Since Hindsight is 20/20, What Would You Have Done Differently?

College Majors Music Major
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<p>I can only share what I have learned in my son’s journey with classical music as a violinist about what we have experienced, and from the people we have talked to with kids anywhere from suzuki violin to finishing grad school at Juilliard…</p>

<p>1)The teacher really is everything when it comes to music. Before my son got serious with his music we thought that it didn’t really matter, if the student was talented that a decent teacher would do, and so forth. What we have learned is that isn’t true. </p>

<p>First of all, there is no such thing as a ‘great teacher’ that works for everyone, teacher’s styles vary and a ‘great teacher’ is one who can work with a particular student and may be great only to him/her (and thus, as everyone keeps stressing on here, finding the right teacher at a school you wish to go to isn’t easy…). </p>

<p>Secondly, a teacher who is an accomplished musician may not mean anything, I can name a number of performers who teach who have excellent reps as performers and as teachers, well,let’s just say they don’t get raves. A reputation as a teacher is more important then reputation as a performer by a long shot, and even then it comes down to chemistry we have found. One of the son’s earlier violin teachers was a principle player of a fairly well respected orchestra, but their teaching skills turned out to be basically that of a local violin teacher…we didn’t see the difference until he switched to a very hgh level teacher someone recommended to us (who teaches on a different instrument) who knew my son, the difference was staggering. Actually, what was staggering was the details that the other teacher glossed over and this one didn’t…it doesn’t seem like a lot, but the difference between a good teacher and a great one is in those details, among other things.</p>

<p>So as others have recommended, once the child starts showing a serious interest in the music it really is important to assess how the teacher is doing with the student, how the child is progressing. If the child doesn’t seem to be progressing or if they hit a roadblock or seem to be losing interest due to frustration, those are usually good signs that the teacher has reached their limit. A good teacher knows that, when my son moved on his old teacher recognized what he needed she didn’t have to offer and was happy for him. It is hard, because you don’t want a teacher to feel bad, but she had gone to a good conservatory herself and she knew that it wouldn’t benefit our son or herself to try and keep him. My analogy is it is kind of like a driver trying to win the Indy 500 driving a Toyota Prius, no matter how good a driver they are, the car just can’t do it…</p>

<p>2)Start researching schools early when looking at music programs.Attend performances if at all possible (or look for them on the web, these days lot of school music programs put video and audio up), if near where the school is attend master classes with the teacher (at many schools, master classes are open to the public). Do research on the net, on places like this, on discussion forums. Take a look at the bios of performers on major orchestras or other venues, take a look at where they went. A lot of the time, even famous musicians will comment on discussion forums, and there is a lot of opinion out there about schools (some of which cause death threats, like saying that Oberlin is not academically challenging if a student plays the viola <em>grin</em>), that you can pick up gleans of knowledge (for example, that certain programs may have more reputation then substance, or that certain programs, though well known, have crappy facilities, etc). </p>

<p>3)Practice, practice, practice. I used to question the wisdom about more practice being better, but the earlier a student starts seriously practicing (within reason, I don’t think it is appropriate for a 9 year old to practice 4-6 hours a day, physically I think it is dangerous on top of other things),but it makes a big difference in the level of play. No matter how talented the child is, without that it is going to limit the level they are at. Requirements on the various instruments differ (for example, piano and violin students tend to be at higher levels then comparably aged wind players, not because wind players are any less enthusiastic or working hard, but simply because violin and piano students start way younger then wind players, because they can:) but in trying to get into good programs the level within the instrument is generally very high. Malcom Gladwell, whose 10,000 hour figure many people have posted on here, says that in areas like classical music there simply isn’t that incredibly talented natural musician who barely had to lift a finger to become proficient, it is a myth (same for operatic/classical singers)…I would argue in fact that in any form of music (other then the synthetic crap passing as pop music these days,where no talents are packaged like american cheese), that work is needed. I have met top level fiddlers, jazz musicians, musical theater actors et al, and the one thing they all have is a work ethic that is incredible. </p>

<p>And hint, if you do that, you won’t see kids, like a girl we know who just got into Oberlin, who were madly spending the summer and fall of their senior year getting tendonitis from having to ‘cram’ for auditions:)</p>

