Not to offend...

<p>but doesn't all this posting about sweating buckets over college get a bit depressing? I know college is extremely important. Just reading all these posts about kids in "What are my chances" really gets to me. I just think at times people are sucked in the idea of "my degree from this school is so much better than that school" or "if I don't get perfect score on my ACT or SAT I'll fail life". Again, I'm not trying to offend, if I do then I apoligize. I guess it's me. Probably I took to many chill pills. I don't think applying to college should be 'that' stressful. Anyways, I'm just shocked...stumbling on this site gave me the chills.</p>

<p>This comes up quite often. Those who come here to stress out find other overqualified applicants stresing out. As a result, they become further stressed. It's cyclical.</p>

<p>Getting to this point is another matter. The parents on CC understand the significance of college far better than us students do. They know what college is and is what it is not. Our teachers, friends, and local tea and crumpet book clubspeople are not so enlightened. We're suckered into the process.</p>

<p>We thrive on numbers and statistics. It's all that we have to go by. "Chances" threads aren't taken seriously by their original posters. Nobody can judge accurately. People know this but post anyway, as a way to allay their fears. Usually, egos are massaged. In unfortunate cases, they're spanked. Either way, the student still applies to the schools in question. The threads are a mere formality.</p>

<p>As for the stressing over college, I'd hope to find it here rather than elsewhere. This is a board for people confronting the hurdle that is tertiary education. The per capita stress level is higher here than in our respective high schools. We're the ones who care to begin with. Add to that the realization that everyone else on this board wants the same thing we want and is working harder to get it, and the stress goes up a notch.</p>

<p>What I find on this site is the focus on the top tier school. Because competition is so tough for those schools, it can get kind of nerveracking. While the hunt for the perfect college is stressful in the best of circumstances, its magnified here. Often tenfold.</p>

<p>It is a tad depressing.</p>

<p>But it does give you a wealth of info that can be hard to find elsewhere. It certainly provides an excellent distraction away from homework and AP prepping for me. It gives you lots of different opinions, insight into a lot of interesting scenarios and controversial topics, etc.</p>

<p>And as long as you know that you shouldn't be stressing as much as everybody else, you can handle this sight, what with a lot of grains of salt and everything. Keep it in perspective.</p>

<p>There are about 35-45 schools that EVERYONE's trying to get into and the competition and the stress are overwhelming.</p>

<p>But I've got a secret that I'll share with you. There are over 2,000 colleges in the US, and of the top 100 or 200 schools, if you avoid those schools mentioned above, you can get an EXCELLENT education without the kinds of behaviors you see here on this site.</p>

<p>It took me a year to learn that. I've just given it to you in 45 minutes of your posting above.</p>

<p>Dig, I think that's one of the most important lessons to be learned here - that there are great schools once you get past the few at the top. </p>

<p>It makes perfect sense to me that people here are stressed out about college. To my knowledge no one worries much about getting into our local state uni because they take most everyone who applies. So obviously the students who want to go there have no reason to come here stressing out about their chances. It's the schools that take about 10% of their applicants that send students and parents here looking for help. </p>

<p>I think this site does a wonderful job exposing people to schools and opportunities outside the most selective schools. I've recommended schools I've never heard of based solely on Carolyn's say-so. I've passed along financial aid advice from a number of parents. I even learned some info about musical theatre (believe me, that's a foreign language at our house) that I passed on to a neighbor and I found out today that her daughter, based partially on that info, got into a great school that she feels has the perfect program for her.</p>

<p>Blue147, this site has a lot of good info and provides valuable and useful advice. The "What Are My Chances" forum I avoid like the plague, a den of angst, anxiety, and ignorance. Those questions--and answers--are among the least useful on CC...imnsvho.</p>

<p>The college search is both depressing and exciting, and that's true for both the student and the parents. It's exciting for both - facing a life independent of the parents, the parents seeing the results of all their parenting as their children leave home with the values and behaviors we've tried so hard to instill.</p>

<p>But the depressing side is absolutely there. One of the things that most bothers me is the so-called "passion". The schools say they look for the kid who is passionate, the kids say they have to have EC's that show "passion". Undoubtedly there are kids who truly are passionate about their interests. </p>

<p>But - and this is the depressing part - there are also the kids who choose EC's to create a persona, slogging away at clubs or services they aren't that interested in, etc, so they can claim their service hours. I've heard of people even taking up niche sports, not because they get any real joy out of them, but because they've heard it will impress some school. It's sad, really, that school for these kids (and from reading this board, there appear to be many) seems to have become almost a job they are working at. </p>

<p>They create the person they want to describe on their application, not use the application to describe the person they are. The application, and geting into a particular school, has become the sole objective. Anytime I read a thread where the poster is saying "I need to start a club" or "I need some EC's, what should I do?", I just cringe.</p>

