<p>I just moved into my dorm yesterday, and i have already become a nervous wreck. I've been crying a ton, and calling my parents asking if i can drop out and transfer to a commuters school. They will not allow me to transfer until i finish one semester at my school, but i honestly do not believe that i can deal with this. I am constantly homesick and thinking of my family. I am a very family oriented person and the loss of them has been the most difficult part for me. I keep on making myself nauseous, and all i want o do is go home. I am going home next weekend, which i hope will be helpful but i am unsure if going home every weekend will help. I don't know if i am just homesick or if i am not ready to leave home. Please help, and please do not say anything rude, i feel terrible enough as it is. i just realized that this is in the parent forum, so sorry in advance</p>
<p>Totally normal! I felt the same way as you a year ago. I think I was actually depressed at one point. I quit going to class. My grades dropped. I cried everyday. Then I got over it and realized I am at the school because I want to be here. Its my dream. I admit I don’t have as many friends as I like to still. Since I’m kinda shy. But thats a work in progress. Don’t skip classes. If you stay in your dorm all day you’re just gonna cry even more. Trust me. Ive been there. Quit calling home. Call once a day. Not multiple times. Why don’t you go off campus? Go to the mall or something. Gym. It will make you feel better.</p>
<p>Honestly, I don’t think you should go home. It just keeps you dependent on them. But I totally understand your want to do it, so I’m not going to say don’t go. Eventually you’ll have to move away from your family, and now’s a great time to do it! There’s plenty of new people to meet, awesome new classes (that will be tough, but hey, that’s college), and a whole new adventure to have. I’m family oriented too. I’d never been away from my family longer than 5 or so days. Skype and texting are magical. Family can keep you updated by sending short texts, and you can skype them at first regularly, then maybe a bit less. Just get involved. Go out and talk to people, join clubs, go to events, etc. Trust me, plenty of people get homesick, but plenty of people also stick it out. Once you get used to it you’ll be super happy you didn’t go to commuter school.</p>
<p>Oh! And don’t forget to eat! Don’t skip meals if you have no one to eat with. I don’t know about your school, but at mine there are to-go boxes in the dinning hall. You can just grab one and eat in your room or in the common room if you feel too uncomfortable in the dinning hall. its important to keep yourself healthy.</p>
<p>I would say don’t eat in your room. Eat in the dining hall or wherever and just ask if you can sit and eat with someone. I did that earlier this week because there were no free spots and got a pretty nice conversation in with a guy and his girlfriend. That’s a good way to make friends. Eating alone is just another way to avoid making friends.</p>
<p>I met a lot of people in the dining hall. Although it took a lot of mustered up courage to sit with people I either didn’t know, or only knew one of the whole group. Honestly, freshmen are all receptive to talking to new people.</p>
<p>Your family is stressed every time you call. They want to come and rescue you and are hurting a lot more than what they show. They are proud of your accomplishments; they want you to do well, and are in real pain every time you call because they don’t want you to suffer. You are their baby bird, but they have to let you go in order for you to be strong and fly, then, soar. Please recognize that they don’t want you to fail for your sake.</p>
<p>It was very difficult to let my babies go, and this weekend, I am in my DD’s college town helping her to move in to her latest house. It is still difficult, but she now has a great support system. I am not looking forward to flying out tomorrow because, no matter what her age is, I’m still her Momma bird, missing her every time I leave her. </p>
<p>Please try to get out and make yourself strong while making them proud.</p>
<p>I’m feeling homesick today,Saturday, because orientation week is over and I have a TON of free time till Monday anyway. I was so busy with info sessions, icebreakers,community outreach, sports and dances last week that I had no time to feel homesick. I think keeping yourself busy helps. (Poker every night also helps 
)</p>
<p>OP, you need to visit the counseling/health services office immediately. They are used to dealing with this. They are located in Forsyth. </p>
<p>You’ve only been in your room for a day so i think it may be a bit early to say that you aren’t ready to leave home. However, I do not think that you should go home. There is strong evidence that says if a child is constantly going home, especially during the first 6 weeks of school it is harder to adjust, the first 6 weeks typically set the tone for the year as well as possibly determine whether or not you want to stay. At one day I think you should relax. At the very least finish out the semester. If you are feeling awful though, which it sounds like you are, but only so much can be assumed through writing then I think that you should make an appointment at your schools counseling center. </p>
<p>It’s important to take care of yourself and seeking professional help is ok. Be sure to go to your schools involvement event and keep an open mind, stay busy, make friends etc. If after novemberish you feel the same then I would look into transferring schools. Try to keep home visits to a maximum of 1 weekend a month. </p>
