Single vs. Roommate Freshman year

<p>I think another important issue is how fastidious your child is. If he/she wants everything left in the place she puts it, all things picked up and meticulously clean, beds made, and decompensates in a mess, then a single is probably the best answer. A friend's son was not permitted to request a single on his housing form, but was asked many pages of questions about his habits. He wrote down something along the lines of "I absolutely hate messiness and go nuts in messes." He got a single.</p>

<p>My D is an only child and felt that she wanted the "whole" college experience which included having a roomate. She lived in 3 room quad that had a common room. As far as roommates go, she hit the roommate jackpot: they hit it off from day one and they are still really good friends. There was enough space where they had different friends and interests but at the end of the day they came back to hang out with one another. She also lived on a floor where everyone got along amazingly well.</p>

<p>While she and her former roomate live on opposites sides of the campus, they blitz (their common method of communication) each other daily and have either lunch or dinner together a few times a week. </p>

<p>This year daughter is a Undergrauate Adviser (same as RA) and is in a single. Although she loves being an UGA, she says she misses having a roomate and felt that she would have had the best of both worlds if she could be a UGA in living in a double. Even though she lives in a single, like Fountainsiren stated, all of her studying happens at the library.</p>

<p>PS: D1 with a single was the room on the floor to which any one with roommate issues came for a sleepover. So, with 25-30 girls on the floor, any one who wanted space came and spent the night with my D, she always offered and it worked well for feeling a part of the dorm, as there as always some one who wanted a break from their roommate.</p>

<p>that reminded me of my D had a single for 3 years- her sister 8 years younger came down to visit at least twice a year- it wasn't a concern since she didn't have roommates- but some roommates wouldnt necessarily like a 6th grader hanging out for a few days-
D also had friends who had different schedules at other schools hanging out with her for a few days every year- something to check out with potential roommates.
She also had already had the "growth" opportunity of having a roommate- not only do we live in a tiny house- but for several years she spent summers as riding staff at on overnight camp- where her room was about the size of our bathroom and she shared it with someone that was assigned to her :0</p>

<p>I have very strong feelings about this even though S1 and I and H had uneven roommate experiences.</p>

<p>No single rooms for freshman. So says me.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Sharing is good for college students. One of the most essential lessons. Anyway, my sons have had the single room experience--at the small boutique luxury hotel they call home.</p></li>
<li><p>Single rooms are isolating. We have a Gap year student staying with us and his freshman year was marred by the single room in a single room dorm. All the study worms stayed in their singles studying night and day. This student missed out on all the late night conversations, negotiations and was generally very lonely.</p></li>
<li><p>Single rooms encourage bf/gf relationships to inappropriate levels of quasi-marriage because it is so easy to live together. Quasi-marriage relationships are also very isolating.</p></li>
<li><p>Americans have lived through a couple of impossibly prosperous decades. Learning to live with less space and more noise is a handy skill to develop if you imagine yourself working overseas or living hand to mouth as an artist LOL. </p></li>
<li><p>S1 had a very small triple this past semester. One of the roommates was an upperclass campus activist that was assigned to the room. S1 learned as much about the world from the activist as he did in his formal classes. (though he's quite relieved to be moving into a huge double next semester).</p></li>
</ol>

<p>I say, go for it! Worst case, she doesn't get a single and she really wanted one. If she gets a single and hates it, I bet she can find someone to trade with pretty easily. As for the social thing, I would think that Beloit is a pretty campus-bound school -- not a lot of people heading home on weekends, so the campus would have lots of things going on. Leave the door open when she wants company, and maybe have a bowl of chocolate kisses or something to offer visitors. And, of course, the usual advice about getting involved with a club, dorm/floor activities, etc.</p>

<p>i really dont think the whole 'quasi-marriage' thing happens very often - hardly ever on my campus - and if you're the 'quasi-marriage' type but you live in a double, i think it's more likely you're just going to antagonize your roommate by having your significant other over all the time, than remedying your ways and waiting till after college to live like that.
sometimes living in a double can be even lonelier than living in a single, if your roommate has a bunch of friends but you don't. now as a parent you could say "well why don't you just be nice to your roommate's friends?" but it doesn't always work like that, and if for some reason you just dont click with people on your hall you can feel extremely isolated with no space of your own.
for some people having a roommate can be a great experience, but i dont think wanting a single is selfish or not wanting to 'share', some people's personalities just fit a lot better with private space. i feel that, at least at my school, i am around people so much - i don't get a choice, there's nowhere i can go to be by myself - that it is hard for me to really be me.</p>

<p>There are some freshmen in singles at my D's college. I asked her if she wished that she had been assigned a single. She said, heck no! Much more socialization opportunities with a roommate (she only had one as a freshman; has 3 now). People with singles have to be real careful about coccooning.</p>

<p>Some colleges have the best set-up: singles in suites. They provide privacy and socializing opportunities.</p>

<p>One more vote for "depends on the kid" -- with the two biggest factors being degree of introversion and degree of tolerance/flexibility for different habits in others.</p>

<p>Based on my own experience and that of my son, I think that a roommate can pave the way socially for a kid who tends to be introverted or has a hard time making new friends -- just as long as possible noise, mess, or late hours aren't going to drive the kid nuts.</p>

<p>Since your daughter has expressed some concern about her ability to meet people and make friends, I would lean toward a double. Does your d. have choice of dorm and the ability to see a floor plan? That can also be a factor -- how big are the doubles? What about storage space? Where are the singles located? etc.</p>

