<p>Should parents pay for their children's education if they have the money available? To me, I wouldn't want my children taking out loans if I had the money. I wouldn't want them to have to pay back the money for the next 20 or so years. I would give out the money in a heartbeat.</p>
<p>It's a trade-off. If someone had to cash in their retirement savings to pay for college, I would say no. If it could come out of regular earnings or a special fund set aside for education, absolutely. I would rather see my kids go to a state school and take out modest student loans than have WashMom and I working at Wal-Mart as greeters when we are 83 because we can't afford to retire.</p>
<p>I recommend that everyone who says "this is what I will do when I am an adult" keep a notebook in which they write down such pronouncements. The notebook will be good for a few laughs a couple of decades down the road.</p>
<p>What does it mean "to have the money available"? The money that looks so available to a high school student may in fact be waiting around for Grandma's nursing home needs, or the parents' retirement necessities (people live a long time now). </p>
<p>Personally, I would do everything in my power to prevent my children from taking out a crippling level of loans. However, it they choose to attend a college that costs more than we can pay without endangering our future or our moral obligations to our parents, I expect them to share a bit of the burden. My college son made the choice to attend the very excellent university that offered him a large merit award. If he had chosen one of the schools that left us paying all costs, he would have been expected to come up with a share of the $$$. </p>
<p>If you really abhor the idea of finishing college with a loan burden (I don't blame you), then choose a school that leaves you with no loan burden, as my son did.</p>
<p>P.S. This same discussion is going on in another thread.</p>
<p>Should parents pay if they have the money? Well...in my opinion, that is THEIR decision.</p>
<p>In my opinion, yes.</p>
<p>My parents had enough money to send my sister and me to college, allowing us to finish our undergraduate degrees with no debts. We had a much easier time establishing our lives as young adults because we did not have the burden of debt that many of our friends faced. In my opinion, this was the single best thing that our parents ever did for us (and my parents knew that I felt that way -- fortunately, I told them before they died).</p>
<p>As it happens, my husband and I also have enough money to allow us to pay for our two children's undergraduate education. They, too, will finish college with no debts. I'm glad we were able to pass down this advantage to the next generation.</p>
<p>I agree with thumper and washdad. I do think that parents need to believe that they will be secure as seniors. They should not have to worry about eating rice and beans and worry about how to pay for their winter heat, etc. We will sacrifice future European/Caribbean vacations to pay college expenses to the utmost that we can afford. Many will not sacrifice those, and feel that they worked hard and deserve it. Seniors do need to know that if their roof leaks, or they need a new furnace that they will have the savings to pay those expenses out of pocket. If they rent, they need to know that they can cover future rent increases, and so on. There is a line that most people with foresight just cannot cross unless they have a lot of assets. My FIL worked until he was 81 years old, and it wasn't fun. He worked because he had to in order to maintain his lifestyle, which was pretty middle class, BTW. He received some assistance from a couple of family members. Had his wealthiest child paid his mortgage, and property taxes he would not have had to work. That child did not do that for him. We helped where we could, and frankly that is money that could have been put away for own retirement, or for our children's college tuition. We acted with our hearts, rather than with our heads. So, you know that some people are gifted money from grandparents for college or a downpayment on a home, well that definitely is not our situation.</p>
<p>Don't have kids if you're not willing to pay for their education.</p>
<p>My parents paid for my college so I'd feel guilty if I didn't pay for my kids. Husband's family paid most of the bill. We paid his (small) loan off in a lump sum shortly after we got married, because we got tired of writing checks. That said I don't think parents should borrow on their retirements or go hugely into debt. It's all about what you can afford.</p>
<p>IMO, the level of support a parent gives for college is a personal decision driven by multiple factors - the biggest one being ability to pay. But that's a very subjective factor. Parent 1 may have a relatively moderate income but is in a job that carries a pension. parent 2 might make a healthy salary but is in a job that requires independent saving for retirement (a big burden). Parent 1 might actually find it easier to pay for college.<br>
And what does "paying for education" mean? Is that 200K for four years? Or up to the level of tuition/room/board at state U? BIG difference.
I got some help from my parents for my education but I also worked and took small loans. I felt like I had some "skin in the game" and that was a good thing.
For our one son, he decided to go to the honors program at his State U, with multiple scholarships. This costs less than what we saved, so we're returning the balance to him after he graduates for grad school or getting a start on his life. If he chose an expensive private, he would have been asked to contribute a small amount from his savings. And of course, he'd have nothing at the end of four years. I can't see blindly paying whatever it costs....unless our money situation was great and our retirement savings were already set. Who is in that situation??</p>
<p>
[quote]
.unless our money situation was great and our retirement savings were already set. Who is in that situation??
