"Slipping into Irrelevance: When Exeter Reduces Rigor" - What do you think?

<p>I think school cultures are very durable. Alumni sit on the boards, alumni donate to school initiatives, alumni teach, and the admissions process emphasizes fit on both sides of the equation. </p>

<p>classicalmama, I was taken aback at the revisit day, when the students on the panel spoke casually of pulling all-nighters, or staying up into the early hours of the morning to get work done. I am not advocating for “making things easier.” I think it’s a bad pattern to get into, to measure academic success by lack of sleep. I’m not aware of any sleep research showing sleep deprivation to be a useful tool for learning–rather the exact opposite.</p>

<p>Periwinkle…that would have taken me aback as well–but it hasn’t been my kid’s experience, at least yet. My kid plays three seasons of jv/varsity sports, gets great grades, participates in a music ensemble, and sleeps a solid eight hours a night. And he’d be the first to tell you that he’s not a genius who can get by with no studying. </p>

<p>Honestly, I think (with the possible exception of uppers, who often have particularly intense schedules and lots of standardized tests to deal with), I think that the all-nighters are largely a choice. Kids who stay on top of their work, put in time during the day and on week-ends, seem to get it all done and still have time for ultimate frisbee on the quad. Kids at Exeter have a lot of freedom–including the freedom to goof off during the day and in their dorm rooms during study hours, and pay the piper down the road.</p>

<p>Regarding sleep issues, the school just did a major sleep study this winter, which included surveying the community and temporarily moving the class start time later, assessing its effect on student’s health and sleep habits. The results haven’t come out yet…it’ll be interesting to see what’s revealed.</p>

<p>Exie, I’m not sure how in touch you might be with the current scene at Exeter. However, it does seem to be human nature to relish our experiences of the past and worry that today’s experiences might not be up to our’s of times past.</p>

<p>We’re the parents of a current boarding prep, and we live close enough to be able to visit Exeter pretty frequently. Like c’mama’s son, our son gets very good grades, plays three seasons of JV/Varsity sports, plays in the Concert Band, takes private music lessons, and has a heck of a good time with his dorm mates too. Yes, we’d like to see him get a bit more sleep, but he’s never come even close to doing an all-nighter and neither have his friends. Furthermore, the breadth of his activities at Exeter is matched by many of his friends whom we know.</p>

<p>In conclusion, I will suggest that the " intense, but diverse and broad experience" whose demise you fear is actually still a common hallmark of today’s Exeter experience.</p>

<p>Given the tragic stories one reads, aren’t all prep schools duty-bound to take reasonable steps to decrease student stress? How many more student suicides or academic burnouts will be required before everyone realizes that the requirements of mental and physical health must sensibly moderate the demands for academic rigor?</p>

<p>Mainer-- Prep year is an anomaly at most BSs. Wait until you have a crushed 11th grader and see if you find it healthy or not. We are holding our breathe for school to end so our D can come home and recoup over summer.</p>

<p>I’m also an Exeter alum, and also trying not to do a knee-jerk judgement on what the school is now vs what it was when I was there (long time ago). </p>

<p>What I like - more economic diversity. Makes me proud to be an Exonian. Also, it seems that more of the kids truly want to be there, and thus a source of edginess has been removed. Again, a plus. </p>

<p>What I am not sure about - economic diversity aside, it is not clear to me that there is more diversity now, in fact, I wonder if the range of type of “intelligences” the school serves has become narrower. When I look at my class today, some of us may not have been what seems to be typical now. Not 100% - nothing ever is - but there are some people who make a big difference to the school who might not have struck you as the Master of the Universe in Training at the time, but have turned out to be smart, decent people, huge supporters of the school (money, time, everything) and a joy to count as a friend, many years on. </p>

<p>What I definitely don’t like - the students who post here saying, in so many words, that they are smarter and therefore more deserving. I don’t know that we actually thought of ourselves as smarter - not sure we had a free moment to focus on that question, to be honest - but I don’t recall it being a huge topic of discussion. What I do recall was a sense that we had been given a huge opportunity, and we were under obligation to give back more than we had gotten. Time will tell if these new brilliant folks are folks who will give back - everyone can grow - but at the moment, it’s embarassing to read the boasting. Again, these are not 100% of the students and parents - but they sure aren’t zero either.</p>

