Cheers to me - I found an old thread and was able to share it. Apparently you can teach an old dog new tricks…or at least a new website format.
Oh, I’m so happy to see the Alley re-opened!
Please explain the rules here. Are the libations just pretend or can they be real? I have a box of wine just begging to be opened. No funny stories for today unless you find it funny that I was putting ice cubes in my bra while driving to keep cool. The AC in my car is out and I have to think of ways to keep cool. I didn’t think anything of it till I stopped at a gas station and the clerk was staring at my chest. I didn’t realize my shirt looked like I was lactating and needed to pump. Poor clerk was probably thinking I was the world’s oldest nursing mother.
ETA: I originally posted about my AC being out, but I saw the rules about no whining!
If you’re pourin’, I’m drinkin’ @CottonTales. What are we having?
@jym626, boxed Chardonnay. If you first pour it into a fancy carafe, you will think you’re drinking the fancy stuff.
Works for me!
So sorry you all couldn’t join me on the beach today then at the boardwalk restaurant sipping Mai Tai’s.
@Marilyn - did we miss your invitation?
Oooh, at last, a reason to cheer the new update!
I have 5001 awesome stories. Here’s a favorite:
Hubby and I, pre-marriage, went to Egypt on a guided “camping” trip. It was doomed from the start.
Hubby left passport at home, so he came a day later. Everyone on the tour, except hubby, got a 48 hour stomach bug. The tour guide and the cook were lovers and argued constantly. Third night, coach pulls up in a parking lot next to a mosque. This was our “campsite.” Needless to say, we were awakened VERY early by prayer calls. On Xmas day, we ate at a restaurant and hubby found a clipped toenail in his food. Our motel (booked as part of our “camping” tour) was crawling with roaches, so we bought bug spray but forgot to leave an exit for the roaches. Slept with lights on.
On a happy note, hubby and I walked up Mt. Sinai in the dark to watch the sun rise on Xmas day. No lame-o donkey ride for us! We lugged a tiny bottle of port that we had brought from home up the mountain (seemed like a good idea at the time), but forgot a corkscrew. We lugged it back down the mountain. The sunrise, however, was pretty spectacular.
The coup de grace of the trip was our camel trek into the desert with three Bedouin tribesmen. Four of us had booked this side trip. Our sick tour guide sent seven of us on a “camp under the stars” excursion with, no exaggeration, a packet of spaghetti, a carton of tomato sauce, and feta cheese. And beer, thank god.
We trekked all of about 30 minutes from the pretty awful town of Dahab, just past the town trash dump. It was very atmospheric.
The Bedouins prepared our meal. Luckily, they had salt and pepper with them. (Just like Boy Scouts!) We asked them if there was a word in their language for this fine meal. Without hesitation, one of them said “Yeah!..$hit!!!” We spent the rest of the evening drinking beer and had a very jolly time.
Kind of glad it was so bad. It gets worse/funnier every time we retell it.
@Lindagaf, how much were you paid for this 5 star luxury vacation?
@CottonTales , in fact, it was so bad that a bunch of us complained via old-fashioned snail mail and were given refunds on almost the whole trip, minus the airfare. We were even offered credit on a future trip with the company, but as luck would have it, life and children got in the way. Glad I went to Egypt though. ?
We were once offered a second trip on a Windjammer cruise that went awry. Our feeling was, If you messed up the first trip, why would we want to take another??
I’m drinking red. Every night.
@VeryHappy, a wise songwriter once said, " a bottle of red, a bottle of white."
Billy Joel, my favorite!!
I’m very glad this thread is back. I never posted before (I don’t think so, anyway) but I think we’ve been just too damn serious in this Cafe lately. I mean, really – Social Security? Retirement stuff? Aging parents? We need to have some fun!!
Is it ok to have a bellini at night? Peach seems appropriate. Got this adorable photo of the grandbaby with a peach of an explanation. So the little cutie was sitting on her potty. DS explains that she’s shown an interest in it, so they set it up (In the kitchen while making dinner). She sat on the potty for a few minutes, stood up, took 10 steps … and pooped on the floor!
??
Loving the grandparent role. Can laugh uproariously at this- and the cleanup isn’t my problem!
I’m here following a lengthy dental procedure (dentist said it was a good thing I came in before losing the tooth). The dentist is the son of my actual dentist but turns out to be amazing (and he sounds just like his father when you’re sitting in that chair tensing all of your muscles as the drill descends). So we go through this looooong procedure (and since his father did the original root canal/crown, I’m wondering what the kid is thinking), and he says “So, I have some extra time, shall we go ahead and fill that other cavity on your lower right canine?”
And. I. Say. Yes.
So now, I can swallow liquids like the Pinot Noir Rose in my hand. Bottle of red/white?
I texted my long ago ex wife today wishing her a happy birthday. Thought I would win best ex husband of the year award.
She said thanks. But it was last month.
You can see how it probably was all for the best in her eyes.
A little bit of trivia for the Sinners. 
Queen Elizabeth drinks 4 cocktails a day. Not all in one sitting though.
https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2017/08/queen-elizabeth-four-cocktails-a-day
“The way her four drinks are spaced out throughout the day is not really how we would have anticipated it, but maybe—likely—the Queen knows something we don’t. Three drinks before the end of lunch . . . and then a break until bedtime: the key to success and longevity and happiness? Perhaps the Queen is really onto something. If she didn’t already have enough on her plate, we would be encouraging her right now to start a Goop or Draper James of her own; we can only imagine what other sort of lifestyle-related tips she must have to share.”
I wonder if I pop in here for my virtual drinks before lunch, will it positively impact my longevity?
I hope the marmots are still here…
They’ve been hibernating!