<p>Our girls ended at the same school and same sorority. When D2 was looking, it was also the case of I wish this school’s location was more like school X, I wish this school was as big as school X, I wish this school’s college town had better restaurants/shops…D2 very much wanted to pick a different school, but she always went back to her older sister’s school. At the end, D1 had a talk with D2 about how it should be her choice. D1 told D2 to do ED there if it’s her first choice and that’s what D2 did.</p>
<p>My kids were 5 years apart, so no overlapping there, but D2 still didn’t want to feel like she was following her sister’s foot steps. My kids’ school also has 13000+ kids with a lot of course offerings. </p>
<p>OP’s situation is very different than my kids’. OP’s son is going to a very small LAC. Due to the size, it would be very likely for them to run into each at parties or end up taking classes together. There must be hundreds of LAC similar to that small LAC, so I do not see any reason for the daughter to go there if the older sibling would prefer to be by himself. My kids even thought about not applying to some schools knowing some of their friends were applying there. I am in the camp of encouraging the D to go to a different school.</p>
<p>My second kid chose a magnet program over the neighborhood high school, and one of the fringe benefits of this (from her viewpoint) is that she didn’t have to go to a school where she would follow in her brother’s footsteps. At the high school she actually attended, she was never “J’s sister,” in the way she had been in elementary and middle school.</p>
<p>On the other hand, she did apply to her older brother’s college – although it was not near the top of her list. If she had ended up there, I don’t think there would have been any issues. It’s a huge place, and they had entirely different interests. They would rarely have seen each other, and their time on campus would only have overlapped for a year, anyway. </p>
<p>Right now, younger kid, who has been working for a few years, is applying to graduate schools. One of her top choices is in the same state where her brother lives. I think they will cope if she ends up there. It may help that one would be in Northern California and the other in Southern California. If they both ended up in Rhode Island, I’m not so sure.</p>
<p>I had the same initial reaction as Marian. The turning point for me, however, was when I read that he is on the autism spectrum and is doing well at his college. Having a son on the spectrum, I know how important it is for those students to get to a place where they are comfortable and successful. If he has found that, I would support his desires and explain that to his sister.</p>
<p>I still kinda resent that my sister went to the same college as I did. I was shy and awkward in high school and came into my own when I went to college. My sister was much more popular and I begged her and my parents not to send her to the same school. As usual my sister won and went to the same school as I and lived in the same dorm. It did turn out ok. She had a serious boyfriend so we didn’t end up at the same parties but I wish she would have picked a different school. </p>
<p>My own children didn’t even apply to any of the same schools except for our state flagship which neither attended. But my D had better grades and scores so she had different options than her brother.</p>
<p>I too believe they should be both in separate schools. Each should have the opportunity to carve out their own paths without having to worry about stepping on each other toes. 1300 kids is really a small community…There are 4000 other schools out there…</p>
<p>There are tons of LACs with the features your D likes. Respect your son’s wishes and take her to other schools. Wasn’t there already some issue about his school choice? He wanted to go to a “better” U farther away and you pressured him to go to this one, closer to home?</p>
<p>I agree with others and say for your son’s sake that she should find something else.