<p>4)Get to know the world you are thinking of heading into. Take a look at magazines devoted to your specialty, take a look at websites, get to know the flow. Every area has its own environment, every one has unique things. I was shocked to find out the kind of level required on the violin these days even in the top level pre college programs, I kind of figured that the kids getting in there were kids who showed promise and musicality, but would be shaped by the program…likewise, I used to think that people heading into classical music could “get serious” in college (again, with varying degrees…) and make it to the high level, it doesn’t work like that. The earlier you can find that out, the easier it is to navigate the process.We were fortunate to run into people who could help us figure things out, as two people who probably knew less about this world then Homer Simpson, and even then it is crazy:)</p>

<p>5)Try and get the student into as many performing opportunities as possible. Youth Orchestras, chamber programs, all state/region/etc,choirs, choruses, coffeehouses, outreach to the local senior center, all them are invaluable. You not only learn how to perform, you learn the life skills needed to be involved in music, in dealing with people at different levels, of trying to schedule hectic lives, of reaching out to people who don’t know music, being able to jump in and play at the last minute (like the cellist in a chamber program my son is in, who had to jump in and learn a difficult piece in less then a week before juries, to fill in for someone who was out of commission). </p>

<p>6) Understand that no door is ever closed. If you can’t get into a good program at first shot, or one you wanted to, that isn’t the end of the line. You can spend a year at a ‘lesser place’ working on your flaws and faults, and use that to do a kick ass audition at the dream school the next year, it is possible.</p>

<p>7)And despite all the stress, try to enjoy it…it is crazy, nerve wracking, nail biting, eat a chocolate cake kind of thing, but try to enjoy it as the journey for both you and your D’s and S’s is part of the whole thing (and if not, after eating the cake and feeling lousy, exercise is a good stress reliever:). </p>

<p>YMMV, just some observations:)</p>

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<p>musicprnt - what a wonderful compilation of good advice! The parents entering this journey are certainly reaping the rewards of all this experience.</p>

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<p>TAKE SAMPLE LESSONS! </p>

<p>I didn’t take a sample lesson with a teacher at Oberlin and maybe that would have worked out for me and I would have like it and tried harder at my audition.</p>

<p>Visit early and often.</p>

<p>I was left visiting at the last minute.</p>

<p>I would have applied only to double-degree schools instead of all these other schools for just academics that I don’t want to attend and now just feel sad and sorry for the people who might have been waitlisted because of me, etc etc.</p>

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<p>Linking this thread to a similar one from the 2010 cycle <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/music-major/897086-things-we-learned-music-application-process.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/music-major/897086-things-we-learned-music-application-process.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>I agree with musicprnt on an interesting point that can be overlooked: chemistry between a particular student and particular teacher. I have a student who thrived with a particular teacher while another just didn’t have a fit. It was not a criticism of the teacher at all.</p>

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<p>Well, I could have skipped that whole julliard thread :-))</p>

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<p>lol, sagiter. </p>

<p>Seriously, what would we have done differently? We would have started almost everything earlier (i.e. research, sample lessons, prescreening recordings, applications etc.). We did have good intentions, but still cut too many things too close to deadlines. Those applications (with 5 essays, 2 academic references, 2 music references, resume, repertoire list, test scores, transcript, recording, . . .) just take longer to get organized than one might assume. S’s entire application to engineering at a highly regarded local university took a grand total of 5 minutes of his time (and none of mine whatsoever) and within three days he had a letter telling of him of admission with a minimum 60% tuition scholarship. Music is an entirely different beast.</p>

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<p>We were lucky as everything fell into place. A lot of advice is specific to certain instruments/performance areas, so you need to pick and choose. Visiting schools in the junior year makes things so much easier and the importance of making “good” (but honest-not remixed) recordings can not be underestimated. Know yourself and your youngster- if a teacher change needs to be made, do it as early as needs be and with grace, there is no need to burn bridges because this world is too small, but if the current teacher is a good fit and your student is learning and making progress, don’t feel compelled to rock the boat for the sake of something new. Figure out what rep is needed for auditions and set it as early as practical, as muscle memory can be a blessing when nerves or illness strike during that all-important audition. Be realistic about which schools should be on the list and how many auditions can be reasonably handled (and done well) and do consider the cost of living in the location as well as transportation costs (and the distance if your kid would like to enjoy that Thanksgiving turkey around the family table!)-remember that sooner or later,they have to move out of the dorm, which may be a major savings or cause major sticker shock!
There is one thing you can not control and that is the applicant pool for that year- some years are stronger than others in each discipline and students who are admitted in “year A” may not have gotten past the pre-screening in " year B", so there is a real element of chance involved.
Always remember to say “thank you” and follow up with written thank yous to everyone, those who write the recommendations, teachers(past as well as those who give the trial lessons), people who help with the recordings, you get the idea… Preparation leads to relaxation, and audition-time always comes during the time of year when the weather is the worst(unless you are on the west coast or southwest and then, we envy you!), so storms, delays, illness are all possibilities. Parents, this will be the last time that your youngster can really fit that description, so enjoy the time together!</p>

