I’m with @happymomof1 all the way 
LOL
I was involved as a partner with both kids through the process but I left the opening of envelopes/checking of websites to them.
Ha! My kids asked me what their SAT scores were - they’re both just pretty chill B-)
Neither can ever remember what they were when asked or forced to fill them in on a form. DS texted me from his remote audition site asking what they were again so he could fill out the profile form.
My D is an over-sharer. I get updates from her on things I didn’t even know I needed updates about. She will probably make me promise not to even open the mailbox next year when applications are out.
I think the more important thing is – parent / child should be on the same page on this issue. There are some family dynamics (not mine) where a child might be comfortable and fine with a parent doing so. If that dyad is happy, I’m happy.
One son asked us to check his portal for him. Decisions came out the day of the state indoor track championship. He couldn’t wait til he got home to check, and (long story) we were home and not at the meet. We told him the results over the phone. He had gotten into his top choice, and his team won the state championship. It was a great night! He’s graduating from that university this May.
I have never opened an envelope or logged into a portal (I don’t think I even knew the password). However, I did tell ds1 that on the day his first-choice school’s envelope was expected to arrive in the mail that I would let him get the mail. But I didn’t tell him that I wouldn’t look in the mailbox to see the size of the letter!!! Such relief!!! lol
Boarding school admissions is for 14 year olds. College admissions is for legal adults.
@saintfan: I am laughing at your posts because your kids sound like my ADHD kid. He never can remember his SAT scores and has to be reminded to check the e-mail acct. he set up for colleges and his portals. Thank heavens for the big fat packet acceptance envelopes that say things like “WOO” and “YES” in bold graphics on the outside. Not only do they keep me from being tempted to hold his mail up to the light, they also keep him from potentially throwing them out as junk mail college brochure flyers (which have been flooding our mailbox for two years). One e-mail this week came to all of us, inviting us to visiting days scheduled for admitted students and their parents. But because he hadn’t checked either his e-mail or his portal for a week, none of us had even known he was accepted! But I do not have his portal passwords or open his mail. That’s his job, even if he needs nudging to get around to it….
I would never, ever check my kids’ admissions before they could, unless they specifically asked me to…
But “allowed”??? By whom???
I am glad as this whole thing winds down that I can finally free up brain space for other things - as can he. Every deposit paid, form completed and plane ticket purchased is one less item to keep track of. Now it’s on to coping with all the graduation stuff 
I would have had NO CLUE how to log onto ds’s e-mail, any portals, anything like that at all. I would say I was pretty middle of the road with regard to engagement - at least by CC standards. I definitely navigated deadlines for merit-based awards. It was just too important for ds to miss something that was worth tens of thousands of dollars. However, once he had applied to and had been accepted at his three safeties where he was going to receive the most merit money (we did not qualify for need-based aid), I told him he could do what he wanted in terms of the remainder of his applications. He was accepted to colleges where he could attend at a good price - beyond that, it was up to him. I did things when asked. When he received a big envelope from one school, I texted him, and he asked me to open it. When he received a small envelope from one school (all their decisions are small envelopes), he did not want me to open it (wound up also being an acceptance). I was usually nearby (in the house) when he was checking portals, but not always. However, he always texted me decision results as soon as he knew them if he wasn’t home when he found out. I would NEVER open anyone else’s mail without permission. Not even dh’s. I did know how to log onto his college board and ACT accounts, but I only did that when I wanted to see results earlier than he did and when he said it was okay if I did. I mean, how else could I have made the pancakes with the chocolate chips on arranged on them in the number of his ACT score for breakfast??? 
I was just telling dh today how the mail is boring now that we no longer have a kid applying to college. 
My son actually had me set up the portals and passwords because he was busy and wasn’t that interested. However, I wouldn’t check decisions unless it was okay with him. (And it almost always is.)
My daughter had me go thru the mail from colleges and only give her important stuff. She applied to Pitt over the summer and kept getting all of this junk mail asking her to apply ( like they didn’t even know she had). Late September came and I opened yet another in the millions of pieces of mail from them. And I was shocked to see a letter of admission. I had never planned to open her admission decision. But oh well…
@GMTplus7 that was hardly 3 years ago for me - I personally feel like I quite vividly remember what it was like to be 14, and I don’t feel as if there was a big change in my maturity, or ability to handle responsibility from then to now - however I’m 100% biased lol. But I’m 17 now, and although it has not happened yet, I am confident that if given the opportunity, my dad would open one of my college decisions without asking me first.
@bkjmom - almost as soon as my editing window past, I realized I would have preferred to omit the “allowed”. My question was more should parents do it, or not - why?
Parents should not do it unless their kid wants then to and has asked them to on a general purpose basis or for a specific time because the kid is away and wants to know NOW.
Like others, I always asked. Always. Whether it was an envelope or with the last kiddo on-line, sometimes the kids told me to open and tell them right away…other times they told me they wanted to open the message and find out.The kids always gave me their admission portal ulser name and password because they abdicated keeping track of the financial aid deadlines so I had the ability to open an on-line admissions decision just as I had the ability to open something snail mail. I think it’s OK if you ask and get permission. Not OK without permission.
Well, with $$ being such a huge issue, “I” directed them to the schools they could reasonably afford and be accepted , so “acceptance” letters weren’t a big deal, just a confirmation. Dream schools were never in their thought process.
AND, they have little interest in all the “junk” that colleges send.
So basically, I open everything and then let them know if it’s important.
There never really any “permission” discussion, it just evolved.
I don’t open her envelopes unless it’s an envelope just from financial aid - she applied to a bunch of rolling admission places and so she got several acceptances with no financial aid info, but when she got an envelope with the acceptance and financial aid together, she just hands me the financial aid sheet, so she just gave me the go-ahead to open anything from financial aid.
I don’t know her passwords for schools that have portals.
@Hoggirl Pancakes with chocolate chips for the ACT score. Very cute!