My daughter is a freshman in college at a private school that requires CSS. We haven’t spoken in four years because she refuses to have contact. I paid her mom child support until she aged out and I still pay child support for her brother. I never received any request from her or any of the schools she applied to to provide a non-custodial parent profile. I presume she applied for a waiver, but there’s no justification for a waiver. I don’t know for a fact that she applied for financial aid but it’s very likely since her mother doesn’t earn enough to pay full tuition (though I don’t know if her mother had other assets or if her step-father has significant assets). The monthly child support I pay is significantly more than her mother earns, so I also suspect that she and her mother may have omitted the child support from FAFSA. If my financial information is included in CSS it’s unlikely she would be eligible for any need based aid.
The school she goes to is also my alma mater, I’m a member of the alumni association, and they even sent me a letter from their “legacy” coordinator when she applied, so they know I exist.
If she did file a waiver request, I presume it would have sounded very dramatic and would have included many falsehoods.
What should I do? I think about this every time I send a child support check to her mom. I feel that assuming as is likely that she is receiving significant financial aid, what she and her mom have done is completely wrong, almost certainly illegal and shouldn’t be ignored. I’m also unclear on whether this would be entirely my daughters responsibility, or if both she and her mom are responsible (I.e. not sure if information is filed only by my daughter or by my daughter and her mother).
I have also thought about just filing a CSS NCP but I don’t know what would happen if her college receives that and had a waiver on file.
I recognize that the worst case consequences for my daughter could be severe, and that definitely gives me pause, but it still doesn’t feel right to pretend this is all OK. I should add that given the amount of child support that I paid (and still pay), I’m not in a position to help her pay for college nor would I be inclined to given her actions.
This is going to be harsh but you sound petty. Maybe working on your relationship with your daughter should take priority over an alleged crime that you can’t even confirm is happening.
Child support is not taxable so it does not show up in the FAFSA linkage to the IRS. However, it is reported as untaxable income on the CSS Profile (and FAFSA- edited to add).
Since the current child support paid by you to the mother, is for the son, the Special Circumstances section of the CSS Profile may be used to explain that child support for the daughter has ended and that that portion of the income is for the son.
I do not think your ex-wife is supposed to use the child support for the son, to pay for expenses for your daughter.
Imagine if you are right, which you probably are not - is this really the way to get through to your daughter; forcing her into a bad situation. I suggest a plan b.
I can’t imagine not wanting the best for your own child. I can see why she doesn’t want contact with you.
Perhaps she won a merit scholarship. Perhaps she inherited money you don’t know about. You are operating with incomplete information, and making snap judgments our of spite.
You are the terrible person in this situation. One thing you can’t ever say is that you were never told.
I wouldn’t pursue this, you aren’t even sure there is any fraud. At some point I hope you are able to build a good relationship with your adult daughter.
@compmom Any child support received (or paid) must also be listed on FAFSA as untaxed income.
The high road is better because its traveled less often or something like that. Maybe reach out to your daughter and see if she needs any walking around money. She probably has a student card that parents can add cash or dining dollars. A gift card for Uber or Grubhub could work.
OP, such a great opportunity to build a bridge to your D! Email her on her university account (which you can likely get from the alum coordinator), tell her how proud you are of her, how much you’d like to chat, call, get together once Covid is no longer a concern, take her to dinner at your favorite restaurant in town, hear about her classes, roommate, professors, activities.
How wonderful that you now have something in common. Everyone needs a loving and involved Dad in their life… and now that can be you. Just because your child support obligations are over, does not mean that you can’t be a loving and involved father in her life.
My dad died when I was an adult, happily married, job that I love, incredible kids. But his continued presence in my life was such a singular joy and I miss him terribly even after many years. Everyone needs a dad. There are so many things that I have achieved which would not have been possible without his support during my college and post college years. He didn’t always approve of my choices, but always kept the door open for dialogue.
You can do this. Whatever went down with your ex is surely not something that your D needs to pay for by not having a dad in her life.