<p>I am always a bit surprised that there is so much interest in Brand X or Brand Y college, and (relatively) so little discussion of the majors the kids want to pursue. Even for those who don't have a fixed idea of what they want to do after college, I am surprised that there isn't more discussion about what classes, what activities, etc will allow them to explore possibilities.</p>

<p>My pet peeve , and it is really way beyond that, is the idea that some have that if the kid is trying for something (grades,awards,scholarships,whatever), somehow it's less impressive than if the awards just naturally flock to him like swallows to Capistrano without the child and certainly not the parent even being aware of the process, much less desiring a public result.:eek: As an example, with NO SPECIFIC POSTER OR CHILD IN MIND. (If you think I'm talking about you , I'm not. Promise. At times I am guilty of some of the sins I mention. I'm not being inconsistent or hypocritical, just truthful.)</p>

<p>Little Johnny of course made NMF but he didn't study. Heaven forbid, how gauche would that be? Do you mean people spend $20.00 on a prep book? He was first in his class with the highest GPA since 1937 (as far back as the records go, but the old headmaster we happened to run into on a detour in Prague said he doubted anyone ever matched S's record. Small world ,huh?) but didn't even know it until it was announced at graduation. We never thought of asking. He winged his speech but since he was a championship extemporaneous speaker the written version won a Pulitzer Prize and some producer is calling wanting to bring it to film but we said that he couldn't write, act , AND direct a major studio production (he just couldn't find the time ). As parents we all have a responsibility to limit these EC's however tempting. We suggested Spielberg as a replacement. </p>

<p>One day Johnny was just running for the pure joy of it and lo and behold he came up on the start of the Hot as Hell Marathon and just kept running and he won it! In record time they say , but he was just running his normal pace. He took 15 AP's but not for the credits, placement or the weighting, it's just that he slept through the honors courses and still made the highest grades in the class. Now he can only sleep every other day. LOL.There are a lot of grade grubbers in Little Johnny's school that work soooo hard and it is sooo sad to see the pressure these kids are under from their parents just to try and keep up with Johnny. Worry about grades? They are there to learn not to make A's-grades are just not that important for the schools those students are likely to attend. It is just soooo wrong-headed! Don't they know that Little Johnny is just special? </p>

<p>Anyway, Johnny ends up tutoring most of the class and half of the teachers ;), and he never keeps track of his hours. But I guess I COULD figure it at 1.75 hours x 3 days a week for 34 weeks a year in every even year and 1.83 hours x 4 days x 34 weeks a year in every odd year, except last year when he volunteered at the Met (they wanted him to repeat a lecture series he delivered to blind Hottentot's on "Tactile Art-Touchy Feely or Good Rubbing Gone Bad?" The curator just asked him out of the blue when she saw it on the front page of our local paper's arts section , here's a link to the article someone e-mailed me, we never read it though, but hear from some of the colleges that are calling little Johnny that it was positive review. (<a href="http://www.nytimes.art.edu/bestest/kid/ever%5B/url%5D"&gt;www.nytimes.art.edu/bestest/kid/ever&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/p>

<p>@curmudgeon: HA. Yes, that is very true. It is the ultimate conceit.</p>

<p>Nom, whatever it is-It gets to me from time to time .The idea that the kind of thinking above has crept into the ad coms' world at super-selective schools is spooky to say the least. The perfect candidate thread going needs to have a caveat-you can never look like you wanted any of the awards,grades or accolades or were willing to work for them.</p>

<p>digmedia - please don't give away our little secret!!! I have a 10th grader and while he will likely not aspire to the ivy league I don't want to encourage additional competition at all the fine schools where he will be applying!!</p>

<p>Curmudgeon: ROFLMAO!!!</p>

<p>ezduzzit-you're the swellest!</p>

<p>But doesn't "it" bother you, too?</p>

<p>Hey Curmudgeon,</p>

<p>Your story inpired me to create an axiom for the super elite schools:</p>

<p>"If you have to apply, you probably won't get in"</p>

<p>Who, me? My middle name is Sunshine!!! :)</p>

<p>I do want to go to "Good Rubbing Gone Bad", however.</p>

<p>audiophile, I thought about something similar but your version is MUCH better.


One of Little Johnny's finest hours, if I do say so myself.</p>

<p>Digmedia, thats one good secret. I'm a junior and I'm familiar with the college admission process because my brother went through it. Even though I have a clue what I want to major in, I don't think I'm good enough for it. UIUC is my first choice but if I'm not accepted I'll choose Indiana or Northern University. </p>

<p>curmudgeon, the link didn't work. Can you post it again? Thanks.</p>

<p>
[quote]
the awards just naturally flock to him like swallows to Capistrano without the child and certainly not the parent even being aware of the process, much less desiring a public result.

[/quote]

curmudgeon, you are my hero.</p>