<p>Please, I understand that this is a long message, but I'm in desperate need for help :(
Thanks in advance</p>
<p>Currently, I am in the 2nd term of my 2nd year (Year 13/Grade 12) and I can tell you that although I do not have the hardest subject choices out there - I am literally going through hell. Now, before you tell me that every IB student goes through this at one point, I can tell you now that I am definitely a different case. This is issue (more predominantly towards procrastination) has been an issue since GCSE...</p>
<p>I've already had several wake-up calls but they simply didn't stick - even I don't know how I do it, its like my lazy and procrastinated self has simply taken over. And I know that Im going to regret a decision but I still go ahead with it. I then feel guilty and then start beating myself up for it (not literally...) And please dont get me wrong, I actually care about my education and I try to correct my drawbacks but I simply never succeed. </p>
<p>This constant cycle of failure now has to some extent destroyed me as a person. A good example is for assignments or coursework, I try to perfect them to such an extent that it will end up in me not giving it on time or at all...And even when I do manage to get them in (rare), theyre not great standard, so what exactly do I do?...Well, I just sit there, think of the mistakes I did in the past, thinking of where I could be now if I hadnt wasted the past few years of my life doing nothing at all.</p>
<p>Oh, and just a minor detail, my school doesnt provide me with Music - something I want to pursue as a career....you know, just a minor detail - no biggie. So I actually started doing Trinity Grade 6 exams (ABRSM equivalent) but I just started this year therefore causing a bigger load to carry.</p>
<p>IB has destroyed me to an extent where I no longer do sport or any form of exercise, I no longer listen to music or download new music, I no longer go out and I no longer have time to practice my piano...Furthermore, I am stuck between two 'lives' my education and my music...and if I continue like this, I will be getting nothing of the two. Hence why I actually really want drop IB and focus on music. Think of it this way, there's 2 trains, one which has already gone but is still possible to catch if I run fast enough (although if I fail to catch up with it, I will end up with nothing) or, theres the train which is just about to leave and I can easily take but I don't know where exactly it is going....</p>
<p>I've thought heavily about this decision, I didnt just come up with it once I saw what IB was really like. At one point, my co-ordinator was suggesting certificate but I rejected and convinced him that I could succeed and the same with my parents. Although I am already depressed for letting them down (mostly parents), I dont want to break their hearts even more...Its just that, IB is destroying my personality and my entire self and I dont even know if it is worth it for pursuing a career in the music industry..</p>