She's in. Now, what?

Prep School Admissions Prep School Parents
1

<p>I can’t go to sleep. I am having one of those moments that I read about in old threads—a Post M10 epiphany—BS is not just something you try to get into, it is something that you go to… and… believe it or not…I am not invited to go with my daughter! LOL!</p>

<p>I know I can do this, but this is going to be a life changer! Is anyone else feeling this so soon?</p>

2

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/472708-parents-cafe-why-we-doing.html?highlight=laxtaxi[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/472708-parents-cafe-why-we-doing.html?highlight=laxtaxi&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>This was last year’s angst and support thread on a similar idea.</p>

3

<p>Sandwindsun - that gave me a laugh this morning.</p>

<p>We’re 3/4 through year one, and I think the BS experience has been very good for our daughter and for our family dynamic. Our relationship has improved in many ways and we are in constant contact with her while she is at school. We are currently enjoying the 3 week Spring Break, though, really having fun while she’s home.</p>

<p>I know you are probably still disappointed that you can’t attend too, but think positive!</p>

4

<p>On the actual day that we first took my S to his new school and moved him into his dorm, I had serious heart palpitations while walking around, and had to sit on the ground. It is life changing, and I still miss him terribly. I did institute a rule (after seeing advice here on CC) that he has to call me every day, no matter what. So happy he’s home right now for Spring break, and he’s treated like a rock star whenever he’s here. But it’s very hard to let them go, and I visit often (at least every two weeks).</p>

5

<p>Now, what?..</p>

<p>…8th grade-itis has hit, or maybe it’s just lack of sleep after not being able to sleep after the midnight acceptance.</p>

<p>…We’ve booked the revisit days, and would like to go as a family, since only one of us has gone for the past visits. We’d like to bring siblings along, but aren’t sure about the protocol.</p>

<p>…We’re re-explaining to friends and family that we really are going through this and that we all feel it’s the best option.</p>

<p>…Don’t get be started on paying for the next four years + “suggested” donations during a depression.</p>

<p>…We just spent an hour last night and a half hour this morning discussing our younger son and what might be best for him in three years.</p>

<p>…to be continued…</p>

6

<p>Re-visit protocol for siblings and family; they want you, they really want you!!! So yes, by all means bring siblings (if younger, the schools view them as potential applicants anyway)!</p>

7

<p>I have to warn you, most younger siblings find the revisit days boring, as they need to stay w/ the parents in the parent sessions rather than go to classes w/ the admitted & current students. But if you must bring them, so be it!</p>

8

<p>Fast forward 4 years. My daughter, now a senior, is home on spring break. Yes, I have missed her incredibly. Yes, my heart swells with pride when I see my successful, confident daughter who has turned into a lovely young woman. Every fall I cried as I drove away from the school.
It is so lovely having her home.</p>

9

<p>Be prepared by rejection by families of friends from school, who now see you as “thinking that you are too good” to attend local public. It can be hurtful, but BS is worth it. You have not changed, but the perception of you from the home town crowd will change. </p>

<p>If your hometown social life was built around the parents of your kids friends, you may need a new social life, people with whom will understand you priorities and concerns. Check out the school head book, and contact parents in your area. They’d love to hear from you and share advise, tips, transportation. You, the parent, have entered the new world of BS families.</p>

10

<p>Yes…people who don’t know us think we are “rich and stuck up” (LOL…as loudly as possible and this couldn’t be further from the truth!) because son goes to bs.</p>

11

<p>Or they think our kids have misbehaved and we are sending them to military school. That is the one that gets to me the most. When they ask “what did she do???” with such concerned faces.</p>

12

<p>Im not a parent or anything, but what PhotoOp said is what makes my mom sort of mad also. They want a way to put it down because their child would never get accepted.</p>

13

<p>We are getting pressure from Grammie- how can you send him away? He’s only 14. Don’t do that to my grandson! </p>

<p>It’s very stressful because she does NOT understand. Noone in our family on either side has ever gone to private school never mind boarding school!</p>

14

<p>I am getting more negativity from friends who send their kids to the same local school. My friends/good acquaintances who send their kids to different schools seem happy for our family with the acceptance of D to excellent b-schools, but those who have kids attending the same schools find it, well, they find it kind of insulting. </p>

<p>I think I know why they are feeling this way. It is all somewhat symbolic. I think that leaving a local public school and going to private DS or BS is perceived as a gesture, indicating that this school is not good enough for “my" child. </p>

<p>In reaction, my friends, feeling the symbolic slight, need to let me know that they “believe” in our community school and the importance of connecting (in person) on a daily basis with their kids. This kind of stuff is supposed to prove their commitment and question mine because I am messing with the status quo. Many of them have said that kids at b-schools depend far too much on peer groups rather than their parents because they are not sleeping under the same roof. Research indicates that the “peer-group phenomena” happens no matter where teens live. In addition, my friends have promoted the notion that BS parents miss the impromptu “deep discussion,” the “hanging out, and even the fighting that is a part of the typical parent-child day. Do I think I will miss out on some of this? Yes. Do I think that we will find new moments for the deep discussions and hanging out? Yes. </p>

<p>I understand their perspective and I do believe that it is something like a defense mechanism. This doesn’t mean that I don’t get annoyed or defend my position—actually—I am thinking about giving up on that one—they are not interested in examining the logical fallacies of their claims—they are just trying to defend what they are doing. I am doing that, too! Therefore, I am expanding the old adage “never discuss religion and politics” to “never discuss religion, politics or boarding schools.” </p>

<p>I do believe in public schools and the excellent education my daughter received K-8. We have been fortunate to live in an area that supports an excellent education system. My personal reasons for allowing my daughter to apply/attend BS are related to matters that are specific to her academic and athletic accomplishments as well her demonstrated school/community engagement. I believe she would have been very successful if she went to our local public high school, but I also believe (and I am hoping that I am right) that she will benefit the most from the opportunities that are created by the BS experience.</p>

15

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<p>This is a very wise realization and one that applies across the board, not just in discussions about boarding schools. I cannot tell you how much frustration can be avoided when one simply keeps the above quote in mind.</p>

16

<p>And that brings us to the issue of BS kids maintaining friendships with the kids who stayed behind…</p>

<p>Or the lack there of, so that BS long weekends/vacations are spent with the kid on the couch IMing to BS buddies, never setting foot outside the house. </p>

<p>Push them to continue to be part of the home community, or resign yourself to your kid’s thinking of vacations as a social black hole?</p>

17

<p>I encourage my daughter to keep in touch with her local friends, but actually she doesn’t need much encouraging. Though when she’s home, it’s very sweet—she actually wants to spend time with her family! </p>

<p>As for my relationships with parents from her old public and private schools—I always say how much our family loved the old school, but that this was something my daughter wanted to try. I would never imply that BS is better than what they have chosen for their children, just that it’s something that we thought made sense for ours. (With another child still in the public system, I have credibility on this!). But really, I try to treat people with respect and not make them feel bad, and I don’t take offense if they say things like how they could never stand to do that, because it’s true, it’s a big sacrifice in so many ways to let a child go, and sometimes I wonder how I can do it! People are expressing that in sometimes clumsy ways.</p>