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<p>Bumping this thread in the hopes that this year’s “veterans” will share their lessons learned.</p>

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<p>I would have applied to many more schools. We were late to the game and without much guidance, and applied to more safety schools than dream schools. And, while they did come through (financially), we are now faced with the decision between a solid university program with a huge scholarship that sends kids to great grad programs and a highly esteemed conservatory. Doesn’t sound like a real problem, but my S is set on the later because of the teacher and the studio. I like the idea of less debt (crazy right). Trying to be supportive and do the right thing for him. Going slightly crazy in process.</p>

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<p>BrassMom17, feeling much the same way.</p>

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<p>Here are some of the lessons learned, based on our experience (which as of this writing, is not complete yet, still deciding where kid will end up going). Keep in mind here I am talking about classical music and on violin, so what i say may/may not apply as strictly to other instruments or types of music, hence it is always YMMV:</p>

<p>1)If you kid shows an interest in music beyond the casual, it is important to find a good teacher as early as possible. One of the the biggest things in the learning process was that supposedly good teachers may not be, and that it makes such a difference, and it may have nothing to do with what the teacher has accomplished themselves. One of the things that is so important is that they have a hand to the pulse of what is going on now; there are a lot of teachers who came out of school a generation ago and think what they experienced still holds.</p>

<p>One of my kid’s earlier teachers is a principal in a rather high level orchestra, yet their experience was they had been a casual student in high school, got into a top level conservatory and walked into a job with that orchestra right out of school…and that world doesn’t exist any more, yet they didn’t seem to realize it, it was shocking how little they appeared to know. Among other things, knowing the realistic competitive level of getting into conservatories is huge in making decisions…plus knowing teachers and summer programs and such are huge, too.</p>

<p>2)Don’t underestimate the power of networking and such with admissions. Yes, the admissions depend on an audition, and how well someone plays, and people get into programs blind, without knowing people…but given the crapshoot that is admissions, it also is important to understand that there are ways to improve chances. Based on what I have seen directly, getting to know potential teachers early helps, that studying with them at summer programs, or being part of a program they were involved with, or doing sample lessons or master classes, can help the process, in some cases more then a bit. It isn’t collusion, it doesn’t mean a mediocre player will get into a great school, it just means a kid has a better chance IMO if teachers in the program are already aware of them.</p>

<p>3)Get to know as many teachers as possible as well, at the schools you wish to apply to, because teaching is like an apprenticeship, and it has to work both ways. Plus, having multiple teachers also means if you put down a teacher and they aren’t available, you have alternatives in place.</p>

<p>4)Get your audition rep done as early as possible, the months before the audition are going to be hectic. You will need to do a pre screen for the most part, and that needs to be in really good shape, plus there is a lot of stress with applying, plus for kids in regular school senior year crap. By the time the audition comes around the rep needs to be fully in muscle memory so to speak, where you don’t have to think about it (gotten that one from a number of people,including my own kid).</p>

<p>5)On the auditions themselves, plan for contingencies because you never know what is going to happen. If you can, if flying a long distance, get there a day or two before, give the kid a chance to check the school out, and get acclimatized, before the audition happens. Likewise it is wise to think of contingencies, due to bad weather, scheduling conflicts and the like. </p>

<p>Be prepared for anything, we were faced with flying from the west coast to the east coast, due to back to back auditions on subsequent days, so ended up taking a red eye overnight, very little sleep:).</p>

<p>6)The period of the auditions might appear to be the hardest, but the waiting afterwords is even worse, first for acceptences/rejects, then for the teacher (if not already decided) and then for the rest, and the agonizing over the decision…it is pretty rough. </p>

<p>7)Very, very important, don’t be afraid to be proactive. Admissions departments are not full of ogres, but they are still bureaucracies and being passive may hurt you. Make sure your stuff got to them, and when the decisions come around make sure you have the information you need. If there are issues with a teacher, make sure they follow through, finding a good teacher can be time sensitive and they may not necessarily be focusing on your situation.</p>

