My mom has been pushing me not to get a roommate due to her own experiences in colleges. She says that I don’t know what I’m getting into and that roommates can lie and steal and/or have their friends come over and lie and steal and cause me a lot of stress. I used roomsurf to find a potential roommate, and she doesn’t seem like she would do this kind of stuff and I really want to just live in a normal freshmen dorm so I can socialize and have the experience.
Is my mother right? Should I just live in a suite (living with others but having my own room) even though it’s more expensive?
Most freshman are required to have a roommate unless there is some physical/emotional problem. I don’t understand why her bad experience is still haunting her after all this time. Just about all of us had imperfect roommates, but we learned something from them.
@oneuponamom at my university there are dorms where you can share suites with your own private room instead of sharing a room with someone else, which are available to freshmen. She wants me to get those instead but I have no interest and she thinks that I’ll regret it if I don’t.
Also the private room suites cost more.
Trust me when I say sharing a room with another person is overrated. I would suggest the option where you can have your own private room with a shared room if finances permit.
@Niquii77 can you explain why it’s overrated? also thank you for commenting
I have been assigned 3 roommates this year. I have lived with 2 of them. It has sucked.
Make sure you’re on the same sleep schedule. You have the same idea about significant others sleeping over. You both own headphones. You can both live with the other’s level of neatness. You both shower regularly.
Otherwise you might get someone who tells you your trash can makes her uncomfortable and who makes loud phone calls at 3 AM. Who is she calling? No idea. Goooood luck.
In my experience, it is overrated. Sharing a room with another person can be stressful and frustrating, especially if you are paired randomly. There tends to be a good amount of compromising of both roommates that can easily be absolved if each had their own separate rooms. I’ve had some pretty whacked up roommates these past two years and the stories are endless from my friends and classmates.
If it was my child, I would encourage them to have their own room and in a shared suite. You would still be able to meet and develop bonds with new people. You’d be able to have privacy and, within reason, total control over how you operate within your room. Living five feet away from someone loses its charm fast.
Now, really, this rests on how you feel and what your options are. If the private rooms with a shared suite are in the upperclassmen dorms, then I’d suggest otherwise. But if a freshmen dorm offers that setup, I’d say go for it.
Oh, a shared suite is significantly different than a single, which is what I assumed you meant at first. Definitely go for the suite. The shared typical bedroom dorm is over-romanticized, usually by adults who believe you won’t make friends otherwise. If you have your own bedroom, you have your own personal space you don’t have to share, you can sleep undisturbed, know that your belongings are secured, have a space to retreat away from others, and still have a common area that you can socialize in, keep the main suite door open to meet your hall-mates. If I were you, I’d do it if finances permitted and you’d be living with other freshman. You’ll still have suitemates and grow/learn from that experience, you’ll just have your own room within that.
Thank you for the responses guys. I’m looking into the shared suites now, and they are nicer, they’re just more expensive and reviews say it’s “quiet” and not really as social compared to regular dorms despite common rooms and all that, both which I really dislike (not the quiet part, the fact that I won’t be meeting as many people bothers me) I’m considering both choices now, though my mom doesn’t really make it easier because she’s making it seem as in I don’t have a choice.
I do have to say that “suite life” is a bit quieter and therefore less social, however if your college has a strong first year program, it will not be an issue for you. Many colleges have certain dorms reserved for freshmen, and activities for freshmen.
It might be great to have a roommate, but those of us who grew up with “roommates” as in siblings we had to share a room (or a bed - yuck!) with would recommend getting a single in a suite. These could be quads, where pairs of people share one bathroom, and sometimes you end up with a kitchenette or other amenities impossible in a regular double or triple.
Also don’t discount that people who are in doubles are more likely to pair themselves up, so if they room with a friend, it is more likely they will socialize with that friend not the floor.
I love to socialize, but I would say go for the suite if you can. I’m getting the suite option with the lowest number of people to the most bathrooms (2 bedrooms, 1 bath.) There’s multitudes of other ways to socialize without having to worry about if your roommate snores or keeps the light on all night. You can still socialize while brushing your teeth if that is so important.
Besides, what are you going to college for, solely to socialize? I hope not. If you need quiet to study, having your own room could come in handy.
@albert69 I know that having my own room would make it easier to study and have privacy and what not. If I really can not study in my own room then I will go to the libraries to study, which I was planning to do whether I have a roommate or not honestly.
Also why would wanting to live in a social living space point to “only going to college to socialize”?
@rhandco Yes I’ve noticed that people who share rooms with siblings are more likely to say to get a single. I have honestly never had to share a room so I am curious about what the “sharing” experience is like. Also that’s all true, I don’t think living in a private room suite will make it impossible for me to make friends otherwise or anything like that, I’m just not sure if that’s what I want since most likely the rest of my college years I’ll have my own room anyway.
Having a roommate can suck but I’m glad I had to do it.
Really, having roommates isn’t as bad as people on here make it out to be. I don’t know anyone in real life that has the problems people on here have.
Sometimes I wonder if it’s them and not the roommate…
I’m going to be a voice of dissent here. I’ve shared rooms with several different roommates; they were generally good experiences, and I’m still really good friends with all of my roommates. To me it was fun to share a room with roommates and my roommates were all sweet, social people - so we got into a lot of fun stuff together! I met people through my roommates and had a good time. It’s nice to have my own room now that I’m grown and out of college, but in college sharing a room with people was never really a burden. And I have definitely never had anything stolen from me by a roommate.
Honestly I didn’t really study in my room that much - I usually went to the library or a common area meant for studying - but I didn’t find this to be a problem. If I was studying my roommate would wear headphones or vice versa. Coordinating visits from significant others was sometimes an issue, but we found other ways to spend time together other than being holed up in my room. Very few people like to leave their lights on all night long so I doubt this will be a problem; there might be the occasional person who has this issue and you can deal with it if it arises.
Sharing a room with a sibling is nothing like sharing it with a college roommate. I grew up sharing a room with my sister and it didn’t turn me off to sharing a room with a college roommate.
Let’s also note that people who are motivated to share weird roommate stories online are the people who had bad experiences with their roommates. No one goes online to say “My roommate is amazing!” or “My roommate is just fine.” So you’re more likely to hear the uncommon roommate horror story online, but I was an RA in college and a hall director in graduate school and the vast majority of people who share rooms get along just fine, or have conflicts that are minor enough that they can work it out on their own. Besides, you can always have conflicts with suitemates, too - the roommate I had the most interpersonal conflict with I shared a two-bedroom apartment with in graduate school (and we’re still friends).
Wanting to socialize in college is not a bad thing. I would wager that the vast majority of college students are interested in college, in part, to socialize. I certainly was!
So if you want to share a room, go ahead and share one! You most likely will not get axe murdered by your roommate and they probably won’t steal from you, either.
In a suite, you’re still living with people though - 2 to 3 or more, so it’s not as if you’d be missing out on all these experiences you’re hearing about. You just get your own bedroom instead.
Shared Suite with a single room is the best option if you ask me…(that is what I did)…you have your own space, but also a set of people to hang with. Best of all worlds.