Lack of social skills

<p>I don't mean to put anybody down but I am shocked by some of the social interactions I have had lately with some Engineering students. </p>

<p>I am leading a study group for a Physics class I am taking this Summer and it seems like most people are either afraid of talking to people or don't know how to talk to other people?</p>

<p>Right now, we have 3 people in our regular group but everyday before class, I see at least 10 other students sitting in the same immediate area- they don't say Hi, come over or say anything, each person doing their own thing on their tablets, like 10 feet away from each other. I just think it is absolutely bizarre!</p>

<p>If you don't know how or like to interact with other human beings, how do you expect to be a successful professional in the future? Just an observation, not a putdown or anything.</p>

<p>The majority of engineers are often introverts. In someways you must learn to respect that and take it for fact. They are often “to themselves” or just shy. Maybe it could be the fact that it’s during the summer and nobody knows eachother.</p>

<p>I’ve found many of them are actually interesting and intelligent people just like you and I. Usually you have to initiate conversation. Ask them how their day was, or anything interesting you have seen in the news/media/tech land that would appeal to them.</p>

<p>Don’t forget to smile too. It goes a long way.</p>

<p>It’s really not that bizarre.</p>

<p>Firstly, they are younger than you and haven’t really had a lot of opportunities to develop socially. Like the above poster said, it is mostly shyness and simply being the one to initiate would get them talking.</p>

<p>Second, they are engineers. Unlike IE’s, most engineers don’t have to deal with people as much as we do… I think I heard this joke on here but…</p>

<p>How do you know when an engineer is an extrovert?</p>

<p>He looks at your shoes when he is talking to you instead of his own.</p>

<p>People have diffferent stregnths.
Consider also that some of these young people were not the most social in high school. Some may have had negative social experiences (bullying) and even felt excluded. They may want to interact with you, but may be uncertain. They are possibly more social with people they know well. If someone is a natural introvert, he/she may not become outgoing, but with experience and confidence, could be more social.
Since you are the more social one- go ahead and start the conversation.</p>

<p>I am more on the introverted side but can be quite extroverted when needed. It’s almost painful being in a group when everyone does not speak up. It’s hard being the one who’s always trying to pry information out and relay so everyone is on the same page. I get where you’re coming from…sort of. </p>

<p>I don’t see the problem being and class and keeping to yourself. Heck, I’m pretty antisocial in my physics class mainly because I’m focused on something else. I don’t see the problem with sitting 10 feet away from someone and not talking. Talking isn’t always needed or wanted. If someone wants to be alone let them be. </p>

<p>Someone sitting off to themselves for not always mean they don’t have social skills. Take my valedictorian, for example. To an outsider he looks like he doesn’t talk much or is maybe even afraid of talking out loud. Set him in front of a crowd of 2,000 and makes you feel like you guys are talking one on one. </p>

<p>Can’t judge someone’s skills when they’re in a state of solitude, Mr. Extrovert. ;)</p>

<p>It’s is a stereotype for engineers, but it’s also true a lot of the time. Maybe there’s something about brain development that results in those with highly developed analytically abilities (left brain) having relatively poor social skills (right brain). Maybe it’s partly cultural in the engineering/CS field? Other fields, like drama, are the complete opposite in that they are often extremely social but not so analytical.</p>

<p>You kind of come of as insensitive, OP</p>

<p>I am not trying to be insensitive at all but I think we all should strive to be more “well-rounded” human beings.</p>

<p>I have a friend, she is a very good looking girl who is married to a “nerd”. The guy is very smart, a great person as well but sometimes I wonder how long their marriage is going to last.</p>

<p>One time we went to a bar, we all got up and walked up to dance floor, we had a blast but he just sat there by himself the entire time- I felt bad for him but women get really bored with a guy like this, especially if the woman is the more outgoing one.</p>

<p>Anyways, not trying to be insensitive or putting anybody down, people are different but at least trying to be more “well-rounded” will definitely help you in the future</p>

<p>So you’re annoyed that someone isn’t developing a skill that you think they would find valuable?</p>

<p>Focusing on other people’s poor social skills and pinpointing them on internet forum is not the best way to promote being “well-rounded”.</p>

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How do you know the structure of their marriage? What works for them may not work for you. </p>

<p>You’re being judgmental, OP. You’d dont have to be an extrovert to succeed in this world.</p>

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<p>Why is everybody jumping down bschoolwiz’s back? It’s a valid question and social skills hold engineers back both at work and in their private lives.</p>

<p>Who needs social skills when Engineers easily make 6 figure paychecks…</p>

<p>Lake, the reason are probably trivial examples.</p>

<p>Engineers are stereotypically introverted. There’s an old joke:</p>

<p>Q: How can you tell who is the extroverted engineer?
A: He is the one looking at YOUR shoes, instead of his own.</p>

<p>The social skills will develop in due time and do not have to be fully developed now in college. </p>

<p>As far as on the job, an engineer does more talking a collaborating with others and/or leading meetings as they acquire experience. I was the usual introvert engineer coming out of college. Now, 50% of my day consists of “flapping my gums” with meetings, design discussions, requirements gathering, etc.</p>

<p>As for personal life, pretty much the same. An engineer will slowly come out of their shell, and as for male engineers, the women WILL BE PATIENT TOO. Social skills plays a bigger role when you are young but when women are in “husband seeking mode”, the male engineers won’t have a problem. </p>

<p>The women will have to decide between the “extrovert” guy who cannot obtain the low-percentage rate mortgage and the “introvert” engineer who can.</p>

<p>For that woman over 25…guess which one she will choose…LOL</p>

<p>i think the topic is kind of irrelevant to the discussion of Engineering majors. some people are outgoing, and some are not, regardless of what they study in college. talking about other people on the internet is not going to help cure their social awkwardness. the opportunities for someone to come out of their shell are there in college. if you invited these people out to a social gathering and spent more time with them, i’m sure you would find many of them are not as awkward as you are trying to paint them to be</p>

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<p>Correction: it holds some engineers back at work and in their private lives. It holds some non-engineers back, too. For the majority of them it doesn’t matter. I know plenty of quiet, shy people who are happily married and have rewarding careers. You aren’t doomed for being shy and quiet within reason.</p>

<p>Why are people jumping down the OPs throat? Because this is an overgeneralization. Believe it or not, most engineers are completely normal, fully-functional human beings with the same sorts of likes and dislikes as everyone else with the exception that they were comfortable enough with math and science to decide to do engineering.</p>

<p>Some engineers are very outgoing, some keep to themselves, but most are somewhere in the middle. All the engineering projects I work on involve teams of people, and if you can’t interact effectively with others, you end up getting fired or laid off. </p>

<p>When I take the train (BART) into downtown SF every day for work, everyone is staring at their phones or tablets. From the looks of them, it’s unlikely most of them are engineers.</p>

<p>Being socially awkward and shy are two different things.</p>