<p>Now that I've been through the college admission process, my mom wants me to have a serious "college" talk with my brother, who is in 7th grade, before I go off to college. Perhaps she feels that she did not prepare me the best way possible; that's what I call regret. Now, she does not want my brother to go through the same thing I did. However, I feel that he is too young. </p>
<p>I know my brother; he lacks the natural intelligence that I have. Also, he did not outright rebel in middle school; he did not give the institution the middle finger, like I did. That being said, his grades are not too shabby. They are all A's and B's (a feat that I never accomplished). But, he is taking lower level classes than I did when I was his age. </p>
<p>Should I have this talk with him this early? Well, it is true that class placement matters for high school, but that goes against what I believed in high school. But look, where did that mentality get me?</p>
<p>I feel compelled to answer.
College acceptance these days is such a crap shoot. And there are many ways to skin a cat. Someone who works his/her a-s offsince middle school, takes the absolute hardest classes possible, 9 AP’s and 4 college courses, 4.5 gpa 2100 SAT killer EC’s and leadership
Has no guarantee for college admission.
I say talk to your brother about how he feels about school and the value of setting goals for himself and hard work etc.but dom’t make it a “college talk” he is way too young to start worrying about it. He no doubt has already been influenced by your school path and results, and maybe you can tell him what you might have done differently about schoolwork in general.
I sure hope my younger bro and sis have learned from my outcome. And when the time comes or THEY ask, I’ll be happy to talk with them.</p>
<p>Actually, there are four year universities where admission for such a student is pretty much guaranteed (e.g. University of Alabama). It is always important to have safeties in the application list.</p>
<p>For a 7th grader, the main advice would be to take challenging courses in all subjects in junior high and high school and do well in them. Doing this will help both in college admissions and when he gets to college. You may want to let him know what you would have done differently if you had to do it over.</p>
<p>In 11th grade, you can better advise him on how to make his application list, based on his academic interests and your family’s cost constraints.</p>
<p>Demonios–that is not even close to true–what happens is you see those hyperstudents not applying to schools where they have a better than 6% chance of attending and then don’t get in anywhere–meaning they only apply to the top 10 schools in the nation thinking they are a shoein, not realizing that there are 30,000 kids just like them applying too. </p>
<p>First, there are 100’s of schools across the nation that accept all students that apply by the deadline. No, they aren’t top schools but to say that college admissions is a crapshoot is just wrong. What is wrong is the perception that if you don’t go to an Ivy, you might as well just not go to college because you aren’t going to get a job anyway.</p>
<p>David-I would have a chat with your brother about doing his best and learning good study habits. Also, how do you know he won’t just shine in high school and outpace your accomplishments? He is still young and the fact that he is better behaved will play in his favor :D. I would also suggest that he try some harder courses next year to see how he does, he may get those same A’s and B’s in those courses yet get exposed to a lot more material.</p>
<p>If I were in your shoes, I don’t think I would have a formal talk. But, from time to time over the next few months, I suggest to just mention some of your lessons learned to him whenever it seems relevant to whatever is happening in his life. </p>
<p>Just throw in the occasional, " I wish I had done X instead of Y when I was your age, because doing Y ended up hurting me in college admissions."</p>
<p>What I would suggest is talking to him about helping mom more now that you won’t be around. And how not to do stupid stuff. And you promise to answers his emails about anything anytime. And keep to that promise. </p>
<p>As for college, just say that decisions made now and in hs do and can determine future possibilities, so be smart about choices, friends, etc</p>
<p>And teach him one or two things before you go, like putting gas in the car, or making eggs. It will give him the chance to be the young man instead of little ro.</p>
<p>I think 7th grade is too young to have a “serious” college talk, that you don’t have enough college experience yet to give the “talk,” and that by the way you describe yourself and your brother, you are not the one to have this talk with him anyway.</p>
<p>It’s a good idea to be encouraging and available, and I agree it’s good to teach him to do things that you won’t be around to do anymore and to say you’ll answer emails (and do it.) But sitting him down formally doesn’t seem like it’s going to accomplish much.</p>
<p>Well, speaking as the ‘youngest’ he already knows what didn’t work so well for you. He’s heard it all.<br>
Maybe one thing he hasn’t heard clearly is an honest assessment from you on any regrets or non-regrets you have. That may be helpful, if it is delivered as a reflection on your own experiences instead of a warning to him. He’s already heard the warnings and it sounds like he has chosen a different path-better grades and less difficult classes.</p>