<p>Even the traditional, rigorous independent schools make changes in their curriculum. I’ve been through two of them with my kids, and they are not static relics from the past. Some of the changes work out and are great; others are not. The school where two of kids graduated has actually seen a shift to more academically focused kids and the curriculum has been adjusted to meet the demands that this student population has. It has meant a narrower range of courses and more emphasis on covering AP material which was truly an afterthought when my son started the school. </p>

<p>The last year my son was there, there were more “light classes” added to the choices and a push to have kids take less rigorous loads to get better grades. Also the grading curve was less rigorous that what it was when we started with the school. So another shift is starting. Student stress may be a factor in all of this.</p>

<p>Gar, I’m a little upset that Exeter is trying all of these experiments within a relatively short time period. I lean more towards preferring more Saturday classes because we’re going to spend our Saturdays working anyway and fewer Saturday classes means shorter breaks and less time at home. But that’s beside the point. I would suggest that you not take the opinion articles to seriously. I started to get frustrated by reading them every week because they’re all complaining about some tiny aspect of Exeter that isn’t perfect.</p>

<p>WHY is there always so much angst over Exeter? It’s just a good school among other good schools–but does any other school gets such constant, vigilant negative attention from its alums and visitors, despite the largely positive words of the faculty and students who actually go there? </p>

<p>This constant undercurrent that a kid couldn’t possibly be happy and comfortable and challenged at Exeter, unless he/she is a sleep-deprived, overcompetitive, values-skewed, navel-gazer is enough to make a parent resort to…I don’t know…boasting about his/her kid’s normalcy. Uffda!</p>

<p>On April 29, 2011, The Daily Princetonian published an opinion piece titled “Dealing with it” written Brandon Davis, a sophomore at Princeton. Because Davis’ insights about Princeton poignantly evoke the stress that exists at top prep schools as well, I have quoted excerpts from his excellent piece below:</p>

<p>"You see it on your classmate’s depressed look as she enters precept. ‘What’s wrong?’ you ask. She feigns a smile. ‘Oh you know. The usual.’ Maybe she cites her upcoming essay or orgo test. ‘We’ll get through.’ You see it in your friends, as they ask what they’re doing wrong, why they deserve to go here, whether they can stand the pressure or if college is supposed to make you crack. You hear it in the groans and the sighs: ‘I just want to get out of here.”’</p>

<p>“‘What is ‘it’? It’s self-doubt and crippling stress; it’s the feeling of failure and rejection; it’s powering through Princeton without ever enjoying the process of learning. Maybe it’s preparation for ‘the real world.’ … Perhaps we can define ‘it’ as unhappiness, in the broadest sense. Many Princeton students go through periods of intense unhappiness and try, as much as possible, to keep these experiences private.’”</p>

<p>“… I recognize that there is no one solution — the University can’t form a task force on general unhappiness. Princeton does offer professional help through University Health Services, but these experiences of unhappiness are so common that students often choose to deal with them stoically and internally, as if they don’t matter. But they do matter, and there are ways to mitigate, at least slightly, these tough times.”</p>

<p>“… Princeton is more than the compilation of readings, precepts, tests and essays. College is not just about getting good grades and getting out. When and if ‘it’ threatens to barge in, especially with reading period and finals on the way, remember the human side of this place. Reach out. There is no need to withdraw. Princeton is our school, but Princeton could be our home as well.”</p>

<p>Balance is everything. Are Exeter kids more successful in life than kids who are graduated from other top boarding schools? From the outside looking in (nod to ClassicalMama), Exeter seems to treat high school like a hospital treats its interns: one part hazing, one part education. You read about the complaints from would-be doctors who are driven for sleepless hours on end that there is an increased risk of medical error and certainly little joy in their lives. Then later in their career, these doctors fall into two camps. The first and larger camp takes the position that the hazing “was good for them,” that it “prepared” them and that everyone else should have to suffer equally. The second camp would prefer to see more balance, more sleep, more time-off (which still means the interns are working incredibly hard).</p>