<p>Same with financial aid and such. </p>

<p>8)Be prepared for your kid to change their minds more then a few times, and sometimes in ways you say “huh?”. It can be annoying, but it is part of the game, too. </p>

<p>9)In making the decision, make sure to weight all the things going into the decision, and my advice in the end is go with your gut feeling, that trying to do this via logic alone will fail, despite what Mr. Spock said. </p>

<p>In the end, ya kind of have to trust that the fates will steer the kid in the right direction, an it is hard, as i know only too well. I have to be careful to keep myself out of this as much as possible, since my kid will be the one doing this, and I have my biases that may or may not be relevant to his thoughts.</p>

<p>Oh, yeah, one other little thing…don’t let hindsight make you kick yourself, you can only do the best job you can. My kid earned my wrath a couple of years ago when they said we should have pushed them more early on, and it is only recently that they will admit that had we done that, they likely would have stopped playing the instrument entirely… it is an imperfect process, done by imperfect people with imperfect information into a process that is probably as byzantine as anything out there, and if you allow yourself that, lot easier on the therapy and having to work off binge eating on ice cream and fried foods:)</p>

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<p>musicprnt - I do hope, when the decision is made, that you will share with us, as you have so much of your wisdom, where your son was accepted, and where he decided to go! And then continue to share with us his experiences as he goes along.</p>

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<p>I wish we had known earlier that my DS was going to be a music performance major, but he did not know, either. He submitted applications to conservatories, music schools within universities, and to strictly academic programs. I think he felt that he would know, after seeing the results of his applications which direction he should take. He felt if he was not accepted to high level performance programs, that he would be better off concentrating on something else. He, and I, have been amazed at his results! </p>

<p>This is where I feel I did him a dis-service. We should have had him take lessons with other teachers, and perhaps we would have had a better sense of how good he truly is. I have a decent ear, but had nothing to compare him to, and while he is in a local youth symphony, I did not know how he would compare to others at his level from around the country. He also did not expect to do as well as he has. If I had known how competitive he is, I would have pushed him to audition at a couple of places he decided against. He thought he had no chance at all, and now, I realize he might have gotten in, or at least it was not out of the question. I have no real regrets, and I think he does not have any either. He is blessed with amazing options, and he is weighing all the possibilities, while we as a family weigh the finances, and see what schools are possible. I hate to have the decision made based on the money, and wish I could take that out of the equation, but unfortunately it s a significant factor!</p>

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<p>At the risk of repeating some of the great advice here (and no, all of these things didn’t happen with our search):</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Start early. My child started in fourth grade with everyone else in our public school. In a music world that (irrationally in my opinion) places great emphasis on early development and achievement, the reality is that he has been, and continues to be behind those who started at age 5 (or younger). At the time of his auditions for college, he had only been studying privately for 5 years. Many others were 12 years into private study. To put it another way, when he graduates from college with a B.M. in performance, he will not have had as much training as some of his classmates had BEFORE college. IMPORTANT - You can make it if you start late. But recognize that your competition started early and you are playing catch up with much of the field so work hard.</p></li>
<li><p>Accept the reality that there are many many people in the music world who believe that talent is innate and that you can’t “learn” to be a great musician. Accept it so you recognize these people and are careful to avoid them if their hearts aren’t in it when it comes to teaching your child. Find a teacher who is invested in your child’s success.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>2a. Accept that just like the Voldemort and the Malfoy family, there are people who believe that muggles (children of non-musicians) are not worthy of the best teachers, performance opportunities, and the other benefits that are given to musical pure bloods. You aren’t going to change these people so don’t bother trying. Seek out the many people who are willing to give your child a chance.</p>

