<p>I used to be a homework machine. I was really on top of things, got stuff done, stepped up to the plate of a big challenge. </p>
<p>Then I developed severe problems with clinical anxiety. I just can't seem to do work anymore. The mere thought of it makes me freak out. I'm afraid of doing it, I get antsy and anxious while doing it, and I'm afraid of doing it wrong. I recoil from challenges. I can't concentrate or work for more than about 20 minutes at a time. </p>
<p>I was working on an incomplete this summer and having the hardest time doing it. I ended up dropping the class. I thought to myself, maybe I'll just do my surveys and readings anyways because they are interesting. But then I thought, if I can do that, why can't I just WRITE a darn paper about it! But the mere THOUGHT of writing the paper made me freak out and drop it all together. </p>
<p>I took this last semester off due to some other medical problems and am headed back this spring. I go to a very challenging Ivy League school. I'm pretty worried. </p>
<p>I take medication for the anxiety. I'm in therapy. I have a few plans, like doing work with a friend of mine who experiences the same problems. But overall, I just don't know what to do. People say "take it one step at a time" but I can't even seem to do that. </p>
<p>How about a coach/tutor who can help you prioritize, organize, etc? Sometimes these big and daunting tasks can be broken down with the help of an objective professional. Have you visited the Academic Success Center or talked to anyone in special services about study skills or organizational help?</p>
<p>Having lots to do can be paralyzing, but usually the tasks aren't nearly as daunting as they seem. I hope you will seek out some help at school...there is a lot available to you there!</p>
<p>I've had the same problem for a long time. I'm still struggling with it, but the best advice I can offer is to find something you really love to do. Then all of the work you do will help you work towards that one goal, and that will help you push though your fear.</p>
<p>I did that -- I'm an art major now. Ever since my meds made my brain into jello I basically had to give up science...which was my major before. </p>
<p>But I can't just take art classes, ya know? And sometimes you get stuck in a class you hate, like the one i had over the summer. </p>
<p>Thank you though, that's a good way to think about it. I can think of my goal as getting an education...</p>
<p>Have you considered supplementing your treatment for anxiety with hypnosis? If you can find a good, experienced therapist, he/she might be able to help you with some way to overcome the inability to get started. Has anyone here used hypnosis along with more conventional treatment for issues associated with LD's, such as the OP's anxiety? I am considering it for a family member.</p>
<p>Wow, you sound almost exactly like me. I can read about math, science, etc... online but when it comes to doing homework I have an incredibly difficult time getting started on it. I would sit down and spend hours trying to get started but most of the times I could not. So what would happen? Well, I would end up waiting until the last minute to complete assignments which exacerbated my anxiety.</p>
<p>One of the reasons why it was so difficult for me to start the homework assignments was because I had such a negative association with doing homework. I have OCD, Tourette's, and generalized anxiety disorder so when I would do homework I would start to count letters in words, tense and jerk all of my muscles, start to make noises, breath irregularly, shudder my eyes, and a BUNCH of other motions.</p>
<p>I was not on medication this past semester and had to take the last month of the semester off during which I went to go see a psychologist because I could no longer take tests, study, do homework, or function properly. I was at the point where I was afraid to leave my room because I had become so self conscious of my Tourette's. All of these problems I had just dealt with by myself never expressing the severity of them to my friends or parents. I had headaches most days and needed to sleep during the day due to exhaustion caused by all of my motions and rituals. Many nights I would sit in my room crying.</p>
<p>I received two A-'s this passed semester and 3 incompletes of which I have until mid semester of the spring term to complete. I have developed a good relationship with my class dean and am now using my schools dissability services, which are a big help. They will allow me to take tests in a separate room and receive double time. I have a lot of work to make up and it is still difficult for me to get started especially since I know I have so much to catch up on.</p>
<p>I am a pre-engineering major and math minor so my course schedule is very tough which doesn't help but under no circumstances will I change my major because it is definitely the path that I want to take. </p>
