<p>We’re planning on leaving our 12 year old daughter, who adores her big brother who is going away (she gets teary eyed just thinking about it), at home with grandma. If she went, she would miss first 3 days of her school (not a super biggie but starting middle school) but it is also cross country flight. She’ll be home alone with grandma for 2 days before starting her school.</p>
<p>I know she’ll be bawling at home with brother/mom/dad all gone so am trying to plan things to distract her like sleepovers at a friends house. Without hijacking the thread, brilliant suggestions for things to do for the left at home child?</p>
<p>Subsequent years, we did take younger D. Reed starts in Aug, younger Ds school doesn’t start till after Labor Day.</p>
<p>Younger D also visited big sis many times over the years either by herself or with friends, enough so that when older D took year off and didn’t graduate with her friends from her freshman dorm, both D’s and I went for their graduation, and I took younger D out of school for that.</p>
<p>End of year, H went by himself for move out, except for graduation, when we all went of course, but then younger D had an important school field trip she didn’t want to completely miss, so H drove her up to that, as soon as they saw sis walk across the stage.</p>
<p>This past year, when younger D started college, older D was able to come up for a few days which was nice- I hope- I was mainly relegated to staying in the hotel room with our ancient canine, but they did get to spend some rare time together ( rare, because older D lives in another state, and younger D had been out of the country)
;)</p>
<p>ihs76-fun that your 12 year old will be with grandma…will she be at home? Home might be sadder noticing the absence of family but also might be comforting to be around familiar things. Perhaps a new distracting item/movie to see or thing to do for grandma to pull out of her hat on day 2? I found I just needed to be quiet and sad that first day, didn’t really want the distraction of being around friends (although my good friend left beer and chocolate waiting for me…and it would have been hot and melted if ds1 not home to put it in fridge!)</p>
<p>My two youngers did not go with us…OSU on quarters so late Sept not good to miss for hs age son. 12 year old son left for an exchange trip to Poland the same day! He had his own set of distractions in the days leading up to dd’s departure and was glad he went to airport first thing in the morning…we had my car packed with his bag and hubby’s truck packed with college gear. Woke dd up to say goodbyes in kitchen before ds1 off to school and ds2 to airport and then she had some time alone at home to finish packing. Not the ideal situation going in but it worked out fine.</p>
<p>ds2 visited a few weeks later on a day off school and we walked around, ate, shopped between her classes so he got his “visual” then. ds1 visited on family weekend and then later for a football game.</p>
<p>I personally do not want any of my four (4!!) siblings around that day. Just me and my parents. (and yes, I am the middle child…)</p>
<p>Even though I am first-generation and neither of my older sisters went away for college (one to the Marines and one to CC), I don’t want them around. I want to be the center of my parents’ attention, even if only for one day. </p>
<p>I hope that didn’t sound incredibly selfish…</p>
<p>My daughter’s friend’s family brought two siblings, both parents (divorced, went separately), aunt, grandmother, cousins, uncle who flew in for the occasion. This student was extremely embarrassed by all of this attention! Of course, when they all came to graduation, it was a wonderful celebration.
We are lucky because grandparents jumped on the opportunity to be with the siblings for a day or two while we did this.</p>
<p>Writer1992, what you have said makes perfect sense. Maybe that’s part of the solution here, perhaps parents should be asking their college student what they’d prefer (within the bounds of available babysitters, plane fares, etc).</p>
<p>As for “excused” absences from school, at our school the only “excused” absences have doctor’s notes or documentation from a funeral. Other exceptions for unusual circumstances can be made by a vice-principal. Beyond that, all absences are considered “unexcused” and you get a limited number of those per year (but it’s a reasonable number, like 10).</p>
<p>Last year we asked my oldest, who was heading off to college and her younger borthers what they wanted to do … and we ended up with the whole family of 5 making the trip to drop her off … and it worked out great (with the boys and I getting out of the dorm during the room set-up).</p>
<p>Fast forward a year … I’m waiting in the mud room to get on the road with my daughter … Mom3togo gives Firsttogo a hug at the door … and Firsttogo yells up the stairs to her brothers who yell back “bye, see you at Thanksgiving” … quite a change from last year!</p>
