should i tell colleges about this??

Parents Forum
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<p>ordinarylives-</p>

<p>Not sure what you mean when you say that, “Universities can’t consider disabilities when making admissions decisions. They can’ teen ask about them, so you will have raised no issues that demand an explanation.” While they may not ask about disabilities specifically, they do ask if there are any circumstances you might want to share, or any reasons your grades or test scores do not accurately represent your ability. Additionally, though I do not know about private colleges, I can attest to the fact that the University of California system does look at disability, and often considers achievement in spite of disability to be a positive.</p>

<p>To the OP-

  1. Regarding your essay, I would not make your illness the focus of your main essay. Instead, focus on some aspect of your life that demonstrates your readiness for college, passion for learning, etc. You do not need, however, to completely avoid the topic. You can use the “additional information” essay prompt to write a short note explaining that you hit a bump in your academic road when you suffered from an illness for which you have received treatment, and that your current performance is more indicative of your ability. You might include what you learned from the experience regarding how to make a comeback after a serious setback. This would help demonstrate that you are prepared, should you face similar challenges in college. A mention from your guidance counselor on your counselor’s recommendation can back this up.</p>

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<li>I get that you want to go far away for college. It’s even possible that pressure from your parents has a negative impact on your mental health. At the same time, it is early in your treatment, and you are having issues with your meds. It is, therefor, unclear if going away is the best option for you. Those who counsel you to stay close to home or commute are offering potentially good advice. Still, you don’t need to commit to a school for another five months, and school will not start for another eight+ months. You may, during this time, get your meds and treatment sorted out. Or not.</li>
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<p>My advice to you is to have two lists of schools. One list of distant schools, and another list of schools that are closer to home. On the latter list, be sure to include at least one school that is certain to admit you, and close enough to allow you to commute. The latter list can also include schools that are far enough away to prevent your parents from dropping in on the regular, but the schools should be close enough that they can get to you in a reasonable drive (say two to four hours). Be certain that the schools that are close by are ones you can be happy at, so that you have good options, should your mental health issues remain unsettled. This will allow you to make the decision about going away later on, once you know more about your needs. Additionally, I would ask your doctor and therapist whether they think that you are ready to go far away for school. If they sign off on the idea with no misgivings, you’ll probably be okay.</p>

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<p>I think OCD, like other mental illnesses, can really start to manifest themselves during late high school and early college. My best friend growing up had this happen to her. She went to the state school (not so far away) but she had picked a challenging major (pharmacy) and that was quickly too much for her. </p>

<p>At home, over time, you have found some rituals that help you cope. Your family probably helped you a bit with this. Now you are goign to a completely new environment. You may have to share a room. People will not be as accomodating. You will have to be the one going to class…no mom making sure you get to class on time. </p>

<p>Set yourself up for success. Have a support network. Stay on your meds. Keep goign to the same doctor if they are a good fit for you. </p>

<p>Be careful reading CC here…it tends to attract the people who are super competitive. Going far away and to a stressful school won’t help you inthe long run.</p>

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<p>Clementines: Best of luck to you. Agree that the best approach is to denote an illness in your junior year, without specifics. </p>

<p>There are many kids that have some mental health challenges that are successful in college - even a highly competitive college far from home. I hope you are one of them and believe you can be.</p>

<p>However, it is really important to be sure you have the appropriate supports in place. If that is medication, then find one that (to the extent possible) deals with your issue without too many side effects. Remember, though, nothing is perfect. There may be side effects, but think of the impact on your life of not being on your meds - they may be much more significant. Many parents and kids are reluctant for the kid to be on meds, but in many cases these are critical to success. Be sure your doctors are on board with a trial of going off your meds and that you know what to do if your symptoms kick in. </p>

