I hear frequently that death should be avoided in college essays, but I feel like it’s been a really big part of shaping me into who I am now (my dad died midway through my freshman year).
I am thinking of addressing this topic in either common application topic #2 - experiencing failure [that would be rather extended; it would relate his death as a cause of my struggle in calculus] or topic #5 - transition to adulthood [less extended but possibly more cliche; it marks a distinct turning point in my life in terms of a lot of different things and parallels the natural transition that happens as you adjust to high school].
I don’t know if this is an appropriate topic or if I’m addressing it properly. Input would be greatly appreciated.
As I review the topic choices for next year it seems like experiencing this loss might fit well with topic 5. If a topic such as death has true meaning to you and that can be conveyed in your essay then who is to say it should be avoided.
A dean at an LAC here in the Midwest discouraged prospective applicants from writing about the three D’s: Death, Drugs and Depression. I think that is because it is difficult to write well about those topics in a way that shows your best self, and sets you apart from others.
However, experiencing the death of a parent during high school is integral to who a student is becoming at that point. If you feel you can write well about your loss, and confidently, then I would say go for it. Someone on another thread quoted a person as saying that if, during your freshman year of college, your application essay fell out of your backpack without a name on it, and anyone picking it up could recognize that it is you, then it is successful.
There’s a big difference between the death of a grandparent ( which many experience) and the death of a parent or sibling before college. The latter experiences inevitably shape who you are and I don’t think that’s the kind of death people refer to when they say don’t talk about death.
I’m sorry for your loss! In this circumstance, I think that it is perfectly acceptable to write about death. I can see how it has had such an impact on you. Between topic #2 and topic #5, I think that your idea fits in well with topic #5. In my opinion, it is easier to relate this topic to #5. I do not think that this would make your essay cliche at all. Because of your circumstances and the way that you are planning on writing your essay, I do think that it can help you stand out from other applicants (in my opinion). I think that your essay definitely has the chance of turning out to be really well! Your essay will come out clearer in topic #5 compared to topic #2 (because it is harder to relate your topic to the prompt of topic #2, if this makes sense). Overall, I think that your topic could definitely represent you really well, and I do not find this inappropriate at all. Good luck!!
@MidwestDad3 and @maya54: Yes, I definitely see what you guys are saying about how this is probably different than most essays about death because of its effect on shaping me personally. Thanks to both of you!
@LionKing2398: Thanks! I think topic 5 is a better fit for me too, I just didn’t want it to sound cliche or anything. Thank you for your help!
I think topic 5 or even one is perfect. It is not cliche because it doesn’t happen to most people. Cliche is also saying tired old platitudes and not saying something detailed, personal and honest. By contract your other idea is awful, trying to explain why you didn’t do well in calc due to this–that seems a bit literal and even craven. Death of a parent is a global catastrophe, not an excuse for a C in calculus. The way you put it for 5 is just right because it is about you and your handling this change and how it affected your development and outlook. There is no reason to avoid this at all. I would not mention calculus.
I am sorry for your loss. With a catastrophic event that affects your grades, I would ask your guidance counselor to explain the grade in calculus, regardless of if you choose to mention it in your essay or not. I would think that most admissions officers would understand that this could make an impact on a student’s grades, and an explanation from the GC is appropriate for issues that affect academics.
The essay is the place to tell admissions about who you are, beyond the other information they have such as grades and scores, so let them know who are. Get someone objective, such as a trusted teacher at school- to give you some feedback on your essay so you know how it is seen by someone who does not know you.
Again, I am sorry for your loss and best wishes to you.
I don’t think that death should “always be avoided.” But I think you’ve got to walk a very careful line.
What Adcoms don’t want to see is an excuse… my dad’s death is the reason I failed. Because the author of that essay isn’t taking any responsibility.
But to talk about death as the backdrop to an essay about YOU-- how it has shaped your actions or your dreams-- I think that’s a different essay. It has a positive upside. It tells that you are and were, to some extent, able to grow from a horrible set of circumstances.
Make sure the essay is about what YOU’VE done and how YOU’VE grown.
Colleges want to invest those precious seats in kids who will find success. Telling how you grew from the loss of your dad implies that you are one of those kids.