<p>Maybe all the heartbroken kids who didn't get into Stanford should read this "Beloit singles" thread... S1 had 3 roommates Y1 at Stanford, four to a room originally built for 2! Y2, he and his roomate shared a room originally built for 1, it was tiny even for 1! Y3, there were 5 in the room, 3 beds in a room originally built for 1, 2 beds another room originally built for 1, and all five desks and dresses in the middle room. That was the year they got whooping cough and kept each other awake coughing for four months. Senior year he got his single -- only because he was an RA as well as the social director for the dorm, so he worked for it.</p>

<p>I will add my voice to the "singles are great" chorus -- I've had a single in a dorm of singles all four years at college.</p>

<p>Freshman year my next-door neighbor and I would often leave our doors open and lounge around in each others' rooms... but then when it was time to study or sleep, we had our own space. I shared a double the summer after freshman year at an internship with a friend of mine, and I didn't find that having lived in a single had stunted my ability to live with another person.</p>

<p>Having a single allowed me to have peace and quiet when I needed it, and moreover allowed me to get the sleep I needed (I'm a light sleeper). I've never experienced any negative social ramifications.</p>

<p>Quasi-marriage teen relationships were regular occurances in 1975 <em>ahem</em>. Everything I have seen in 2005 leads me to believe they are still quite common around the college campuses of the world. </p>

<p>I tell my sons to go along and get along. Adaptability is a great skill if you want to lead an adventurous life (for example, I started my own company in Manhattan at age 28, lived in three foreign countries, travelled around the world with my boys and DH). I say this as a person who was the RA for an upperclass single room dorm in 1978. There were an inordinate amount of very depressed students in that dorm-- and it was the days before airconditionsing. Doors were open.</p>

<p>Granted, it is not the best advice if you plan to graduate to a single room in a quiet suburb.</p>

<p>DD has a double as a single! So she kept both beds, raised up one as her bed and did the other one as a sofa/bed. It has worked out great for her as she is an athlete housed in the scholarship wing. Her practices times have her up by 5am so her initial roomate hated it. She was gone after 2 days.</p>

<p>DD has 2 closets for all her clothes, 2 dressers, kept one desk and put the other in storage. She has reserved the same room for next year with same set up. The bathroom is literally across the hallway, so she takes two steps and she is in. It is cleaned twice a day and since she is at the end of the hall it is rarely used and she sees little foot traffic in front of her door.</p>

<p>She says she needs the peace and quiet to study and draw (arch major) and needs her rest before a big meet. But she has tons of people over when she is there and available since she has the extra sitting room, the stereo, tv and dvd player. She also has the dishes, glasses, frig/micro and food so everyone tends to gather there. She usually has to chase them to get to bed!!</p>

<p>Her scholarship covers a single but the differential for the double as a single is small (around $25 a month) so she gladly pays that and hurried to reserve it for next year.</p>

<p>I agree with the poster who said it totally depends on the student. DD is a neat freak, and designed her room for comfort, studying and exercise. So I think she is much better off in a single. And according to her college friends that sometimes party and/or drink she is a BIG NAG!! So yeah, I can really see her with a roomie, poor roomie!!</p>

<p>Kat</p>

<p>I would vote for the shared areas in a quad with indivual rooms if available. Otherwise, I would agree with Cheers, for the reasons he outlined.</p>

<p>My HS senior gets along well with others, but I think a single would be isolating for her.</p>

<p>And we had quasi relationships in the dorms back in the 80s too....</p>

<p>Does she get to choose dorms? Is there different layouts? Is there cost differential? At one college, my S and I poured over lay-outs. He opted for a nice double in newest dorm. At current school, price is same for all dorm rooms, which tend to be doubles. He also got to choose roommate after a week living in temporary rooms in the dorm. I think it comes down to the person, if they would feel more comfortable with a roommate. Beloit sounds like it would help if a situation was not good.I also like the idea that IF D had a single, she could find someone willing to change places.</p>

<p>I think Cheers' reasons are in the eyes of the beholder. S was in a single as a frosh and loved it; his whole floor of singles spent all their time together, extremely social.</p>

<p>AS for adjusting to less space--his room at home is decidely smaller than any dorm room I've ever seen. (sits on his bed to work on his desk on the opposite wall.) </p>

<p>My D had a double at her first school; the vomiting, sexiling, etc. were a part of her decision to transfer. Had singles all 3 years at Wes; made a ton of friends. </p>

<p>As most have said; it really depends on the kid.</p>

<p>D is highly social. D wanted a suite. D got a single. D cried. D now LOVES her single - best of all worlds. Key is a) great hallway layout in a frosh/soph residential college b) serendipity, girl next door in single turned out to be best friend.....</p>

<p>I vote for single. I pay extra for my S's single and it has worked out great. His single is in a "mod" arrangement with 12 females and 4 males (wish I could have been so lucky in school, but those were the days of in loco parentis). They have a common living area they all share so he has 15 "mod-mates" that he's become close to, but privacy when he needs it.</p>

<p>Thanks everyone. D. has decided to ask for a single, then a split double, then a regular double. She's an outgoing kid, so she shouldn't have trouble meeting people, but she needs a lot of sleep or she gets pretty stressed --- the thought of being able to close her door and not have lights turned off/on, people coming and going, etc. appeals to her. Cheers, when she read your comments about co-habitating she had the opposite response you expected = she said "That's another reason a single might be better - I won't have to worry about my roommate having overnights with boyfriends." Of course, there's no guarantee she'll get a single, but she appreciated reading everyone's comments -- they really helped her make up her mind and the housing form is now in the mail. :)</p>