My DD is 18 and has a car. She is a good driver who has never had an accident. But she’s also never driven three hours before, which is how far away this school is. She has already been admitted, and wants to go for an overnight with a friend who is hoping to be admitted later this month. Because of their schedule, it looks like their entire drive home will be in the dark, on heavily traveled interstates. The other girl’s mom asked me if I was comfortable with this, because I am the one who knows my daughter’s driving ability. She said if I was comfortable then she was comfortable sending her daughter along, but if I wasn’t comfortable then she would drive them or we could put them on a bus. My husband cannot understand why I am hesitating. But my daughter has never driven more than 25 miles on the highway without me in the car, and the most she’s driven at one stretch is 100 miles (with me in the car). The girls would bunk with a friend who is already a student at the college. Thoughts?
Any chance of bad weather?
I might be nervous if she was driving alone, but she should be fine with a friend. Does she have her own AAA card? My son, now a college freshman, drove his car to Florida from NJ. I insisted he bring his elder brother along when he drove down, but he made trip home for Xmas solo. He also arranged travel from his boarding school in PA last spring to attend an accepted students’ weekend at Willamette, in Oregon. That entailed train trips, plane changes, reservations at a motel near Portland airport, and at a youth hostel in Portland. He traveled to admitted students’ event in FL over summer, flying down and renting car (possible for 18-year-olds with AAA memberships, by the way). With present-day mobile communications, two young women should be fine. If it’s within her comfort zone, it should be within yours. The days when you can keep her within sight are severely, albeit (possibly) sadly, numbered.
I think the weather should be okay by the time they go.
I think it really depends on the area. Will they be driving through a major city on the interstate? At rush hour? Is there a lot of rural driving?
I’d probably let her do it, but not to return at night. Stay another night, leave a little earlier. It is difficult to drive in the night if one isn’t used to it.
I myself preferred not to let my kids do serious and long highway driving if they hadn’t done it with me in the car already. For example, we let her drive back from Philly to our home in NY after Thanksgiving.
I understand your hesitation here. Three hours in one stretch is a lot, plus you can imagine how little sleep they might get on their overnight visit. (probably sleeping on the dorm floor?) So after a visit packed with activities, she has to get in the car at night and drive busy interstates for 3 hours.
Is there any way to postpone the return drive until the next morning? Daylight driving seems to be easier.
My 2 cents. If you are not sure and this would be her first time driving a long distance, then I wouldn’t have her drive someone else’s child. I also think driving during the day is better. I would make sure the car is in good condition.
It sounds like you are not comfortable with this arrangement. If you were comfortable with it, you wouldn’t be asking for opinions.
That being the case…what’s the matter with the bus? The girls can chat, or nap while they leave the driving to someone else!
They are 18 and going to college in 5 months…let them go!
Let them go unless they have to navigate an intimidating city like Baltimore,DC, NYC, Boston,etc.
@woogzmama , I never knew that about the AAA/18 year old car rental thing. Thanks! I’ll have to look into that. Is it only in Florida? Do you have to go thru the AAA site or regular car rental sites?
I’d let them go so long as there are no issues with the car. My D wants to do a very long roadtrip this summer but I don’t want her to take her 2001 Toyota with a million miles on it lol. Well, not a milliion but… Like another poster said, in a few months they’ll be essentially on their own, what better time to start practicing? Any chance she’ll be taking her car to college with her in August and will need to do that drive many times over the next four years?
Another one who says let them go. 3 hours with a friend in the car can fly by. Especially if they will not be stuck in traffic and the weather is good.
Could you and your daughter go on a girls’ trip somewhere between now and then and have her do all the driving? It might be fun for the 2 of you to have the time together and you would be able to see how she handles the driving.
FWIW, I do not think 3 hrs is that long of a drive. Interstate driving, though, for someone not used to it, that would be more concerning. Merging, changing lanes, and comfort with the speed are the issues I would want to observe and make sure were mastered skills before sending her off. Do you live near an interstate? If so, I would make a point of having her practicing those skills now.
Thanks, everyone, for weighing in. Yes, we live near several interstates and she drives on them, just not usually for more than 15 minutes at a time. The car is in good shape. I did tell her last night that I would be more inclined to say yes if they could promise to leave campus in the afternoon and not after nightfall, as was the original plan. The other girl is fairly religious and normally does not travel on the Sabbath, so I don’t know if that will fly. It’s good to know that so many of you say she should go–makes me think perhaps I am being just the teensiest bit overprotective.
Is it possible for your daughter, between now and the visit, increase her driving range as suggested above? I’m on the conservative side on these things so I totally get your concern. Plan a day trip to some place an hour or so away and have her drive both ways.
I feel like the interstate driving is the safest and easiest driving. Merging in is the hardest part. She can pick a lane and stay in it. Big city drivers are the worst, and if she won’t have to deal with them (zipping around you, cutting you off, honking rudely, not letting you into the lane you need, etc), she’ll be fine.
Not all three hour drives are the same. My inclination would be to do the bus for now (if your D pulls an all-nighter she will be grateful to be able to fall asleep on the ride home) and wait for spring/summer to work on her distance driving skills. I think the responses you are getting reflect regional bias. Someone who regularly does the drive from New Haven, CT to Philadelphia is thinking “3 hours of white knuckle, heavy traffic, exits blocked, no shoulder, need to know five alternative routes when a tractor-trailer overturns near the entrance to the GW Bridge”. Someone thinking about zipping onto I-75 in Cincinnati and heading due North without having to deal with tolls, bridges, alternative routes, and scary merges is thinking “no big deal”.
Let her go. This will be a good test of college readiness for both of you.
I am an old fart, but I did driving like that when I was her age, and even more my freshman year of college that my parents didn’t know about. I was the most experienced driver in my circle of friends in college, which was located in a fairly urban area, so I always drove. I didn’t have a car, I had to borrow one, but I was the best driver.
My only additional thought would be if she is nervous, have her take the bus. That is a whole other grown up experience. My kids have car-less stages now (we are too mean to give them a car in college), so they have learned to take the bus.