS1 that I have a mental problem - I am fixated on this college selection process. DS1 really couldn't care less because he's already decided on his dream school.....I just wondered when this obsession on the part of the parents ends? I check out CC nearly every day, I go to the ACT and SAT websites nearly every day, I run college matches on CollegeData.com often. There's absolutely no reason to do any of these things since DS1 is sure of where he's going - his #1 choice is a slight reach, but #2-5 are all safeties and have everything he wants - he's going to be accepted to at least 4 of the schools he's applying to and he doesn't feel a need to look into any of the schools that have been recruiting him. So if DS1 doesn't care, why do I???</p>

<p>Parents - have any advice on how to get over this (other than "Get a Life!" - which I actually have!!!).......??????</p>

<p>I think some of us stop by here daily (or several times a day!) for many reasons. Here are some of mine:
- I learn alot - from finances to what to bring to college - it's all here.
- I need to know alot - for a first child going to college there is SO much to learn!
- D does not have time to search all this stuff out! I consider it my job to be informed - not just on college selection but other stuff too. I report back to her and my husband.
- The whole college process is VERY exciting to me! I would say the whole process is very intriguing and interesting - why not learn more about it!</p>

<p>Your son may not care TODAY, but one day he may wake up and realize, "yikes, I need to know this stuff!" - you'll be there and informed. </p>

<p>Seniors have a lot on their plate. I think there is nothing wrong with you covering all the bases as long as you're not obsessive about giving the info to your son on a continual basis - he'll just tune that out. You'll be prepared (at least to a degree) when you need the info.</p>

<p>Don't fret - enjoy!</p>

<p>Thanks, abasket. I think another part of it for me is that I didn't go through all this for myself way back when. My parents asked me to go check out a couple of colleges and I didn't want to - turned down a great university because I didn't want to go far from home. In retrospect, it all worked out for me, but I wish I knew then what I know now (typical, I guess!). I am happy, earned my BBA and have a great job making great money - happy family, no big issues lurking on the horizon. I know in my heart of hearts that DS1 will be successful at whatever he does, so I don't know why I worry so much! I guess that's all part of being a parent and having spent a little more time on this earth!! </p>

<p>And BTW, I'll cut back on the info I give to DS1 - you're absolutely right about tuning it out b/c I've seen that blank stare a lot lately!!!</p>

<p>Everybody needs a hobby....what's wrong with this one? We aren't hurting anybody. :-) Like you, I just find it all very interesting. </p>

<p>I started out here about 3 years ago when S1 was a sr. in h.s. because I wanted to find out info to help him get into the AF Academy or get an ROTC scholarship. He got the scholarship, he's at Texas A&M, and he's very happy and doing well.</p>

<p>Now S2 is going to be a senior, so there is more to learn. Also, hopefully by this time I can help others who are going through the process. In fact, while I was waiting to pick S2 up from taking his SAT, I got to chatting with another parent there and was able to give her some helpful info regarding her son's college planning. She thanked me profusely before she left!</p>

<p>I have recently asked myself why I come here to read messages so often. One thing I realized is that I enjoy reading the "high level" of conversation from the parents on this forum. There are a lot of really bright, interesting people here!</p>

<p>So, I'd say...have fun but realize that it's only a temporary hobby, and don't share too much info with your son. :-)</p>

<p>Colleges are generally wonderful things. Good ones attract capable young people, then equip them to do greater things whch have the potential to be for the greater good. They generally espouse values that represent how we would all like the world to be. In addition, they're often dazzlingly beautiful places, campus life is fun, and they provide a wealth of cultural, intellectual, and entertainment options that can't be found elsewhere. I'm college-obsessed too; I showed up as a freshman 35 years ago, decided I didn't want to leave, and have been on college campuses ever since.</p>

<p>Timely,</p>

<p>Thanks - and good luck w/S2!!! I sent you a PM if you don't mind taking a minute to let me know your thoughts I'd really appreciate it!</p>

<p>Why do you do it? You're a loving parent...it's an occupational hazard. :)</p>

<p>I'm totally addicted. I could do worse things with my time. I have been really helped by people here and I'd like to help others. It is also an endlessly interesting topic to some of us--oh, no!! we're trapped on this thread forever!! Face it--we want to be trapped.</p>

<p>I so totally can relate to this. Both my kids make fun of my obsession. I will say that the more involved I became in all of this, the more both my kids pushed me away. It would have been better to at least not let them know how wrapped up I was in the whole college selection process, but... oh well, this will just go down on my list of parenting mistakes. In the end, I suppose it's relatively harmless.</p>

