<p>I don't know - there's too much hurt and pain from past years. I've always wandered around campus not wanting anyone else to see me for a long time due to such hurt and pain.</p>
<p>I thought I would have avenged all the hurt and pain by getting into UChicago with a top student fellowship, but then they forced me to decline the offer they gave me just for a small mistake I made. :( And which saddens me deeply. Because it was my top choice and because I told everyone about it, I feel like I can't face anyone anymore.</p>
<p>So chances are that I'll be heading to Brown (which I'm still excited about). And I do love the school and I'm sure that I'll have a great time there (and possibly a better time than I would anywhere else), even though I'll most likely have to switch fields. It's just... that I'm still hurt and still have all these social anxiety issues. I just want to start anew, and pretend that no one in real life had ever heard of me before. Plus, I guess the "prestige" thing does help with my social anxiety too, even though I shouldn't give a crap about prestige.</p>