<p>All of your advice is very helpful and the exact thing to do to cure homesickness, but its going to be extremely hard for me to do. Everythings been so sudden. I was just suddenly plunged into an entirely new environment, away from my home, family, everything. It was all too quick, I wish I had more time to adjust and take it all in. Its just like going cold turkey for a drug or alcohol addict I guess.</p>
<p>I'm guessing that most of you were getting pretty sick of your parents and really want to get away from them and are just having a complete blast at college with all of your friends, going to parties, social clubs, etc. I'm the EXACT 110% opposite of you guys, thats the problem. I feel as though everyone I see at my college is all happy and enjoying college so much. Is there anyone like me thats still pretty immature I guess and misses the old life???</p>
<p>I agree with you.....living 600mi away from home, paying ~20k per year and not getting the most from the college (a socially dead campus I must add) experience really irks me...that is one of the main reasons I'm transferring to a school closer to home...</p>
<p>My campus isn't socially dead at all, its me, I am the problem. I'm extremely shy and a big time loner, I have been for most of my life. I was content being just with my parents and little brother for company, I never had any friends really, just some people I talked to in middle and high school, but never any real friends. But I was happy with my family, no problems at all.</p>
<p>But now, I'm an adult and one day, I'll have to move away from my parents and be by myself and I'll be totally miserable by myself and will have to make friends. But the thing is, I have no social skills PERIOD due to me living with my parents and having them most of my childhood, thats the enormous, gigantic problem I have. </p>
<p>Making friends is so easy for most of you, but its totally hard for me, it probably sounds really strange to you guys. I now completely sympathize with those trying to quit their cigarette and drinking habits for example. I'd think quitting smoking would be so easy because its such a harmful habit, but its very difficult once you're hooked.
Making friends sounds so easy, but its so difficult for me, I don't know if I could ever make any, this is the major cause of my severe depression and suicidal thoughts I've been having ever since I started college. : (</p>
<p>You guys might say to join clubs and go out, it sounds easy in practice, but its something I could probably never, ever do.</p>
<p>I understand how it can be difficult to make friends. For a very long time I was like that, and was perfectly content not having any friends. Most people don't know that it's like to be happy without friends. However back when I was a Junior in High School, some things changed and I forced myself to be social. It was hard, much more so then a lot of people would think. However it was worth it, and ever since that point it's been something that I need to have. It's gotten much easier with time also, I really don't have to force myself to be social anymore, it just happens. My best advice to you, is try and force yourself to make friends as hard as it sounds. It'll be worth it in the end.</p>
<p>Your problem is not really "homesickness" but loneliness and resulting depression. College will feel better if you find people you can relate to . It migh be a good idea to visit the counseling services at your college health center. They may be able to help you to gain enough confidence and learn some social skills so that you can join in some activities and they may also help you disitinguish between real difficulties and exaggerated fears. If you have any religious affiliation, campus groups of this type can often be be very friendly and supportive and also connect you with experienced counselors. Community service activities are also a good idea--focussing on helping others may help you to break out of your self-imposed boundaries and feel a greater sense of self-worth. The secert of "social skills" is being genuinely interested in other people. Look for people sitting alone who seem left out--offer them your company and find out about them--your are certainly not the only one on your campus who feels that way. Think about your little brother-- what would you tell him if he said he was lonely at school? Think of your family closeness as a potential source of strength, not a cushion to fall back on, but a support enabling you to face the rest of the world and share the warmth and understanding they have given you.</p>
<p>Just realized I am mixing up details from two different posters --but the same advice applies to any lonely freshmen.</p>
<p>i went through the same thing. i still am. i go to school on the west coast, and i live on the east. this is my second year at school...and i still don't want to go back to school. Only, my breaks are all 3 months apart, and i don't come home between breaks - not even for thanksgiving and stuff like that. it gets better after a while, but i don't think it'll ever go away completely. </p>
<p>...and now, i'm looking to transfer somewhere else - not because i'm homesick (well, that's not the main reason) though.</p>
<p>If you could just befriend ONE person, then you could meet that person's friends. You have to start somewhere, so just force yourself to speak to someone doing the laundry, or having dinner, or studying. You must have a roommate or neighbor that would be a natural and easy get together. Football playoffs are starting...why not invite some people to watch the game, eat snacks, etc. It would be a "safe" activity since the focus would not be centered on you.</p>
<p>Thanks for all of the advice you guys, I really appreciate it. Whew, but its gonna be pretty hard for me to make friends. Actually, during my childhood, we'd have to move around a lot, at least 6 times and to different countries as well, and it pained me extremely much to lose my friends. Maybe after a while, I just got sick of everything and maybe decided to shut myself in maybe??</p>
<p>In fact, I had made a pretty good friend during freshman orientation and he was also in my engineering class, but I lost touch with him altogether when I decided to switch majors. Sigh.......</p>
<p>Yeah, humans are social creatures, but I have social anxiety disorder for sure and its caused me to have tons of depression ever since I started college, which has resulted in a really, really poor GPA this past fall. Dang, I'm probably gonna lose my $26,000 scholarship, sucks.</p>
<p>Refer to post #14. Barrons took the words out of my mouth. Look, you're never going to be a full-time resident of your parents' home again, so try to separate. During my first semester of college, I went home once - for thanksgiving - and I live an hour from school. I talk to my parents once a week (if that) for around 45 minutes, and I've never felt particularly homesick. Get some friends, go to parties, lose yourself in the library - whatever. Just realize that you're on your own now.</p>
<p>Social anxiety is not so rare--professional counselors can help you.
if your engineering major friend is still somewhere on campus--you could still contact him and suggest meeting for lunch or coffee or whatever.....</p>
<p>I work at a resident camp where I deal with home sick children alot. The worst thing that can happen when dealing with them is allow them to contact their parents. Barring any emergency, we lock the pay phones so that the kids can't call home. Most kids get over it. I'd advice you lock your proverbial pay phone.</p>
<p>note: This is a boy scout camp with adults staying with the children, so it's not cruel and unusual punishment here.</p>
<p>I completely disagree with millertime. My daughter had to go on class trips lasting two weeks beginning at age 8. The teachers forbid contact with home to minimize homesickness--the homesick children huddled together in misery and were traumatized. On later trips, when cell phones became common, she was free to call whenever she liked and the whole experience became much more palatable. Children do not "forget" their homes when forbidden to call--the reassurance gives them the confidence to cope with the unfamiliar. Maybe most kids get over it at your boy scout camp but some do not--there is no necessity for disrespecting children's natural feelings in this way. Alan Sherman's famous song about Camp Granada shows that communicating with parents does not prevent enjoying a camp experience.</p>
<p>You know what may help--do your homework in the lounge (if you have one on your floor or possibly in your dorm). You can start by saying hi to people who are coming and going (you know, if they do homework too, then ask what they're working on, tell them about yours, etc.), and if you have food (buy a bag of chips or if your parents send care packages of cookies or something), put it out while you're working. Trust me, free food will always draw college students.</p>