<p>thank you for all of your answers so far. i plan on making an appointment with the counseling services tomorrow, as they are not open today. I know that everyone keeps saying that this feeling is normal, but everyone i have talked to at school says that they were just so excited to leave home and be rid of their families. I feel so alone, and i honestly do not believe that i can actually handle this for an entire semester. As i have said previously, I have stressed myself out so much that i am making myself sick and anxious all of the time. I am making an honest attempt to make myself feel better by going out with my roommates, who are nice, but i do not feel connected to them in any way. This was my dream school, and i know that i worked very hard to get here, but maybe after finishing up my freshman year, i could commute to neu. I am severely contemplating withdrawing before three weeks are up so we can get the tuition refund because i am almost positive that i will not be able to be without my family for any amount of time. I do not want to regret the decision of leaving my dream school, but i do not want to e miserable and hate my life either. How long was the adjustment for those of you who said that you felt the same way? Also, if i do end up withdrawing before w’s get placed on my transcript, will this negatively impact my chances at getting into medical school? Thank you again</p>
<p>It took me a few months to feel comfortable. I won’t lie lol. But it is normal. Trust me. I still struggle to make friends but things now are a LOT better than they were when i first started here last fall. You need to give it more than one semester i think. Give it 2. And if you still hate it then transfer. Feel free to message me if you wanna talk.</p>
<p>In preparation for a counseling meeting, could you list all the exact ways you need and use your family when you live with them (social, emotional, financial, academic, logistical, religious, etc.)? That might help you and the counselor come up with substitutions, insights, or coping strategies. Good luck!</p>
<p>OP. as others have said, it’s way too early to make these decisions. You said that you have a 3 week window to withdraw and get a full tuition refund – so fine, make that 3-week point your first milestone. I personally think you should give it longer, but I understand your feelings. If after 3 weeks you feel just as miserable as you do now – if you’re still crying and nauseous all the time and you’re hating every minute of being there – then okay, you gave it a shot. </p>
<p>But if in three weeks you are definitely feeling a bit better – you’re still feeling lonely and unsure, but you’ve had some fun here and there, you might be making some friends, there are things about your school that you enjoy-- then stick it out at least for the rest of the semester. And so on. People do transfer, and not everyone finds their perfect fit school the first time. And lots of people live at home and commute – that’s a perfectly acceptable choice. But you should not make that decision based on just a couple of days of being there. Classes haven’t even started yet, right? That’s supposed to be your whole reason for being there! </p>
<p>Please give your school a chance to show you that it really could be the dream school you always thought it was.</p>
<p>?? If you are within commuting distance, you are not required to live on campus. </p>
<p>TomSrOfBoston- Sorry, I realized that i worded that a little bit funny. I am a freshman, and i am required to live on campus while i am here at neu. And to everyone else, thank you, i’m going to set my first milestone as reaching week three and if there is anything at all here that i like, i will definately try and finish up the first semester. Like i said previously, i will try not to go home every weekend, but since i am so close with my family it will be difficult. And if i need to stay at home every weekend to attend school for the first semester, so be it. Thank you for all of your help and encouragement, i am going to try my very best to succeed. If anyone has any more tips or tricks about dealing with feeling even more homesick when you are alone in the morning or at night that would be super helpful. thank you </p>
<p>Staying at home will not help. Have your family come visit you if you need to see them.</p>
<p>What are your afraid of? Write down those fears, and then ask a counselor, your family, etc to help you think about how to handle each one. When little kids cry at kindergarten, or sleep away camp, or overnight at a friend’s house, many of them fear that their parents won’t remember to pick them up, or some kids think that mommy will be sad while they are away, or sick if the parent has been sick with something serious. You know logically that all kids grow up and eventually move away. Your family will remain constant, they are always there for you, you can facetime, or skype, or text periodically, etc. If you give in the homesickness, you won’t be learning how to make it living independently. It might even be harder to leave your family in the future. I say, ask your parents to help you make it through this tough time. Ask them how they felt when they first left home. A very close family is a great thing, but not if you are all co-dependent and can’t function without each other for a bit. If someone is sick, or there have been problems in your family, that can make it tougher to leave because you fear something serious happening while you are away. Is this the case for you and your family? If it is, maybe you need more time to be at home, but if it isn’t realize that this is very similar to when you were little…it’s something you haven’t done before, but you will adjust and get used to things. Maybe you won’t ever completely love living away from your parents, but that’s what visits are for. You will live away for jobs, or grad school, or because your partner has to move for a job…why not learn and practice those skills now, while you have tons of support, and very exciting opportunities around every corner! Good Luck!</p>