<p>(Note on 2 and 2a - No I’m not bitter. My child landed in a great place, one of his top choices, and is doing very well.)</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Though you don’t need to go broke on an instrument, make sure you get a good instrument, one that will not hold your child back at his current level. If you need help or guidance in this area, get it. </p></li>
<li><p>Don’t take the summer off. Ever. Skills erode daily, especially during early development. Summer work matters. Camps, festivals, continued lessons, etc. are all part of the equation. Do not neglect this time because many of your fellow musicians are working and improving. Vladimir Horowitz: “If I don’t practice for a day, I know it. If I don’t practice for two days, my wife knows it. If I don’t practice for three days, the world knows it.”</p></li>
<li><p>Start thinking about audition repertoire in tenth grade at the latest. Trust me on this point: You don’t want to be playing things that you’re playing for the first time when it’s audition season. Many students audition on pieces they learned and played in recitals, competitions, or performances two years before they played them in auditions.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>5a. A violinist doesn’t need to play Tchaikovsky, a cellist doesn’t need to play Dvorak, etc., to get in. So many parents and students (ordered this way intentionally) think you need to play some of the most difficult pieces in the repertoire to get in. False. To get in, you need to play well and a very good concerto that’s not the most popular or the most difficult will still get you a ticket to study at a great school with a great teacher.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Never burn a bridge. This is a tight community. If you hate a teacher because of one or more experiences with that teacher, handle it with grace. Always show gratitude. Write thank you notes. Parents, this applies to you, too. If you think someone has not given your child a fair shake, think long and hard about talking about it with someone who might let it get back to the teacher. The audition process is not blind and you will never know why someone checked the “No” box on the form. Make sure you are not the reason.</p></li>
<li><p>Something will go wrong during the audition process. A string will break. A flight will be delayed. There will be a blizzard at Eastman and when you call they will say, “Of course it’s on; it’s only 18 inches.” You will get the sniffles. Your instrument will balk at the change in temperature or humidity. The action on the piano will feel funny. Laugh it all off and when you’re done playing, smile like you’re acknowledging a standing ovation because you just did something that 1% of the people who grabbed that trumpet in fourth grade can do.</p></li>
<li><p>Be smart about loans. If you’re all in for this, you’re probably going to graduate school. If you’re not all in, it’s not worth borrowing too much money. Balancing the best teacher you can get with the best deal you can get is tough, but a necessary balance for most.</p></li>
<li><p>You need to be an amateur travel agent to get through the audition process. </p></li>
<li><p>Most of all, remember that what happens in these few months will not define what you will be as a person or as a musician. As long as you get in somewhere and you have he opportunity to study and get better, you have a chance. I know someone who graduated from (arguably) the most prestigious conservatory in the USA who didn’t pass the pre-screen at another school. You read that right: this guy has a diploma from the “best” and a “lesser school” didn’t even want to hear him try out. It’s a mad, crazy world. And 10 years from now, some nobody with a degree from Nowhere State University will win a blind audition and get a tenured position in a major symphony orchestra. Why? Because that musician worked hard, overcame obstacles, and wouldn’t let someone listen for five minutes and say, “Not a chance.”</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Finally, this is an audition so a quote from the best minor league baseball movie ever is appropriate: “Your shower shoes have fungus on them. You’ll never make it to the bigs with fungus on your shower shoes. Think classy, you’ll be classy. If you win 20 in the show, you can let the fungus grow back and the press’ll think you’re colorful. Until you win 20 in the show, however, it means you are a slob.” Look the part, dress the part, and act the part. You’re trying to get a job in a field that is all about the impression you leave on the audience. Joshua Bell can perform in a T-shirt; you need to wear a shirt with a collar.</p>

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<p>I echo what everyone else has said. The most important thing we would do differently would be to start earlier in our selection and application process. The next thing would be to do our audition on campus instead of regionally. We felt like we couldn’t afford to travel, so we “took advantage” of the regional audition. I think that even though we couldn’t really say with 100 percent certainty, I really believe it hurt his scholarship amount. I do know with one place, we were told quite honestly that yes, we could do a DVD audition but priority would be given to those who auditioned on campus, and that was completely understandable. It was our decision and now we have to live with that. So, yes, if we could do it again, we’d travel. Which leads back to starting earlier… If we had realized the difference for music majors (cost, time, etc(, we would’ve started at least 2 years before with everything about the process. We would’ve saved money, made lists of every school’s requirements, and applied for every scholarship and grant known to man.
Oh, also, we would not have crossed some schools off the list that we were considering. I think we narrowed our list too much – in one case because of distance. In looking back (and forward because ya never know), we would not be afraid to try simply because it seemed to far away or seemed out of reach. For example, we took a chance on Denver’s Jazz program even though S didn’t really play jazz. He ended up getting a much better scholarship than we’d ever thought. But we didn’t also include New School or USC or some others because of the jazz thing. Now I wish we had. He loves jazz, he just didn’t have as much experience so we didn’t think it was within reach. I will NEVER doubt his abilities again.</p>

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<p>I don’t know that we would have done anything differently, but I would have liked to have known that some schools do NOT accept solely on the basis of audition/grades/scores/recommendations.</p>

