<p>“You should really see this as a gift to your boyfriend and not to you”</p>
<p>EXACTLY what it is, and what poetgrl says. As long as you aren’t going to go on vacation and imminently break up with him…or rub it in your families faces (which sounds like you definitely aren’t). Many, many people pay for their kids friends/spouses/girlfriends to go on vacation. This is a present to your boyfriend, and you are part of it. He doesn’t want to go on vacation to Hawaii with his buddies, he wants to go with YOU, of course! Airfare is pretty cheap, anyways. It may seem like alot to you but probably very little to them.</p>
<p>Be very happy and grateful to them, enjoy yourself with no guilt whatsoever. This is one of those no worry, no strings attached gifts. It is great that you have the conscience to be concerned about this, but honestly, this is not one of those times to worry about. Be joyeous, have fun!! And when you’re older and richer, do something nice for another kid.</p>
<p>I would also add that anyone who tells you not to go, and tries to put a guilt trip on you, is purely jealous and would probably jump on this opportunity in a minute if it was offered to them. Do not give in to that in any way.</p>
<p>And…if they use the condo all the time, they probably have plenty of airmiles so they might not be spending a penny anyways!</p>
<p>I wanted to add that when you tell your mother, if she seems upset for the reason you think she will be, gently remind her that she is your mother and you could never hope to pay her pack for her love and support. In otherwords, no matter what gift anyone gives you, your mother dedicated two decades of her life to you. Nothing will ever match that in your heart. </p>
<p>We’ve been on both sides of this and, yes, I can feel a bit wistful that someone can do something for my son that I cannot but it’s a feeling that passes quickly. I know who I am in my son’s life and when we’re the family that can provide something, it never even crosses my mind that we are in anyway competing with their parents. It’s not about that.</p>
<p>I agree with other posters that you should go, unless you think you are about to break up with the boyfriend. The opportunity cost involved in sending you is not actually all that great, especially for an affluent family–much less than it would be for you to purchase a equivalent trip. Because they already own the condo (no extra expense there) the difference between sending the two of you and just sending the boyfriend by himself is only the cost of the airfare. For all you know they may be using frequent flier miles or something like that for your ticket; my husband, for instance, has a charge card that allows him to get “companion tickets” practically free. Moreover you’ve clearly been in their son’s life a long time and helped him through some hard times, so they probably feel as if you are quasi-family. So I think you can accept this gift with a clear conscience.</p>
<p>Try to think clearly about what you truly want to do, not what BF or either family wants–what do you want? If you will feel too indebted, don’t accept. If your BF can’t handle your saying no, then you learn something about him. However, if you are excited at the prospect, go–explaining to your family that this is actually more of a gift for BF than for you. Hopefully they will be excited that you have this cool opportunity!</p>
<p>So as far as your parents are concerned, this amounts to a “date” not a gift. Your BF is being old-fashioned and paying your way. He’s getting a great deal on air fare and lodging. No problem. Wear water shoes when you go snorkeling (the coral is sharp.)</p>
<p>Go and enjoy. S1’s friend invited him on a trip to Mexico with his family after h.s. grad.
They offered to pay half the airfare and S1’s meals. It was a gracious offer and an opportunity for S1 to take a trip that our family could never afford.<br>
We let him go and thanked the parents profusely. S had a great time he’ll never forget.
Just Go!</p>
<p>You go, have a wonderful time, and thank them properly on your return.</p>
<p>As a mother, I can’t imagine feeling put out that my child would have a chance to have such a great trip. In fact, I’d be flattered that someone else thought so highly of my child. </p>
<p>However, I agree with above, that when I pay for another kid to come along, I am doing it so that my kid will have a good time. </p>
<p>And truthfully, a flight to Hawaii for college graduation is not that big a gift. My son is getting a laptop for HS graduation that will likely cost more than both your tickets put together.</p>
<p>Would you go on that trip if it were not a gift from his parents? Say he or you got a windfall, would you go on a trip somewhere together? That is the question to ask, in my opinion. If your relationship is not at the point where you would take a “honeymoon” type trip together (yeah, that’s what it read like to this old mom), don’t take it just because he got one as a gift. There are ramifications to going on a trip like this.</p>
<p>Accept graciously, go and have a great time.</p>
<p>Just because someone has more discretionary money to spend on gifts doesn’t mean that a less well-off person shouldn’t accept a gift from them that they wouldn’t be able to buy for themselves. That’s like saying “Don’t buy me more than I could afford to give you.” I think that’s a little unreasonable and ties the hands of the giver. I don’t know if I am even making sense. :-/ Just go. </p>
<p>My niece is (seriously) dating a fellow who lives in London. He recently flew my sister, bro-in-law, all 3 daughters and 2 granddaughters to London for a ten day trip. My sister/BIL were expecting to pay - they wound up paying nothing - he insisted. </p>
<p>He will be in town in a few weeks and are planning a dinner party for him. My sister’s family is far from being as affluent as he is. They will entertain him in their home, as they’ve done in the past. It’s fine all around. People are people.</p>
<p>Just go and come back and tell us all about it. :-)</p>
<p>I disagree. Unless there is more going on that than the OP stated, I don’t think there are ramifications beyond a nice trip to a nice place.</p>
<p>When studying overseas, our son began a relationship with another US student. At one point he took her on a trip to a lovely destination. No ramifications. It was a trip. It was something nice he wanted to give to her. That was all.</p>
I think this is a good question, useful to smoke out if there is any “weirdness” about this trip. To put it another way, if they didn’t give you this trip, would you possibly travel together to someplace you could afford yourself? If so, I think it’s fine to take the gift.</p>
<p>Without any doubt go to Hawaii. It is such a wonderful gesture on the part of the parents who obviously think highly of you or they would have given their son a gift that only he would appreciate. </p>
<p>I would need to save for a considerable amount of time to send my kids on a trip like this so as a parent who could not do such a thing easily I would be thrilled for my child to receive such a gift. I have loved my children since conception and revel in every good thing that comes their way. I don’t believe your parents would feel bad that they could not afford to do this for you but that someone else can. Most parents would be grateful that someone thought enough of their child to be generous and show kindness. Be a gracious recipient of their gift and send them a lovely floral piece from Hawaii with an attached card. A hand written note and a picture of the two framed taken in Hawaii would be a wonderful way of saying thankyou.</p>
</p>