Should I apply to transfer out of my dream school? (Content Warning: sensitive topic)

Transfer Students
1

I was really fortunate to be accepted to my top-choice school on a full-ride. For privacy reasons, I will not mention the name of the school.

I really love the academics there, the professors, the friendly and intellectual atmosphere, and overall the great sense of community.

However, I have struggled with depression for some years now, but it has been particularly bad at this school. I believe that a large part of it has to do with the seasons. I’m from a very sunny place, and my school has extremely long winters and sunshine maybe two months out of the school year. This has had a pretty big toll on me, and hit me particularly hard during spring term, to the point where my therapist and the school dean recommended I take a medical leave.

I started pushing myself to take care of my mental health and made that a priority by joining support groups in the community and pursuing activities that made me happy but that I didn’t normally have time for. I reached out to 2 very close friends who helped me get through it. By doing so, I began to get better, but I had already missed a significant amount of classes and had a lot of catching up to do, so I dropped one of my classes.

I pushed myself to finish the term and finished the school year with an A- average, which I am content with. However, I know that I would have done even better in my courses but more importantly I would have been more happy if this wave of depression hadn’t hit me, or perhaps it was my own fault for not noticing the signs of it luring and preventing it from happening.

Right now, I feel confident that I can prevent it from interfering with my academics, but I’m not sure how I will feel once the academic year begins and the weather becomes gloomy. Because of this lack of control, I’m really afraid of how this school year will play out. Will I remain emotionally stable and be successful, or will I have another major depressive episode that will hinder me from performing at my best? The latter worries me tons.

Should I take a gap year and apply to transfer to a state university from my home state and lose my full-ride and all of the wonderful connections I have made?

I understand that this is a sensitive topic that may be difficult or uncomfortable to answer, but I don’t know where else to reach out for others’ opinions and advice, and I don’t know where to start in trying to find the right solution, for example what things I should take into consideration.

Thank you for any input that you may have.

2

Do you feel that you can put a medical and psychological support team in place at the current school that would make it possible to succeed for three more years?

What if you skipped a winter by studying abroad in a sunny place?

3

@siliconvalleymom I do have a therapist and close friends to support me through it, but they can only do so much. They can make the recovery process easier but they can’t make it go away completely. Depression is so arbitrary that I can’t determine the toll that it will take on me this year.

I have looked into study abroad during the winter, but due to my major the only time that would be possible to study abroad would be in the fall.

4

Are you using therapeutic lights?

5

http://www.cet.org

The above is a link to the Center for Environmental Therapeutics. It’s a good starting point for assessing circadian rhythm problems, getting book recommendations & other resources, and for buying products that are proven to be effective.

Some people in northern regions need to begin light therapy as soon as the very beginning of September.

Perhaps look for a psychiatrist who has some experience with SAD? Some people find adding in an anti-depressant or mood stabilizer makes a big difference.

I own, and use, a CET-approved light box. It does not make me feel as energized and up as I do in the summer months, but it definitely keeps my head above water during the long dark winters. Obviously, one has to use it, regularly, for it to be effective. I find it’s better if I jump on the routine mid-September instead of waiting until things begin to feel bad, around Thanksgiving. I get a book, or my laptop, and my coffee and sit in front of the light box every morning when I get up. I have noticed it firms up my wake and sleep times in the winter, which helps a lot. Watch out for staring into a computer monitor or phone late at night, difficult to avoid as a college student. There are amber glasses and light apps for computers you can look into.

We have the CET-approved Dawn Simulator Lamps, too.

I read one of Michael Terman’s books, and found it validating and motivating.

Good luck. It’s really a thing, I know.

6

Giving up your full ride could become a situational factor that could end up triggering depressive episode if your depression is not purely seasonal, so you need to consider the impact of that decision. Proactively putting things in place as suggested above, while you are feeling well, is a sensible approach. You will have to really stick with all of the interventions, even when you are well.

7

What’s the senstive topic here? Seasonal affective disorder? This isn’t the kind of website where people use “trigger warnings” don’t worry about those.

I wouldn’t give up a full-ride for SAD. I second the therapeutic lights; I find the most depressing part of winter is that it gets dark so early!

8

I would avoid a gap year - in students with mental health issues that is often a precursor to dropping out or making a career of college. If you are truly miserable or suicidal, then you could throw in the towel, give up the scholarship, and find someplace affordable that is in a climate more kindly to your mental health.

However, you managed an A- performance despite obstacles in your first year suggesting that you will be fine academically if you stick it out. People with depression tend to give up too early. Bailing out when you are ostensibly succeeding tends to be erosive to self-esteem and resiliency.

Of course, in the end advice is not very helpful. You must decide what is best.

9

If you are doing well at your school, I would try to exhause all the medical options…Medication, Therapy lights before I transferred.

10

I am an emphatic plus-one to @WISdad23 's advice. Many years ago I was a gap-year-turned-dropout due to depression, and it’s a decision I regret. In particular, the severing of my academic and social ties during the gap year was as much a trigger for depression as school had been.

In your case, it sounds like you have been managing your condition admirably. Finishing with an A- average is an impressive achievement, and one that I take as a sign that your systems for coping are working. Your system may need a tune-up to make it more efficient, but it is fundamentally doing what needs to be done: providing you with the support you need to persevere and perform.

If you’re not using SAD therapy lights, they are a great suggestion to incorporate into tuning and refining your support system. In addition, I have personally found great benefit from meditation and mindfulness practices. Over time they have helped shift depression from a major destabilizing force in my life to a physical symptom that I simply notice, acknowledge, and live with. Depression is still inside the “car” of my life, but these days it never gets to drive.

