Should i talk about this in my essay also?

College Essays
1

<p>I founded an NGO in my Junior year. Now its spread in 7 states of India. We educate people on 'Right to Information ACT' and how it could be used to fight corruption. In the last two years we have helped around 2000 people ranging from US educated doctors(millionaires) to poor farmers who were refused electricity connection bcoz of their inability to pay bribes.</p>

<p>I am
1) Sending Testimonials of people i have helped
2) Few pages from our website
3) A letter form a Magsaysay award winner praising our work.</p>

<p>Should i talk about this in my essay also? I guess it will look very superficial(like i am acting because i am awful writer) if i do.</p>

2

<p>No, it'll sound like bragging. You are never supposed to talk about your achievements in your essay.</p>

3

<p>Well, you could use it as a theme, but do NOT say anything about what you did / accomplished in your extracurriculars and such. For example, my essay is about music, but it mentions NOTHING in terms of my musical involvement, performance, etc. The EC/awards spaces are there for a reason...one of my friends frequently used leadership positions and etc. to make the essay sound good. I'm really worried about her.</p>

<p>BAD: "As the [leadership position] of [club/organization] I ....blahblahblah"
Schools don't need to read the rest of that opening to know what the essay will be about. Even if the rest of the essay is good, the opening kills the mood.</p>

4

<p>Don't talk about what you accomplished? That's the whole point of the essays. To tell them about what you've accomplished and to give them another way to get to know you. You can talk about what you did but don't just put your list of EC's into paragraph form.</p>

5

<p>Exactly, i was also wondering about that!</p>

6

<p>Yea sorry for not being clear--STRAWBeRRYred89 is correct, listing everything you did (like... </p>

<p>I was the pres. of x and it taught me this and this and that. it has affected me like this and that. because of this, that and this and that. </p>

<p>I was also in the varsity ping-pong team. this and that and this and that </p>

<p>^^^^^^^
That's BAD. Focus on the one that is most important, and after you're done, read it as if you were the admission officer, who has probably read 6,000 essays before yours. The key is getting their attention and I'm sure that with your credentials you can do that.</p>