<p>I know this is not the right forum to post this in but I believe I will get more relevant feedback from here rather than the essay forum.</p>
<p>I'm a Vietnamese applicant. And in my Common App essay (prompt of my choice) there was a paragraph in which I expressed admiration to my parents - Vietcong medics during the war - for their perseverance in their education (medic training) despite all the onslaught from the other side. Do you think that this is too controversial although the main point is to highlight their positive traits? And please note that this is only one paragraph in the essay and the whole essay does not talk exclusively about the war or my parents (it's about chemistry actually.)</p>
<p>One of my friends suggested me to strike it off and replace with a tamer story. This really concerns me as the Common App is one-for-all and I think you all know how hard it is for intl students to be admitted in US schools. I would really appreciate your feedback. I will PM the essay to those who want to take a look at it.</p>
<p>Yes my essay talks about my passion for chemistry. The stuff about my parents is to demonstrate that although some of the experiments that I am doing for my chemistry science project are quite laborious and boring, it is nothing compared to the same stuff that they did during a much more precarious time. Therefore, I have learned some lesson about humility and diligence and to appreciate what I have. This is one of the two main points in my essay.</p>
<p>The thing is I’m not sure if it raises some subconscious red flag to the adcom people and it could prove a bit risky. </p>
<p>This is the only sentence that I’m talking about the war</p>
<p>“But unlike me, they did not need to imagine any combat scenario to stay awake: the hovering B-52 air-crafts were carpet-bombing mercilessly over cratered lands, tanks were rampaging the streets, and tones of toxic Agent Orange defoliant were casting many a mournful sunset across southern Vietnam. Yet, they ploughed on, went back to finish their college education and have since moved on to wonderful accomplishments in their careers.”</p>
<p>My opinion of whether it would hurt or help is that it would probably not hurt, and possibly even help. However, you could mention their perseverance in a war situation without the nasty connotation about the US, although I suspect your typical Ivy League adcom might be enchanted by criticisms of US policy.</p>
<p>If it were me, I’d be wondering why you’d want to come to school in this horrible country when you could attend a university in Ho Chi Minh’s utopia. Truth is, a lot of my friends and colleagues, especially those in Orange County of California, fled that very regime.</p>
<p>Don’t mean to be controversial myself, but you brought it up.</p>
<p>As bovertine has demonstrated, there are many Americans who are offended by any slightest hint of a criticism of the US, but I doubt many of them are college admissions staffers, who must encounter a wide range of points of view in the essays they read and couldn’t do their jobs properly without a relatively broad-minded and empathetic attitude. What kinds of schools are you applying to?</p>
<p>I’d have somebody look this over for colloquial English. I think it should be “B52 aircraft” not “aircrafts” and “rampaging in the streets” not “rampaging the streets.”</p>
<p>Great post, Mr. Broad-minded. Apparently you get offended by anybody expressing an opinion contrary to yours, and respond with a ridiculously condescending pile of drivel. This belongs in the political thread because frankly, this commentary on US foreign policy has absolutely nothing to do with a passion for chemistry.</p>
<p>Bovertine, I’m offended, deeply, by the tone of your post. You apparently take the stance that our country is perfect in every way and can do no wrong. If there is a nasty connotation, it’s only in your perspective. Facts are facts, and if you as an American cannot face the fact of what we as a nation did and continue to do to people around the world, don’t blame others who suffered and then comment about the impact of our actions. </p>
<p>To mcph, please do include this comment in your essay. It’s been 40 years, and what we as Americans feel is a great deal of guilt over what occurred. As a Vietnamese citizen, you have much to be proud of, and having visited only recently, I am aware that your parents and grandparents displayed remarkable resiliency and courage. There continues to be a lot of ignorance in this country about what Vietnam now is and wants to become, and you and your people have made tremendous strides. The thing I loved the most about your people was the happiness and lack of resentment I saw everywhere. Most amazing is how the Vietnamese have found a way to forgive former enemies. But please, before you submit, have someone check your grammar and spelling. Good luck.</p>
I can face the facts about what we did. Obviously, you feel only the US behaved poorly in Southeast Asia.</p>
<p>If you cannot face the truth about what the Vietnamese communist government also did to its own citizenry, perhaps you should talk to the thousands of expats here in Huntington Beach and elsewhere and find out their attitude about the government of their country. </p>
<p>The opinions on here are tiresome and typical, so I’m done.</p>
Classy, intellectual, and broadminded, all rolled into two words.
By the way, perhaps you should get an English dictionary. I said I was done arguing about the issue, I didn’t say I was going anywhere. Which is what “Good Riddance” generally implies.</p>
<p>^^too bad, this has gotten off topic and your comments are not appreciated by anyone on this thread.</p>
<p>What you observe from others says just as much about yourself as it does them.</p>
<p>Learning to persevere thru adversity and illustrating that with stories from your own life, can show the admission committee that you will be able to take advantage of opportunitiesin college.</p>
<p>I hope you’re done arguing about the Vietnam War. If not, please take your argument to the Politics and Election site. It does not belong here. A prospective applicant asked a perfectly legitimate question. We should focus on advice not on re-fighting the war.</p>
<p>Vietnam is sending thousands of students to the US. I read recently that according to the World Bank, it is now in the top ten countries sending students to the US. So it looks like there is no prejudice among adcoms against Vietnamese students.
I think the short paragraph about the parents’ war experience is fine (I did not read it carefully for grammar and syntax).</p>
<p>“But unlike me, they did not need to imagine any combat scenario to stay awake: the hovering B-52 air-crafts were carpet-bombing mercilessly over cratered lands, tanks were rampaging the streets, and tones of toxic Agent Orange defoliant were casting many a mournful sunset across southern Vietnam. Yet, they ploughed on, went back to finish their college education and have since moved on to wonderful accomplishments in their careers.”</p>
<p>I think this thread shows you that some people might find this passage critical of the United States. You could probably fix that with some word choice–for example, replace “mercilessly” with something less loaded. Your point is that your parents persevered despite a war raging around them–this can be worded to emphasize that, and not who was waging the war. Also, B-52s don’t hover. They are airplanes.</p>