<p>Good luck and all the best to you.</p>

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<p>What I mean is that a student does not have to disclose a disability. If the student wants to explain the C grades, he or she can say “a health issue.” Look, universities are great, welcoming places. And while they can’t reject you on the basis of a disability, I’m not sure that selective schools, which may reject large numbers of students, can’t find a way to reject someone who admits to hearing voices. It’s a gamble. Will there be a sympathetic reader who says, “Wow, look at what this student has overcome!” or a more cautious reader who thinks, “Hasn’t been in treatment all that long, hears voices . … maybe not.” And, of course, you will never know exactly the reason for rejection. So, I’m going to say, as someone who might err on the side of caution when the stakes are high, I would probably select another topic for my essay.</p>

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<p>okay seriously, if you’re just going to post about my illness, then don’t. i realize you’re all trying to be helpful, and everything i said may lead people to believe i’m unable to like function normally, but i promise that i’m extremely high functioning. it’s mostlu the depression that got me. i already told my therapist and doctor that i don’t want to take medication anymore, and i’ve been off for almost a month. i’m doing better than when i was on it, honestly. </p>

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<p>this is what really makes me think people are getting the wrong idea. what would my roommate have to accommodate to? if i never told you i suffered from mental illness, you would never guess it (i know this because everyone in my life, unless i’ve told otherwise, has no clue that i have these issues). </p>

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<p>it’s not wishful thinking, if i’ve been off my meds for a month, and the voices are extremely rare anymore. my doctor even said they were never “real voices.” they’re more like self judgment. but like i said, it’s basically a nonissue anymore. </p>

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<p>okay, really? if i’m off my meds, and i’m doing better than before, clearly i’m ready to make some changes. it’s not like i stopped going to therapy. </p>

<p>i know you’re all trying to be nice, but it’s coming off as really offensive. you don’t know my life, and i’m capable of being productive/normal. it’s just how i’m feeling interally. i know basically everything there is to know about my mental illness. i mean, obviously- what would you expect? that i just don’t care and say “oh screw therapy and meds and i’m just gonna act like everything’s okay!!!” don’t make judgements about me based on my age. like any other cliches you wanna throw at me? so yeah, this is making me kinda upset, and i’d appreciate if people stopped commenting about what’s “good” for me, because none of you have any idea about how i am in real life.</p>

<p>i’m going far away to college, and that’s that. i’ve already stopped medication, and i’m still in therapy. i want to go to a competitive college, because i love school, and that’s where i belong. there’s no reason to stigmatize me, and i know my life better than anonymous people over the internet do. you act as if i’m completely uninformed about my own illness. </p>

<p>thanks to the people who actually answered my question.</p>

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<p>Clementine, this probably isn’t going to do any good, but one thing you need to remember is that a person with a mental illness often THINKS they are doing fine when they are not. And one month off meds is a very short time to use as a test for whether moving far away to a high pressure college situation is going to work out. Sikorski is right that you should discuss your plan with your therapist and doctor.</p>

<p>Just as an aside, a lot of those “high pressure” colleges aren’t all they are cracked up to be anyway; one of my kids attended and excelled at a 2nd tier LAC and has readily achieved her goals after graduation – the other turned down two reputed pressure cookers that seemed to have minimal supports in place (Darwinian would be a good description) for a school that is rigorous BUT supportive of kids with disabilities.</p>

<p>You did come out here and ask about this topic. And it is hard for us to give advice on this without knowing the current status of your issue, because part of the “message” to the college if you choose any disclosure (even generic disclosure through your GC) is whether the issue is solidly under control or “fixed”. Hence the questions and follow up posts on that topic. My take based on your posts is that you have far too short a time “off meds” to be able to tell how well controlled your issue is, and likely your living situation is nothing like what it would be at a harder college. The voices may be “extremely rare”, but the rest of us do not have ANY voices. If they are still there at all, there is certainly a chance they could ramp up again under stress.</p>

<p>I know you don’t want the advice you are getting out here, but we do care about your success and health – you want to choose a path that leads to both, and a high risk/high wire path will make this harder. By the way, my comments have nothing to do with your age. If you were 40 and having this issue, my advice would be similar (except we would probably be talking about taking a high stress job in a city far from family/friends, not going to college). But other than that it would be word for word.</p>