<p>To All: I also was once an objective paying parent of a college student. My SS applied to many schools, but only one of which did not follow their own rules for an incoming student: Dickinson College.</p>
<p>This has lead our family to a massive change in our working family’s financial structure. Many families deal with the cost with the cost of education, however the machiavellian attitude of Dickinson College (not to mention that of the derogatory posters here) seem to have NO kind words or advice for those in financial hardship. There is NO Dickinson “family” community here. Just rebuke if you do not pay the ticket.</p>
<p>If my views here are abundantly clear, I certainly hope so. Just as Intparent’s views are clear, so are mine.</p>
<p>My experience is just as valid as anyone else. We were treated unjustly and there is no reason why I cannot tell my story here to serve a a warning to others.</p>
<p>This is ridiculous. patter is no help to anyone regarding Dickinson. She has made 1 post(s) (of her total of 1) since 4/19/2013 for Dickinson. You are not helping anyone at all in making a decision. </p>
<p>Since no employers or anyone else except helicopter parents care about D3 lacrosse (let’s see, they are ranked #2 in the country in DIII lacrosse, NOT a big deal in lacrosse circles as just an example) since I graduated from a D1 lacrosse school.</p>
<p>I think the school is charming (so I can feel good about mortgaging my only home) and if my kid wants to go there, I think he should get a real job.</p>
<p>Do you realize that you are really not helping anyone CarolineH. Your disappointment is clear. Telling others not to go to Dickinson or any other college because you did not receive enough financial aid is selfish and misguided. This forum is to provide advice not “poison the well” because you feel slighted. One mention is probably enough not 27+.</p>
<p>I only posted because it is obvious you have gone overboard and are on a vendetta. I was not posting to you but frankly for the benefit of anyone else looking at this Dickinson forum</p>
<p>To patter; of all the forums here you really think that I am some kid of voice that needs to be stopped? Really? You’ve been here like two weeks. </p>
<p>Other posters who have posted thousands of slobberific accounts of Dickinson’s infallibility are also not being misguiding? Where is your rebuke for them?</p>
<p>DICKINSON IS TOTALLY INFALLIBLE?</p>
<p>Not only did Dickinson not offer “enough” aid…they offered NONE. We would have qualified for some kind of aid had they simply processed the application. They did not process the application. Admissions did not speak to either parent nor did they respond to requests for information until Rick Heckman’s (in admissions) supervisors were copied in. His response was that he talked to someone else (not either parent or step parent) that said SS did not need to apply for fin-aid. Great Rick…good to know someone we’ve never meet is telling you what to do with our kid.</p>
<p>We are paying the same as if my SS went to an ivy…but he’s not. He’s going to Dickinson. No aid, no loans…nothing. Just another mortgage on the home, 88 year-old mother in law cashing on her Social Security, depleted 401K just for Dickinson. </p>
<p>THIS DID NOT NEED TO HAPPEN IF THE APPLICATION WAS PROCESSED AS SUBMITTED!</p>
<p>Do you realize that you are really not helping any parent including CarolineH. Telling others about Dickinson (a school you’ve only visited) is creepish and misguided. This forum is to provide advice; not attack the CarolineH because you’re friends with another poster. </p>
<p>I only posted because it is obvious you have gone overboard in cyberstalking one poster out of THOUSANDS. I was not posting to you but frankly for the benefit of anyone else looking at this Dickinson forum so that they understand that Dickinson is capable of mishandling prospective families.</p>
<p>The story posted by CarolineH the first time around was different… it sounded like Dickinson talked to the CUSTODIAL parent, which she and her H are not. I personally would not say Dickinson was infallible. If you read back over my total posts on Dickinson, you will find a fair and balanced assessment. Most of my kid’s experience was good and it was the right school for her. It was not the right school for my second kid, who will be attending elsewhere. This poster has a bad case of step-parent sour grapes.</p>
<p>This kind of outcome is common among students with divorced parents where there is a significant difference between the financial situation of the two families involved, and where the CSS profile is used - this same situation would have happened whether the student applied for financial aid or not. Given that CarolineH is the non-custodial Step Parent, if could have happend even at a FAFSA only school. If her husband agreed to pay half of the family contribution to tuition, as part of the divorce decree, the responsibility sits squarely on his shoulders. I have seen situations where the NCP is the one who is well off, and refuses to pay for college - but because they were marginally involved in the student’s life, the student is not independent, not just dependent on the custodial parent.</p>
<p>CarolineH - you beef is with your husband, his ex-wife, and your step son. Maybe she convinced SS to go to Dickinson in order to stick it to his father, who knows. They obviously did an end-run around the admissions process. Other schools do the same. Maybe not any he applied to, but maybe he wasn’t qualified for those schools.</p>
<p>As an attorney who years ago practiced family law (but no longer does, thankfully), the responsibility that my client would have towards his/her children’s college costs would often be one of the biggest considerations in crafting the ultimate settlement of the case. Even when I was representing the “monied” parent, it was common to insist upon a provision that the parents would contribute equitably (if not equally) towards the cost of college, but with a cap not to exceed tuition and room/board for a SUNY four-year school (SUNY being the benchmark since I am based in New York). If the kids wanted to attend a more expensive private school, neither parent would be obligated to pay a higher amount (although they could certainly voluntarily agree to do so). Without knowing the particulars of the matter being discussed, one can infer that the non-custodial parent was not protected by such a provision in his divorce settlement, which is unfortunate.</p>
<p>CarolineH, it sounds like your family went overbudget on the college selection process. While it sonds like your experience with Dickinson was challenging, I agree with CTScoutmom that it seems like your beef is really with whomever gave your SS the okay to look at and matriculate at a school that is out of reach for your family, financially. I only hope that the SS isn’t paying the price for your bitterness towards his decision.</p>
<p>Scoop85–1/2 of cost of state school is the benchmark in Connecticut, very seldom would something more be forced on a parent. Sounds lile NCP here was badly represented in divorce action or wanted to agree to more.</p>
<p>My H wanted to do more than the minimum for his children but didn’t realize the folks at Dickinson would be so underhanded. Dickinson did not communicate with the “custodial” parent. In CT there is “joint custody” in my H’s case and “primary resident.” There’s also the parent who actually has the most visitation days during a calendar year. My H often had equal or more visitation days during the year. Now the FAFSA does ask for the actual time spent with each parent during a calendar year. In the years leading up to SS college admission, H would have been the <em>main</em> person in FAFSA’s terms. However, Dickinson did not allow the process to take place. They simply took a call from the ex’s attorney who provided them with false information without speaking to either parent. The application was submitted and signed and was to be based on financial aid. Even though SS and H agreed to it, Dickinson did not do that. </p>
<p>Sadly, now that SS is at Dickinson, he has been happy to throw his weight around with rooming assignments and the like with emails such as “my mom knows powerful ppl in development.” Believe me, he’s not paying for anything…literally or figuratively.</p>