I’m an extremely shy person and have a hard time getting along with people. I saw that one of the skills to be a civil engineer is to have good leadership and communication skills. I’m afraid that my shyness will be a big obstacle for me to become successful or even get a job.
Is it possible to be successful when you’re shy?
Is there any jobs within civil engineering that doesn’t require a lot of social interaction?
Nobody wants to work with a person who does not talk much.
You need to conquer your shyness. You don’t have to be a person who likes to hang out with other people. But you need to be able to talk to your boss, your coworkers. Every engineering job is involved with meeting and exchanging ideas. Sometimes engineering jobs require traveling and talking to the customers. You will be criticized of having no communication skills and will not be promoted if you don’t talk much.
I used to be shy too. It’s not too difficult to overcome shyness if you try hard.
You may want to get help from a speech therapist or taking classes in communication.
Being shy will limit you in MANY careers and life opportunities.
Work to overcome it. Toastmasters or drama classes may help.
There are a lot of shy engineers. It may be that you get to college and “find your tribe” and thrive.
I have an adult friend who is an engineer. He did struggle to get a job upon graduating because of his shyness. My dad helped him get an interview and get hired at a friend’s company. He worked at that company for 30 years, but last year they laid off a large percentage of their staff, including him. He is now struggling again with interviews. I think he is really smart and a good engineer. But his shyness has really hurt him in his career. But I think it might have hurt him more in other fields; you need to be able to communicate in nearly every job I can think if. You need to really work at building those skills along with your engineering skills.
Engineers, as a group, are known for being introverted. If you’re just shy, you might not get invited for drinks or golf after work, and you might never get promoted to management, but you can still have a career. If you have a “hard time getting along with other people”, and your coworkers find you abrasive and obnoxious, then that will quickly get you fired in most jobs. If you’re on the autism spectrum, you might find it difficult to make it past the interview stage and get hired, anywhere. A lot depends on how severe your issues are.
Being shy is not a punishment for being success. First, you need to find a good psychologist or counseling master to help you with therapy sessions. Second of all, try find good books how to overcome your being shyness to be able to open up and open the line of communication. Third, use google or yahoo and find good articles how to overcome that thing and improve your communication and social skills. Don’t worry as long as the sun and moon are still there everyday and operating accordingly then there is always help. A good thing is you are able to acknowledge your shortcomings of being Shy. Therefore, there is a lot of help. May the Force be with you.
Introvert people are not shy.
Can we please not go down the shy/introverted rabbit hole that every single thread on this topic degenerates into? The OP has trouble taking to people. Help them with their problem. Stop splitting hairs.
^ That’s uncalled for. You have the right to ignore.
I am not a trained psychologist or Counseling master. But I would like to help people and my humble answers are as follows: First, you need to find a good psychologist or counseling master to help you with therapy sessions. Second of all, try find good books how to overcome your being shyness to be able to open up and open the line of communication. Third, use google or yahoo and find good articles how to overcome that thing and improve your communication and social skills. Sorry if my answers are not to your satisfaction.
Actually (and I do have a clinical social work/therapy background) the introversion/shyness issue is a pragmatic splitting of hairs…one does not really know how to direct a person without knowing specifics…is it a social anxiety issue or a personality preference in need of adaptation., or a bit of both? The approach will be very different depending…
If someone had a physical issue and presenting symptoms that could indicate two very different etiologies/treatments, we would not call it splitting hairs to differentiate.
I wouldn’t worry too much about lack of leadership skills/interest. Ability to communicate is important in engineering (and just about every field).
OP - Tell us more about your concerns about “social interaction”. You need to do a bit of that in almost every job (and in adult life tasks too). However you don’t need to be keen on big parties, endless small talk, greek life in college, etc.
If it was a physical issue, we would tell them to go see a professional and not try to get medical advice from a college focused internet forum.
True,@roethisburger but I am only using that example as a point of logic. Whether a person goes to a professional or not, with either physical or psycho-social issues has more to do with the degree of the problem. There are simple physical issues too …i.e., am I sneezing because I’m catching a cold, because there’s a lot of dust in the air, or because I’m allergic to the cat? However I decide to respond…whether with professional help or not… would still depend on what I think the underlying cause may be, and the response is different in each instance. I wouldn’t re-home the cat because I caught a cold.
Maybe OP is in need of professional help, maybe not. But OP asked here. But whether OP decides to go the homegrown self-help way (via reading books on the topic, introspection, developing new skill-sets through practice and new activities) or seeing a professional, it would help to know (in answering the question whether OP struggles more with a fear/anxiety of social humiliation; a lack of social skills (could be due to lack of exposure to life experiences or due to neurological differences); and/or a simple preference for quiet environments with limited social interaction. All these would impact OPs professional life decisions in very distinct ways. I don’t see how the question could be answered even casually on this college forum without knowing a bit more where OP is coming from.
@MaelstromMonkey I took drama in high school for 2 years but I had a hard time in the class because I was so shy that I didn’t talk with anyone in class. I felt so stupid because I didn’t know how to act. It help me overcome my shyness a little bit but I hated it to the core
@coolweather I was born shy and grew up with it. It’s true that nobody wants to work with people who doesn’t talk much. I haven’t tried hard enough to overcome it. Every time I work in a group I tend to stay quiet and do not share much and it reflects on my ability to work.
@roethlisburger I am both introverted and shy. I don’t have any speech issues, but I’m just not good at talking with people. I tend to stay quiet all the time because I don’t have things to say much and I’m afraid of people judging. It’s psychological issue. I have a hard time making friends because I don’t talk much and tend to stay with the shy kids.
Have you visited any colleges / engineering classes? You’ll probably find a lot more to talk about with classmates there thanin a drama class that is not your cup of tea. (My quirky, introverted daughter really clicked socially when she attended a STEM school. She ended up changing major to econ and switching
schools. But even now years later her best friends and her husband are from the STEM school.)
@colorado_mom By ‘social interactions’ I mean talking to strangers or discussing in a group who I don’t know very well. I’m not good at working in team because I don’t share my ideas very much because I think really slowly and like to listen to other people more than sharing. I’m also afraid of judgement (which I shouldn’t but I can’t stop).
Social interactions is like talking with people, working in team, having to meet a lot of strangers