<p>Eastman will reject a top student solely because he/she has not yet studied much music theory. It gives extensive music theory and other tests on audition day, and a student can be eliminated that way.</p>

<p>It would be interesting to hear if there are other schools out there like this.</p>

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<p>If you pick a safety school that is a state university, keep track of the news. Our safety had a wonderful teacher and a good record for scholarships but the governor got the budget slashed, and I mean really slashed. Like one fourth of what it was in years past. Yes we got accepted, but the safety ended up with a post scholarship COA that was actually higher than the post scholarship offer from the top tier conservatory our kid ended up choosing. Some safety. </p>

<p>I made the mistake of telling the teacher of a master class that my kid was about to participate in that we wouldn’t be applying to her school after all. Then my kid had to go play for the same teacher in front of a bunch of other players and get critiqued. Let’s just say it was bad timing on my part. </p>

<p>If your kid is studying with a teacher who has placed a half a dozen of students into Major Conservatory A, but has never put a student into Major Conservatory B, located just down the road from A, you might want to check into why this has never happened before you go rogue and apply to B. Nothing like taking a practice lesson with somebody and finding out that they HATE your kid’s teacher.</p>

<p>While your kid is in the practice room warming up before their audition, go up and down the halls listening to other people’s auditions and to just what is coming out of the practice rooms. You want to be scared and intimidated, not nonplussed. Being the best at an audition is great, but how good do the kids who will be playing in the orchestra or in the chamber group with your kid sound? You want peers that will challenge and excite your student. </p>

<p>Don’t be afraid to appeal a financial aid offer even if you don’t think you stand a chance. I was so worried about having the right cards to play with regards to other offers that I didn’t realize I had made a pretty convincing case based on merit alone and got the scholarship raised. Besides, even if you get turned down at least you tried and isn’t that what you’ve been telling your child for the last 15 years? </p>

<p>This forum is great but realize that anyone with half a brain and a few extra minutes can figure out who you are based on your past posts. There is no way I’m posting dollar amounts with institution names, and opinions of teachers or schools are strictly PM material. I think people are crazy to be posting how much they were offered from a school and I don’t believe them most of the time anyway. Better to say a good or not so good offer and let everyone’s imaginations run wild! </p>

<p>Before you send the financial advisor an email, make sure you have read the entire financial aid guide the school sent you a link to. The closer it gets to deadline, the more easily they get irritated, and that’s not a good thing.</p>

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<p>speihei, that was a great post! It should be pinned or something.</p>

<p>

This one cracked me up. Here we call them “music royalty.”</p>

<p>

I know a pianist who made the finals at Curtis but was rejected by Mannes for pre-screening. (Now at NEC on a full ride.) You just can’t take this stuff to heart. </p>

<p>Also, I rarely understand baseball analogies, but yours was great.</p>

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<p>You guys must have some real jerks at your kid’s orchestra. We’ve been involved with an orchestra that has many children of musicians I can only think of one or two over the years that thought they were royalty. Whether you believe it or not, the profs that I know without exception believe in a genetic component to musical talent, but all of them realize that their top students often have parents that aren’t the least bit musical. One I know calls it " a beautiful genetic mutation" when it just pops up in a family. There are lots of talents that are the same way. </p>

<p>But as far as a secret handshake or extra jimmies, I think you might be confusing professional courtesy with something evil. Malfoy? Really? I’m a professional musician, though not of the classical ilk, and the very first thing nearly every single teacher has asked my kid right after the first piece has been played for them is “Who’s the musician in your family?” . This has happened at least a dozen times I can remember so the teachers must be hearing something they recognize. But as far as getting any traction out of it - never happens. They have had their curiosity satisfied and move on with the lesson or masterclass. It’s interesting to them but has never gotten my kid anywhere special. What usually happens is that the studio door opens up and the teacher invites me to sit in on the lesson. But like I said- it’s just a professional courtesy. I’m sure you non- musical parents are in professions where you extend a little to fellow teachers, lawyers, service technicians etc? Don’t you? </p>

<p>Because the parents hang out at rehearsal and concerts etc, I’ve watched a few prestigious musicians/professors have their first child go through the music school audition process and it really changes them. Like all of us, when they see it from the other side they gain empathy. Or should . A lot of them came from non- musical families as well and probably are reminded of their own parents when their best student’s parents aren’t musical but are really supportive.</p>