<p>Ours was a Saturday and both youngers were still on summer break and both wanted to be no where else but with D1 launching (all very close). Then youngest, 13 year old S, was invited to the beach leaving the same day and had a hard time deciding but D1 told him it would be fine and she’d see him soon (they are the closest of my 3) - so he spent time with her the day before they both left. D2 did make the trip and dind’t balk at waking up at 5AM ( so NOT like D2, LOL!) to hit the road and was a big help carrying and helping on move-in. She was the one who did burst out in tears at leaving her big sister but I think it helped both D2 and D1 that she came. Had D2 not gotten as hot and tired as we did on the drive, move-in, drive home I think the transition would have been harder and for D1 she liked having her D2 admire her new room and joke about staying with her. I think though it depends on your family and the student launching and there is no right or wrong answer.</p>
<p>3togo that’s really funny! We still haven’t decided. S’s roommate won’t be there the first day so the room won’t be crowded if we do all go. I asked S if the sibs should come and he said the more the merrier (well he actually said something more like “That’s chill.”) School started yesterday for the sibs and had the usual dramatic flair. Unloved courses and teachers. Unrealistic reading and homework expectations. bla bla bla. I’m still waiting till the 13th to decide who gets to see off the King.</p>
<p>My only criteria would be are the younger ones capable of actually carrying things from the car to the room? No, I wouldn’t take them out of school. But an 18 year old will gladly volunteer their 50-60 year old parents to to do much of the carrying. A couple small pack mules can come in handy. Then the young ones retreat to the study lounge with Dad while student and Mom debate, sort of, where things should go. Dad needs to stay close for when the cable TV or ethernet cable isn’t long enough or the desk or dresser isn’t in the right place.</p>
<p>Tuesday has come and gone, so I am chiming in late. Also haven’t read all 4 pages yet…</p>
<p>My (perhaps redundant) opinion: since he will be only 2 hours away, there will be other opportunities for the sibs to visit and see where the new college student is living. Leave the sibs at high school unless your son expressly wants them to come along.</p>
<p>I would think that the 16 year old would want to go…and with that said it would be hard to leave the 12 year old home. All of my kids went to each others move in day. My sons who were away at college came up for the move in day of their sister. They were also a great source of comfort and help to her that day.</p>
<p>Okay so now, my dad wants to take my younger brother and my cousin who’s visiting from California to come with us, in case we need their help hauling things in.
If they come, we then have to take my 7 year old sister because my other sister is working and no one can watch her. I told him that we will be fine, that that was too many people, that we won’t have enough space in the car, and he got mad. Ughhh.
Now I’m e-mailing some staff at my college to see how much help is available on move-in day so I can tell my dad to leave them at home. Let’s hope I can persuade him that it will be okay without them.</p>
<p>Writer1992, that sounds very crowded. Yes, check with the school (is there a forum for you school on CC?) to see it there will be help on move in day. You might also want to mention that your dorm room will be small (will it?) and that your room mate and the room mate’s parents will be there.
When we moved our son in, there wasn’t room for the 2 boys and both sets of parents in the room along with the yet-unpacked suitcases and boxes. The dads carried what the eager sophomore helpers did not and then got out of the way. I can’t imagine juggling sister, brother, and cousin. Someone is going to feel left out, put-upon or worse.</p>
<p>Yes mafool it will be very small (triple!) but I have a suite so there’s extra room outside of my room.
Okay so my dad came home today and said that yes, little brother was going to go. I thought this meant cousin + lil sis too so I didn’t say anything. I felt like crying though. High emotions + no sleep = no bueno. So I went upstairs to my room and sulked around a bit then decided, you know what? If bringing extra sets of hands helps make my dad feel more comfortable, than so be it. He has never experienced this ‘college thing’ before and it was only one day so I might as well just go with the flow. When I came down, he told me that no, only little brother was going (well, not so little, he’s 14 and taller than me!), little sis was sleeping over a cousin’s house and cousin was going to stay here. So, everything worked out in the end, after I stopped caring.
Thanks for the advice though guys. :)</p>
<p>Seriously - this is something we never even discussed. I think our son just assumed that his sister would go along to drop him off. After all, they’re family!</p>
Let’s hope I can persuade him that it will be okay without them.</p>
High emotions + no sleep = no bueno. So I went upstairs to my room and sulked around a bit then decided, you know what? If bringing extra sets of hands helps make my dad feel more comfortable, than so be it. He has never experienced this ‘college thing’ before and it was only one day so I might as well just go with the flow. When I came down, he told me that no, only little brother was going (well, not so little, he’s 14 and taller than me!), little sis was sleeping over a cousin’s house and cousin was going to stay here. So, everything worked out in the end, after I stopped caring. 