"IMHO. I consider kids education as an investment into my retirement. I expect my children to help me financially, when I will be old. "
I plan to be responsible enough that I can take care of my own retirement, thus enabling my children to live their lives, raise their families and pursue their dreams as they see fit, rather than cover for my own lack of planning. Their college tuition gift was just that, a gift. No expectation of payback. Yuck.
Yes we do this also. However, our hope is that our children will be decent people who will do this of their own volition as they see appropriate, not because it is ‘expected’ of them. In same way, we paid/will pay for their colleges (with no loans at a mutually acceptable schools) with no expectation of future payback. Our only expectation is that they will make good use of the opportunity we are providing them with. DS did and we trust DD will also.
They are not part of my retirement plan but I would hope that, if for some unforseen reason we the parents are in some sort of need, that they, out of love and decency, will pitch in in whatever form is needed.
Right. There’s a difference between “I would hope they wouldn’t let us live in cardboard boxes on the street should something unforeseen occur” and “I expect them to support me.” I’m fully able-bodied, you see, so I needn’t place a burden on my children. That’s not loving.
“I expect them to support me.” It is cultural. Parents are expected to take care of children, when they are young. Children are expected to take care of parents, when they are old.
Do you know that there are no retirement benefits in China? It is a disgrace for children NOT to take care of their parents.
And if you lived in China, you as grandparents would be living with the children and taking care of the grandchild (just one, most likely) in a tiny little house or apartment. You wouldn’t be living an American lifestyle with a car and your own home and perhaps a gym membership or nice club. You’d be doing the grocery shopping and making the meals while your child worked and your grandchild went to school.
Is that the kind of support you expect your children to provide to you, a room in their home and you’d be the housekeeper and cook?
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I truly hope to take care of many, many grandchildren 
I don’t want a huge, empty, cold house, gym membership, and a club with strangers Everyone has his/her own dreams.
BTW, my father is still working (mom passed away). He has a very decent salary. However, all children are paying him, monthly. In the end, his standard of living is higher than mine
Not only do I not “expect” my kids to financially support me when I’m old, I’m hoping there will be ample money left over in my estate after I’m gone to pass on to the kids and grandkids.
It’s one thing if bad things happen and life goes awry, but to plan in advance to be a financial burden on my kids? No, not doing that to them (or myself, for that matter).
Well, you have more than one child and those children can have more than one child each because you don’t live in China and don’t have the restrictions. It is not fair to expect what you’d have in China if you’ve relocated to the US and now live an American lifestyle with more costs, bigger homes, different living arrangements. Or at least you shouldn’t expect your children to pay you just because it is tradition. You’ve raised American kids.
I knew a guy who married a woman and it was her family’s ‘custom’ to support their mother. When they got divorced, the court didn’t consider this payment to the mother as a necessary expense and if the ex-wife wanted to continue it, it had to come out of her monthly support. That’s the American way.
Just because something is cultural doesn’t mean it’s healthy or acceptable.
Investing in a solid education for our daughter is a gift that we started building years ago.
And anyway, csliforniaa, you’re not Chinese. You’ve said you are Hispanic / originally from a Spanish-speaking country several times.
@GMTplus7 loving post #2!
I’ll go a step further: “… But it’s HYPSM!”
YES! Parents should pay for their children’s college, at least the tuition and room & board. You don’t want your child unemployed or working for minimum wage forever or strapped with excessive student loans because you didn’t finish your parenting job. And, if you couldn’t or didn’t save enough to pay for college, engage fully in research to find affordable colleges and scholarship opportunities for your child. Don’t leave your child on his/her own before he/she has the tools necessary to be financially independent. Unless there is a disability, mental illness or other issue, you don’t want your child to struggle or live in your basement forever because you didn’t help him/her attain a college education.
None of my four immigrant grandparents went to college, but they made 100% sure that their children and all of us grandchildren made college a #1 priority.
Do your kids and yourselves a favor! Help your kids go to the best college possible and figure out how to pay for it!
@MOMANDBOYSTWO I could not agree more! I put myself through college because I had no one to help me with anything. I worked a full time job and went to school full time at night. Did it built character? Yes. It also taught me that I didn’t want my child to go through that. I learned how to help her build character in other ways. Long before she was accepted to her top choice (The George Washington University), I knew I would go to the ends of the earth to give her the gift of a good education. While she will have some skin in the game, she earned a Presidential Academic Scholarship and University Honors admission. I do realize I’m in a different position than most because I’ll retire (God willing) with a government pension and full beneits in less than two years but I could say “well, I’m not dropping $70,000 a year on a child’s college education…I just leave her an inheritance”. No, my gift to her is an investment in her education today and her future tomorrow.
A college education is almost required now to get a good job. I am not thinking about my future. I am concerned about their futures. I want my sons to grow up and make a difference and be able to get a good job. I am an adult and I have put away money for my retirement. My kids are just starting out. My husband paid for his college tuition but these days, it is almost impossible to do this with the price of most colleges being so high. I am hopeful that they will appreciate the fact that we are helping pay for almost all of their college but they will have to work during the summers, get some small loans and put forth effort. If they get c’s and d’s and play video games each day instead of going to class then they will be on the hook for it all. (and most likely they will be back home going to community college)
In America it is nice if the adult children care for their parents but adult parents can hopefully arrange to not be a burden on their children unless through unforseen circumstances. With it becoming more difficult to retire with any strong pension benefits and most people one serious medical illness away from being wiped out financially (depending on coverage) this will become more and more difficult.