<p>I am in the middle of my second year lurking here. And, I'm addicted. At first I kept my obsession from my family, but when I heard Andison's story, I warned my son (and husband) that this could happen to him too. I know that there are more stellar applicants than there are spaces in the elite schools, and I worried that my son would have the same fate. Luckily, he was accepted to every school he applied to (like Bethievt's son) and my son and husband smirked. Now I'm very selective about what info I share with them! He deferred admission for a year and now I'm finding information on what I need to send him to school with!</p>

<p>My daughter is a rising senior and a very different student from my son, so I'm reading to find helpful tidbits re: finding schools for a kid with a good GPA but terrible test scores and few ECs. Her college priorities are warm weather and a beach, and I'm trying to figure out how to deal with that. She's showing no interest whatsoever in preparing for ACTs and SATs in the hopes of improving her scores. They are so different!</p>

<p>I love reading the posts here, and check them several times a day! So many posters have such intelligent things to say, and some of the posts are as enjoyable/humorous/interesting as a good book. I've been following so many stories over the years, and I'm glad to finally join the conversation.</p>

<p>Jeez, I have found my "twins" all of you doing the same things I do daily. My daughter thinks I am crazy, but I tell her that her "job" is to focus on her "things" and this is mine! I think a lot of kids think that they just fill out the app and, poof, they go wherever they want, financing is there, and they just show up! Also, is anybody from GA that has/had a D/S that went to the Governors Honors Program, and is that given good/great weight to an app. Thanks</p>

<p>I'm so relieved to know I'm not alone!!!! Thanks to all for making me realize I'm not nuts! I've learned so much from CC over the past few months - my best friend has been lurking for a while too (rising Sr S1 of 4 this year). I have to say a lot of what I see posted has helped me learn what the schools are looking for and I feel safe in not paying for the local private service to help us out with the college app process. I honestly think there is better (and more real-time for sure) advice here than we'd get paying $100/month for the private service. </p>

<p>Keep the info coming - I'm here for the long haul w/DS1 as a rising senior and then DS2 following in just a few SHORT years!</p>

<p>Hooray for lurkers! Welcome all! I've been here since D was applying to college. She just finished her sophomore year....</p>

<p>I tell myself it's because S is now a rising senior. We will see what happens when he is done.</p>

<p>;)</p>

<p>martharap</p>

<p>Welcome! The andison story caught me too. Others can laugh at us (No, go ahead!) but I think what I've learned here helped prevent my son from having a bad outcome. I didn't pay for outside help either, but the "free"--ok, it took alot of my time--help I got here I passed on to my son by just being able to figure out if an essay topic was offensive or whether to mention certain travel experiences. I think the best thing is 24/7 having someone who will come on and respond. When we are anxious, that feels good. Did you save the acceptance letters? I threw them all in the recycling bin and they're gone. I sort of wish I hadn't done that, but that's irrational, right?</p>

<p>Fellow addict here. </p>

<p>Yes, I did save all the acceptance letters! I have a very nice file with everything my graduating senior collected this year to pass to her younger sibling graduating next year.</p>

<p>For all the criticism I get from family members for my college obsession, they still like the getting the info I have at my fingertips!!!:)</p>

<p>They had nice, handwritten notes from the deans of admission too. I save all kinds of useless paper. Seems like I could have saved these to paw over in my old age.</p>

<p>I did save all the acceptance letters, but no one in my family knows that I have them!</p>

<p>I've got a "problem" as well. It used to be addicted to the youth soccer forums when my son was playing competitive soccer,</p>

<p>Maybe it's that we're all totally embracing our final big role in their lives before they head off. I know I spend far much more time than I should on these boards, as well as on the website of my daughter's college. (Earlier this year, it was all of the colleges she applied to - not to mention the Naviance link her school sent.) Which isn't to say that I haven't found some useful information. I have, but for all the hours I've devoted to this, I should at least have a Ph.D.</p>

<p>Maybe we could form a support group: My name is Kate and I can't seem to put down the Fiske Guide.</p>

<p>Oh well, there are definitely worse things we could be doing with our time. But I do think if we're this involved in our kids' job search a few years hence, we'll have to admit we have a real problem. :)</p>

<p>This is - OMG - my 4th year here. Still have a rising junior in the wings. No need to tell me this site is addictive!</p>