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Well, reading cc I have come to the realization that quite a few people ARE in that situation, due to family trusts, inheritances, and in some cases, extremely good foresight about saving at a far greater rate than the rate of inflation.</p>
<p>For the vast majority of us, though, it is not as simple as "paying for their education". There are a lot of factors to consider, including the quality of the state publics, the character of the student, the academic abilities of the student, the age of the parents, the financial situation of the grandparents, the number of younger siblings, etc etc. It is understandable that teenagers do not realize that life is actually pretty complicated, but I certainly do see a heck of a lot of sense of entitlement on these boards recently.</p>
<p>"Should" parents pay to educate their children? I would say yes, they "should" do what they can. Once you get beyond that, all is open to debate.</p>
<p>According to financial planners, a parents' first priority should be their own retirement. Children can get loans, if needed. If your parents are able to pay for your college education, you are in the minority, and should consider yourself very lucky. Having said this, I must admit that my children "expect" that we'll pay for everything. A little gratitude would be nice!</p>
<p>I'll preface this by saying I'm sure some will disagree with me, but--hey, that's what makes the world go 'round! I clearly realize everybody has to make their own choices...
What is upsetting to me is that there are lots of parents who have several kids, live in the upscale neighborhoods, drive fancy cars and take extravagant trips, etc. and manage to get financial aid for their kid's education! Others take a more practical approach by having only one or two kids (because they couldn't afford to educate any more!), live in more modest homes, drive older vehicles, take a pass on nice trips and save like crazy for their kid's education. The result: same income as the other family, but second family receives no financial aid because they've been responsible and prudent when making lifestyle, saving etc. choices! I certainly don't begrudge legitimate financial aid to the truly needy; but the first group doesn't qualify IMOP!</p>
<p>It is up to the parents. The financial aid system does not take into account future events for which families should prepare.</p>
<p>I agree cpt.
Getting the kids to 18, fed, clothed and educated is a parents responsibility.
There is nothing engraved in stone that says a college education is a requirement for an involved & informed life, and even less stating that it is a parents job to provide that for their adult children.</p>
<p>My personal, sorry but I just feel this way, opinion is yes, they should.</p>
<p>My mom sacrificed to put me through school. She was a widow of limited means, and we did not get much aid. But she made it work. I'll never forget that, and making it easier for my kids was a priority for me.</p>
<p>If they operate differently when they have kids, i'll be disappointed.</p>
<p>If I didn't (help) pay for college I guess my kids would get cashier jobs or something and live with me forever? I like them and all, but at some point that gets weird.</p>
<p>Should parents pay if they have the money?</p>
<p>I guess so, but most of us don't have tens of thousands of dollars lying around for which we have no other productive use. And does "paying for college" mean paying for ANY college? I know families that are willing to pay up to the cost of in-state tuition, only. </p>
<p>That's not the choice I would make (or the choice I have made), but it is the parents' choice.</p>
<p>I'm with garland. I starting planning for this the day my first was born. We scrimped and saved to pay off a large mortgage in 12 years. Both of us worked. Then, my husband's business tanked and some of that equity went into bailing it out. We had nothing left for college, but in a true Scarlet O'Hara moment I vowed, "As God is my witness, I'll pay for college." Or some such. (God isn't a part of my life.)</p>
<p>We've been extremely blessed. Both were accepted into exceptional need-blind, meet 100% of aid privates. We are just about able to make it work, with extra work (I am a college professor and adjunct extra courses -- $20,00 per year -- lots of paper grading!) and scrimping. No real vacations.</p>
<p>If things had not worked out this way, honors public I guess, or I would have been willing to down size and re-mortgage then if it had come to that. I really did feel this was my responsibility. And having raised the kids to expect they could choose their college (I had a plan after all) I really didn't want to back out and limit their choices.</p>
<p>As I said, extremely lucky, and I am grateful.</p>
<p>I think it depends on the definition of "having the money" as to whether the parents should pay. </p>
<p>Should my parents have given up the opportunity to buy a digital camera and a notebook computer this summer and fall in order to help me pay for school? </p>
<p>We had our kitchen and our living rooms redone a couple years ago. Oh, and our bathrooms too partially.</p>
<p>I guess they should have given that up in order to pay for school. </p>
<p>No, as much as I'd love for them to pay for my college education, I don't feel like they HAVE to. Even though with the scholarship that I currently have, they very easily could have. But they wouldn't have been able to pay for my sister's-- she didn't have the scholarship I have. </p>
<p>My dad could possibly retire in the next 6-8 years. I would hope he is doing something about his future. I'm 18 now-- it's time that I start planning MY future. They shouldn't be doing it for me. </p>
<p>And to whoever said that parents shouldn't have kids they can't educate.. wow. I could understand if you said that adults shouldn't have kids that they cannot provide food, shelter, or clothes for. I didn't realize that a college education was a "quality of life" issue.</p>
<p>A family that I admire has a policy of expecting each of their 4 children to contribute x amount of $$ every year while in college. This could be through part time or summer work, scholarship, loan. It is not an amount that will saddle them with unreasonable debt or prohibit them from attending school. It is an amount that will allow them to share in the ownership of their education.</p>