Everyone’s depression is different, so these specific suggestions may or may not work for you. But I feel confident that you will find the tweaks that make your current support system stronger. You have done so much so right in your first year - take that strength and build on it!

11

There are many students who struggle with depression and other mental health disorders in college. Nobody here can tell you whether you should stay where you are or whether you should move - that is a decision that only you can make, with the help of your therapist and your parents.

One thing that you can do is - since you have a therapist and a support system - try it again, and monitor yourself closely with the help of your psych/med team. If you feel yourself going south and unable to handle it, under the care of a therapist, you can always take medical leave.

12

A full-ride at your top-choice school, that’s great, hard to beat. Congrats. And you say you love so many things about the school. I don’t have any direct experience or expertise on your situation, but I would encourage you to try to continue. It sounds like you want to, and there’d be a lot of plusses. And you already have somewhat of a support system in place.

Maybe you can go in being very proactive about your condition and the things that affect you, have a plan ahead of time, and deal with them as soon as they come up. (This may guide you to be better able to handle things throughout your life.) Maybe use things based on some of the suggestions here, like lights/lamps, or get some suggestions from your therapist.

You should probably talk more with your therapist about this, and see what they think, they know the specifics of your situation better than anyone here. And/or perhaps the school dean, or others there that know you and you trust.

Best of luck to you.

13

Look for a modern building with large windows and a bright exposure on campus where you can regularly sit and work in bright natural light in wintertime. Also, depending on your dorm room architecture, a long mirror by the window could help direct more light into your room. In addition to the therapeutic light, you might like an extra lamp or two to keep the room brightly lit.

14

The difference here is that OP is saying this is, in part, an environmental reaction. Or exacerbated by the long winters. SAD is considered real, has to do with the shortened days of sunlight. If it’s triggering bouts of (pre-existing) depression, I find it tough to just say, stay with the counseling or that a gap year to re-apply would backfire. If it were something like arthritis and the cold/damp was causing flare ups, would we view this differently?

OP, have you asked your therapist about the idea of moving somewhere sunnier? Or the therapeutic lights? I’d look into those and the links from Midwest67. Since fall semester is nearly here, you might continue, try the lights and other suggestions from CET. Have tuition insurance in case you can’t make it through the year. And consider using this coming school year to apply to other schools. You can decide when acceptances come in. Just make this as informed as decision as you can. Best wishes.

15

If this therapist is ignorant of SAD, which appears to be the case from the information provided here, OP should find a different provider who can work on this issue and try to treat the SAD before giving up on an otherwise good situation.

16

Thanks for all of the replies.

According to my therapist, I do not have SAD, I have dysthymia and also had MDD during winter/ spring. I am not completely certain that the poor weather is what caused MDD, but I do remember wishing that it was sunnier outside and regretting going to a school in a place with such dreary weather.

While I do not believe that moving to a sunnier place will get rid of my depression by itself, I believe that it will make it easier to cope with for a variety of reasons.

  1. When it’s sunnier, people tend to be more energetic and positive, and being surrounded by such positive energy helps me to feel positive myself.
  2. I can participate in the outdoor activities that I enjoy.
  3. It requires far less willpower to be active, since when it’s sunny I can literally just take a few steps outside and go for a jog, which usually lifts my mood, at least temporarily. This doesn’t require too much willpower, so even when I’m depressed I can usually push myself to do it. When it’s cold and rainy/ snowy, it requires a lot of effort to layer up and make the 15-20 minute walk to the gym, which I don’t enjoy nearly as much as running outdoors and playing outdoor sports. People may say “just push yourself to do it,” but when I’m in a depressed state it’s just not realistic (it’s something you have to experience to understand).
  4. The support group that I attend is over an hour walk away from campus, which makes it not a viable option during winter.

I’m sure there are plenty of other factors that I am not thinking of. I am not considering transferring because of SAD, but because it is really difficult to do the things that I need to do to stay healthy during winter/ spring.

The reason I am considering taking a gap year is because if I complete this school year, I will have too many credits to transfer to a state university (they have restrictions on the maximum amount of credits), unless I take less classes than I was planning to take, but I would have to look into the credit requirements for my school some more.

17

I think those are valid concerns.

About the credits: could you take what you want, this year, and accept that not all would transfer? What would be the impact of that?

18

@lookingforward No, unfortunately from what I have read, if I were to go over the maximum amount of credits I would be ineligible for admission because I would be considered a senior. They appear to have a strict policy against admitting senior-level transfer students. This is why I am thinking about this very carefully-- if I do not decide to transfer asap, I may never be able to do so in the future if I decide that’s what best.

19

It sounds as if you are entering your Junior year this Fall. Is it possible to start the academic year and transfer mid-year? This would avoid the risks of a gap year and give you a bit of time to decide while still making progress on your academics. It is possible that this year you will find some other ways of making the current situation better as you talk with your therapist and seek out other support on campus.

20

@xraymancs I am entering my sophomore year, but the state schools would consider me a senior since they base a student’s class year on the amount of credits that they have (my current school didn’t accept all AP/dual enrollment credits, but the state schools would).

I looked into your suggestion of transferring mid-year, but unfortunately the schools only offer Fall admission.

It is possible that I will be able to find more support in the community, although probably not on campus since it is a relatively small school with not too many resources. I really like my school, but I just remember hating it so much in the winter and wishing I had chosen to attend elsewhere.

I wish I could predict how this year will go and the subsequent years so that I could do what is best for my health. I think everyone is right in saying that taking a gap year would be detrimental to my health, especially if I do not find a way to keep myself busy this year.

I think for now my best option is to make it through this year but still apply to transfer when applications open up, and maybe look into transferring to other schools where admissions do not take credits taken into account. Then when decisions start coming out I can visit some schools and by then have experienced another winter at my current institution.