Should I transfer?

First of all, I didn’t actually have a choice in which school I now go to. My mother specifically got a job at this university so I would get free tuition here so unless I got into another college that would somehow give me even more of a free ride, this school was where I was going to go. The school is a fairly large, public research university and was never my first choice when I imagined what school I would go to. To make matters more complicated, during my freshman introduction week, I fell out of my top bunk while sleeping (so embarrassing) and woke up in the emergency room with a fractured clavicle, wrist, and a concussion. Obviously, I didn’t stay in for the rest of the semester, and opted to go home and heal because I couldn’t write with either hand. I came back for the spring semester, and throughout the entire semester, I was lost.

My roommate was a sophomore and already had her own group of friends. The few friends I had from high school at my college also had their own groups and it seemed to me that I missed my chance to get to know anyone in my class. I had never felt so alone in my life, and I went through several bouts of severe depression and apathy. I went home almost every weekend, and seriously debated just commuting considering I only live about 10 minutes from campus. This wasn’t the college experience I was looking forward to, and it really warped how I felt about the school as a whole. Another part of how I feel about my school is that I honestly didn’t like the vibe or the general community it attracted. My family doesn’t have a lot of money, and I’ve always loved to read and I genuinely enjoy classes. The community I’ve been exposed to so far is not an academically inclined one; my own professor blatantly stated that hardly anyone in the school chooses it for the academics, most choose it for the reputation and location (I live in a very liberal part of the northeast where skiing, snowboarding, and pot are very popular and lots of rich out-of-state kids come here). I don’t enjoy partying very much, and I want to go to a school that actually cares about their classes, not about how hammered they’re going to get tonight.

I’m now back at school, which I had been dreading all summer long, in a new living community (we do various activities for charity together) which is going okay so far. All the girls I live with are very nice, but they also have their own groups of friends and enjoy most of the popular things I mentioned before. I’ve so far decided to wait it out this year, and complete one more year so I’ll technically be a 2nd semester sophomore by the end of next semester (I consider myself a 2nd semester freshman now). I guess the reason I’m posting this is to get some advice on what I should do. Most people would kill to have free tuition, and I feel so guilty that I’m secretly not that grateful that I do (my mom did this just for me and I have never mentioned or let her know that I’m unhappy here because of that). My general question is whether I should transfer or not. As I’ve already mentioned, I would have never picked this school for myself and I would honestly rather go to a smaller school that is more academically inclined. If I still really don’t like it after this year, I honestly have no idea what to do. Should I risk it and take loans to go to a different school? Should I just commute because I don’t really like the community here and make friends some other way (through a job, etc.)? I’d also like to eventually go to grad school, so should I just stick it out until I graduate, and then choose the grad school I want? I didn’t mean for this post to be so long, but I honestly don’t know what to do or who to talk to. Any advice is seriously appreciated.

You’re in a really tough spot, especially with your injury your first year :. If I were you, I would start commuting and start looking at your school’s clubs.

You say you go to a fairly large school, so it should have a great many clubs. Try to join a club relating to your major if you’re looking for more academically inclined students. If you like math, see if your school has an MAA chapter, for example. Furthermore, feel free to examine clubs relevant to your cursory interest like book clubs, perhaps LGBT clubs, or even some video game club.

If you deeply enjoy volunteerism, your school almost certainly provides opportunities for students to get together to do volunteer work, aside from your living community. Perhaps you will meet friends there.

Should you still be unable to meet people you like, speak with your mother about transferring. Very carefully consider your options before making a decision. If you have your heart set on transferring, try as hard as you can this year to obtain scholarship opportunities. Speak to the financial aid departments of your school(s) of interest.

Best of luck!

Dialog-
Thank you for responding and understanding the bind I’ve found myself in. Commuting has sounded more appealing to me, and I’m going to have a conversation with my mom about commuting as well after this semester. I have been looking at more affordable schools but at this point I’m not sure that it’s worth taking out loans when I could graduate loan-free from my current school. I’m going to have to see how this semester goes first before I decide what to do, because my school won’t give my parents a refund for my housing fee, but I guess we’ll see! Thanks again!

Definitely stay this year and do your best academically. I am pretty sure that not ALL the students at this large public university are as shallow as you mentioned in your initial post. Your job is to find those who aren’t and get involved in those kinds of activities. Nevertheless, it is important for you to level with your parents and have an open discussion about how things are going. You will get a better idea of what options are open to you and maybe they have some suggestions which could help you get through they year and possibly beyond.