Let him have his chance to shine. This is his time to be around people with no pre-conceived notion of him and having his sister there won’t help that.</p>
<p>I am sure there are times she might resent any special treatment he gets.</p>
<p>I would tell your daughter that Son needs his space to grow and he is doing great so LAC is off the table. That she can grow in any place she is planted. That she should write down what she likes about LAC and see what other colleges could provide that.</p>
<p>My kiddos went to the same U. S started in 8/06 and D in 1/09. Their U was very large and S was in engineering and Dvstarted as undeclared and then ended up in cinema. Both were happy attending the same U. </p>
<p>In a small U of only 1300, I’d strongly encourage my younger one to look elsewhere especially when older child has already stated he’d prefer that younger sib go elsewhere. 1300 students is a small place and there are over 3000 Us available. If younger kid is a great student, there are likely several Us who can meet her criteria and give good merit + FAid. Good luck.</p>
<p>There were these identical twins from Jordan that studied engineering in our school. Never took the same section of the common classes together. Both ended up with about the highest GPA ever issued to an undergrad, but people did wonder if one was the Math guy and the other was the Science guy :)</p>
<p>DD1 has several kids with siblings at her flagship state, not an issue. She would be thrilled to have DD2 there (DD2 did spend a good part of the summer lounging there while DD1 was taking summer classes).</p>
<p>My kiddos attended the same smallish University with a undergrad population of about 3000 ,though they only overlapped one year as they are 3 years apart in school. However, they LIKE each other and enjoy each other’s company and have never competed against each other, and were enthusiastic about attending the same school. It worked out very well. If that hadn’t been the case, I think I would have discouraged DS from enrolling there.</p>
<p>I go to the same school as my sister (two years apart), I almost never run into her. We both commute though, and it’s a big school. Different majors and different colleges within the university.</p>
<p>I’ve met a two pairs of siblings who have been only 1 year apart who go to the same school and are in the same major here. They didn’t seem to have a problem with it but I guess I wouldn’t know if they did.</p>
<p>If your son is in a good place and feeling comfortable and successful, it seems unkind to throw a wrench in his works. You could argue the merits of your daughter’s position, but his feelings are his feelings and since they were articulated clearly and timely, I think you should respect that. If your daughter is doing very well, surely she can find a place that would be wonderful and wouldn’t create hard feelings with her brother.</p>
<p>I think attending college with a sibling and attending high school with a sibling are two very different things. My kids are also three school years apart, so one was a high school senior when the other was a freshman. That worked out great and the older one welcomed the younger one, made him feel connected to the school and looked out for him. However, a college with only 1300 kids is like a high school. A college with 3000 kids is double the amount of kids so there is a bit more breathing space. My older one would not have any objections if his younger brother wanted to attend the same college, but we have a similar situation as the OP…the older one is a high academic achiever and the younger one has always been in his shadow and compared. Even if he could get into older S’s college, I would not want him to attend, just so he has his own “space”, his own professors, his own experiences different than his older brother.</p>
<p>The majority of the posters here are saying what I’m saying…let the younger sibling have her own experience at another college so the older one can continue to thrive at his college choice. It’s not like there isn’t enough colleges to choose from! If the older sibling wanted the younger one to join him, and there is no academic rivalry, that would be different. My opinion only, YMMV</p>
<p>Agree with chocchip and other posters who think younger sib should respect older sib’s “personal space.” It sounds as if older sib feels anxious about having his sister on his campus. While the issue is one that they will eventually need to get past, older sib is not ready to do that. Hopefully, they will resolve this within their parents’ lifetime.</p>
<p>Has the younger child had to make significant concessions for the older sib throughout her life? Does she resent this? Why create anxiety for the older kid where none need exist?</p>
<p>Seems like an odd situation. Usually, the younger one would be in the shadow of the older one, not the other way around, if there is any issue.</p>
<p>I went to the same elementary school, middle school, high school, and college as a younger sibling, but we each had our own independent student lives.</p>
<p>I find it hard to believe that the academically talented sib can’t find a suitable college without crowding the brother who has had some struggles.</p>
<p>To me this is a no-brainer. No college is perfect, and if your D has romanticized the brother’s college to the point that nothing else matches up, you may need a neutral third party (guidance counselor) to redirect your D.</p>
<p>Don’t use the distance, affordability, or “it’s just perfect for her” excuse to torpedo your older son’s experience. Your D is going to have to keep looking; I think your son’s feelings are quite valid here and should be respected.</p>
<p>All 7 of us started at same in-state flagship U. Two of us transferred but all the rest got their degrees there. No other options were offered, tho parents allowed each is us to have a term or year at an OOS U; only one declined the offer. It worked ok. At a small U with the older already suffering from shadow of younger, I’d strongly urge younger to find another U.</p>