<p>I also vote for go go go. It’s a kind gift, accept it graciously, and enjoy yourself. You have both been through a lot, and this seems like a particular momentous occasion to do something special. </p>
<p>Don’t make it into a big deal nor let others turn it into one. While it may seem like a big cost to you and your family, for many it is simply the cost of airfare, and that is not at all an unusual or inappropriately large gift in any way. We’ve bought trips for our kids’ friends (just because), we’ve lent our ski cabin to friends, others have let us use their sailboat. There were no strings - it was just fun for us to get to do that, and there wasn’t some kind of expectation of return. To read some kind of obligations or strings into it would seem inappropriate and unfair. Simply accept it for what it is- a nice gift- and enjoy it.</p>
<p>I think post #35 is exactly right!</p>
<p>I really don’t see any ramifications of two 22 year old unmarried adults in a relationship going on vacation together, especially to one of their family’s condo. Seems pretty normal to me, at least in this time period and the world I live in.</p>
<p>Go, have a great time, and send a nice thank you note when you get back.</p>
<p>I also vote to go. BUT I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade here…Who is going to pay for food and entertainment while there? In my experience, cost of food and entertainment in HI are as much as airfare and room. If you think airfare is expensive (generous gift), then expenses in HI will seem outrageous.</p>
<p>I know it’s different, but there is a boy on my sons soccer team that routinely take his friends on cruises. This year; Italy. I SO want to be his friend!</p>
<p>" In my experience, cost of food and entertainment in HI are as much as airfare and room."</p>
<p>Often more. But…I’ve spent time in Hawaii when I was quite impoverished. If you shop at grocery stores, small cafes and spend your days on the beach—cheap. As you get older, you want nice restaurants and wine, small airplane flights, and massages. You can get by cheaply if you want. Our standards just get more expensive.</p>
<p>And Shrinkrap, I want friends like that too. I never had any rich friends, we were all poor. I always tell my kids not to be jealous of their super wealthy friends, just enjoy the perks!</p>
<p>^ I agree. Buy groceries and make dinner in the condo. I’ve also found quite a few ‘food court’ type places.</p>
<p>You are almost college graduates…congratulations.
Just one poster brought the concern about if this is a graduation-honeymoon trip: Cptofthehouse said: Would you go on that trip if it were not a gift from his parents? …If your relationship is not at the point where you would take a “honeymoon” type trip together (yeah, that’s what it read like to this old mom), don’t take it just because he got one as a gift. There are ramifications to going on a trip like this.”
I will add the following: Answer these questions (you don’t have to post your answers, if you don’t want to, but think in your responses):</p>
<p>-Do you think the family is testing you?
-Are they honest people?
-Do they want to ruin your reputation with friends, family and community?
-Do they want son to gain anything with this trip?
-At what stage is your relationship?
-Is this a serious relationship?
-Are you planning a wedding? </p>
<p>We don’t know the family and we don’t know all the details…so after reading all our suggestions, then you will have to decide. However, don’t do anything that will be inspired for the emotion of going to a wonderful place. How will you feel, emotionally, after coming back of that trip? Follow up your guts, hunch and wisdom. </p>
<p>Wishing you a wonderful graduation and success in your future work!</p>
<p>I really just have to say that I think some of you may be making more of this than it really is…</p>
<p>When we take our D’s girlfriends on the trip with us, their parents are perfectly capable of paying for thier kids part of the trip…we live in that type of area…fwiw. However, it is OUR trip and we wouldn’t ask them to pay.</p>
<p>Similarly, when our children have been invited along, though we have offered to pay the cost of the airplane, half the time the family says, “Oh, we’re just using miles,” and the other half they just kind of wave it off…</p>
<p>This is honestly not a big deal.</p>
<p>If it feels like a big deal, then perhaps you can reciprocate with a camping trip in one of our fantastic national parks at some point in time. Certainly, the is what D’s boyfriend has done with her.</p>
<p>But, really, truly, it’s not the big deal everyone is making it out to be…they started dating in high school and have been together at the same college for four years, if you read the original post. This is not a two month old relationship.</p>
<p>Just go and have fun and don’t be over-grateful…for all you know they are using miles to pay for the tickets. Some of us travel for business so much we actually HAVE to use up those miles on family trips.</p>
<p>Relax.</p>