<p>One thing he can use some guidance on is class selection to get a good choice of the subjects that interest him. At our schools, we have Project Lead the Way classes that are starting as early as Middle School. He could check out some different subjects so he can get an idea of what he wants to study in college. That is guidance that is helpful.</p>
<p>I agree that it might be helpful to share any regrets you may have. Also, try to recall what it felt like to be his age, and talk to him about that. Something like: “When I was 13, I didn’t care about my grades (or whatever it is) but I really wished I had done such-and-such…”</p>
<p>Whether or not he will listen to your advice may depend on what your relationship is like at this time. My younger son would not care to hear his older brothers advice, Lol.</p>
<p>Good grief, as if a 12 or 13 year old boy would pay the slightest bit of attention to that sort of discussion or retain it for more than 10 minutes amid the wash of hormones and the other distractions of early adolescence. Tell your mom that 1) such a talk would have been wasted on you at that age and 2) you aren’t his parent and don’t want to sully your brotherly relationship by acting like one. But be there for your brother whenever he needs you, whether it’s for advice or just to vent about your folks–that’s something meaningful that you can do for him.</p>
<p>“Someone who works his/her a-s offsince middle school, takes the absolute hardest classes possible, 9 AP’s and 4 college courses, 4.5 gpa 2100 SAT killer EC’s and leadership
Has no guarantee for college admission.”</p>
<p>This is simply not true. The above referenced student may not have a guarantee of admission to the top college in the country. However, college admission SOMEWHERE is a virtual guarantee if the student wants to go to college.</p>
<p>My 8th grader (4.0 for 6 thru 8 grade, 99% on the pre-PSAT readistep) is receiving daily college talks to ensure that like the good (half) Tiger cub she is she will use this pretty good brain of hers to something interesting and challenging (left to her own devices she would take AP TV watching and IB Facebook…)</p>
<p>She needs to understand that starting 9th grade, i.e. a couple months from now, grades and effort do matter. Her sister was able to get into a state flagship with a scholarship on average grades, stellar HS course selection, and a stellar portfolio (architecture) but for DD2, it’s another story. </p>
<p>I guess it all depends on one’s maturity level. DD2 at nearly 15 is far more mature than the rest of us put together. With such a student, discussions of the relative merits of college A vs college B are useful while with DD1, ever the artistic type that she is, never realized it to quite this extent.</p>
<p>My sister is in 6th grade, so a similar age.</p>
<p>In my district, it is important for 7th graders to get into the advanced math track in 8th grade. Also, for college admissions, students should know the importance of grades and extracurriculars from 9th grade.</p>
<p>I just want to let my sister know why it is important to study, and to link it to an eventual goal. Just establishing that you should try and do well, but not putting any additional pressure.</p>
<p>We had a speaker on college night who I believe said that 75% of the colleges in the US accept everyone who applies. That said, I think David could have “a talk” not “the talk” with his brother. I’d keep it casual and just talk about the things he did right and wrong, and the consequences of some of the choices his brother will be making in the next year or two. Probably the best thing he could do for his brother is invite him to come visit him in a few years and see what college life is like.</p>
<p>“However, college admission SOMEWHERE is a virtual guarantee if the student wants to go to college.”</p>
<p>On top of that, a full ride SOMEWHERE is a virtual guarantee for that student.</p>
<p>I think this is way too early for a serious talk, and that’s coming from someone who is paid to have these serious talks with kids. That said, I’d humor your mother and have a chat with your brother about how awesome college is going to be and how much he has to look forward to. Throw in something about the harder you work, the more choices you have. That’s all he could possibly absorb, anyway.</p>
<p>I am a middle school counselor. I meet with 7th grade kids and parents and talk about college. I don’t talk about specifics so much as general things. It is not too early for kids to know that colleges are going to look at a student’s GPA, ACT or SAT scores, college prep classes, and ECs. Middle school students need to understand that GPAs are figured from the beginning of HS and they need to understand that the things they do in high school count from the very beginning. And they need to use their middle school years to develop skills that will help them get off to the best start possible in high school. Should you be the one to share this info with your brother? Probably not, but it probably won’t hurt either. The best message you can give him is that the better he does in high school, the more options he will have when it comes time to apply for college and options are good!</p>
<p>One of the most important things for students at that age is to learn how to wrestle A’s out of the mouths of B’s, and not the other way 'round. Nothing worse than looking into a HS senior’s transcript and stewing over all those B’s that could have should have been A’s (in easy elective type classes) and so on by a hair.</p>
<p>A “talk” with someone older and probably more experienced would emphasize the grade aspect such that near misses of the type above would be reduced…</p>