<p>I get the same "take it one step at a time" and I just think to myself that I will bear my burden and trudge along doing what is necessary to get by and get by successfully because for me there is no other option. </p>
<p>ClaySoul, what kind of work do you plan on doing with your friend?</p>
<p>Does the prescribing doctor know you think the meds turned your brain to jello? S/he may not feel that side effect is outweighed by the benefits. Be sure to talk about the risk benefit ratio of your medications and which medications can be augmented with cognitive behavioral therapies ( if available)</p>
<p>"Clinical anxiety" is not a real DSM diagnosis...see if you can learn about best practices for your specific disorder.</p>
<p>Yes. We just can't seem to find anything that works and doesn't turn my brain to jello. I've been on over 25 meds in the last 6 years. I've finally found a combination that works for my mood, after 6 years, but I still have the brain = jello thing, poor concentration, poor memory, chronic nasuea, a wicked gag reflex, chronic headaches, incredible fatigue, rapid heart rate, diziness, poor hand-eye coordination (for instance ping pong is really hard), agitation, frequent urination, chronic diarrhea, low sex drive...meds simply don't like me. or the other way around. And I'm not exaggerating, either. I'm like a disclaimer on a tv commercial. I take 8 kinds of meds daily. But it's either that or the hospital, so... </p>
<p>And I'm definitely in therapy. </p>
<p>Generalized Anxiety Disorder is I think my DSM diagnosis. It's just that it's augmented by Bipolar II, Narcolepsy, and other sleep problems, so I usually refer to it more broadly as clinical anxiety. But I guess that's not medically correct...</p>
<p>Well, as is usually the case, way to complicated to figure out on the internet, but it sounds like the feeling is the meds are worth it. Best wishes!</p>
<p>P.S. I assume the "homework machine" stuff was before the eight medications and the " severe anxiety and homework " problem started after the eight medications?</p>
<p>i know i'm too complicated to completely disect on the internet...I just didn't know if anyone had any similar experiences and tips on what works for them. </p>
<p>Sounds a lot like me. When I was younger I used to cry over book reports and be absolutely convinced I was doing and horrible job and that it would be the end of the world...and then receive a perfect score every time. Never got through to me, in fact the one time I lost a point was because I had memorized my speech so well it sounded like i was reading it. Anyway last year it seemed that my anxiety did a complete flip from being a hampering motivator to a even more serious roadblock. I can't do anything I want to do if there's any expectation attached to it. Even things that I really want to do or would enjoy on my own anyway. I have to stall when doing my homework, calling my girlfriend, going out with any of my friends. It's exactly like you said, everything is just another obligation and it's impossible to start wittering your list down. At the same time, I'm thirsty and drinking in useless information constantly, but can't pick up an actual book. This is not a very helpful post but...best advice I have is instead of doing the logical thing and starting with the smallest tasks, try tackling the larger projects. That way you get a lot more relief getting them out of the way and don't have them looming over every one of your smaller demands..."I wrote that email I needed to, but I've still got that huge project thats going to decide my grade" kind of thing</p>
<p>i used to keep a list of "things I did well today"</p>
<p>things like, "had a good conversation with graham" or "ate 3 full meals" or "didn't sleep through alarm" </p>
<p>it's actually a good practice</p>
<p>but i know what you mean. as soon as there's judgement attached, a freak out. i was gonna do this paper for a class i ended up dropping. i thought, you know, maybe i'll just do the research anyways cuz it's interesting. but then i thought, you're being an idiot, if you can do the research, JUST WRITE THE PAPER. but the mere THOUGHT of writing the paper caused me so much anxiety i couldn't do it. </p>
<p>i'm actually having more luck than i thought this semester, but it also hasn't been a very demanding semester at all...intellecutally enriching, yes, but not too demanding :)</p>
<p>Maybe a good accommodation for you would be to take fewer courses (or at least fewer demanding courses) at a time, so you have less work overall to deal with. You'd still arrive at the same academic destination; it would just take a little longer and be a lot less stressful. And it would leave you time to do some little extra things that were interesting/pleasurable for you without this sense of messing up your life by not staying on track in order to deal with a vast amount of required work. In this culture, we seem to put a lot of emphasis on being accellerated and advanced and on the fast track. And to what end? Ultimately, allowing yourself to take your time to gain a thoughtful, less stressful but still excellent education might be a better way to go.</p>