<p>There is such a volume of complaints on this site about Exeter’s work load and about its rampant student unhappiness, that even if only 10% of that is true, it’s still off-putting. Hazing, academic or otherwise, is not a badge of honor, it is not noble, it should not be the “tie that binds.” I don’t care if the School is full of the best and brightest. Does that mean they “can take it?” Or should take it? </p>

<p>We all have our own views about the important habits and values that we hope will be instilled in our boarding school children. At the top of the list in our family is balance. We want happiness as much as we expect a measure of heartache and stress. We want our kids growing up believing in moderation and able to achieve it in their own lives. We nearly lost one of our kids to cancer when she was much younger. That was the only wake-up call we ever needed about making sure that there was a balance between achievement and “smelling the flowers.” This is a family value to cultivate, but if you choose boarding school, it needs to reinforce the same lesson.</p>

<p>Well stated Parlabane. As an intern at one of the premier teaching hospitals in the US, we had a saying, “The longer you stay (each day)…the longer you stay.” Working harder and staying in the hospital longer didn’t necessarily make you a better doctor.</p>

<p>Parapharasing here, I think one could state, “The longer you study, the longer you study.” There is only so much you can do before the law of diminishing returns kicks in. Overworking and overstudying and studying all day Saturday(s) doesn’t necessarily make you smarter or a better student or get you into a top college.</p>

<p>I agree, RBGG. There is definitely a law of diminishing returns when it comes to staying up late to study. As I wrote on another thread, I also wonder if some of these overly stressed out students are taking the right courses. There can be a huge difference in the amount of work assigned in different levels of classes.</p>

<p>Here’s my (somewhat volatile) Q: since the exigencies of PEA are so well documented, does it attract families & kids with a certain masochistic streak?</p>

<p>I don’t think Exeter has a monopoly on driven people :-)</p>

<p>Looking at the current parents on this board, I find it incredibly reassuring that there are such level-headed people sending their kids to the school. Long may it continue. </p>

<p>Why I am worried (and just to reiterate, I’m only one alum, speaking for self alone) - the sense that the school has narrowed its view of what its natural community is. I don’t know that for a fact, but I did spend a lot of time thinking about the issue in the last year, as I visited with both of my kids, and I picked up…something which I can’t really articulate, but which worries me. </p>

<p>The issue of “how hard do they work” is not a front and center issue for me. My father worked hard when he was there, I worked hard (perhaps too hard, with 20-20 hindsight and knowlege of the 2-year skid when I hit college) - but the issue for me isn’t working hard, it’s why you’re working hard. Is it to prove you’re the smartest, and worthy of your selection? Is it to gain the golden ticket to the college of your choice? Either one is a losing game, IMHO. Working hard probably needs a more positive reason in order to be a sustainable habit. </p>

<p>In the absence of a positive reason to work hard, the work still needs some point, and the risk is that the point becomes arrogance. Doesn’t have to happen. Probably doesn’t happen in many cases, particularly in the families who have been posting here, and whose kids sound like wonderful solid citizens. But there’s enough risk in general for the school that it worries me.</p>

1 Like

<p>@jmilton</p>

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<p>Are suicides caused by academic stress? (by the way, I’m thinking of all high schools, not just PEA.) I know people who believe it, but I think depression, loneliness or a sudden life change (such as breaking up with a girlfriend, or parents divorcing), seem more likely. Suicides are rare, and difficult to study. </p>

<p>When we were newly married, an older cousin, who’s a doctor, told us that suicides are more likely after major life changes, such as marriage (or divorce), moving house, new jobs (or losing an old one), the death of a close friend or relative, or a new child. At that point, we had had more than half of the triggers in the previous three months, so we could only murmur, “Uh, gee thanks for the information.”</p>

<p>In a school context, I’d first ask about a school’s advising system, and the mechanisms set in place to detect signs of student depression.</p>

<p>Academic burnout seems more common for today’s competitive teens. I’m not singling out Exeter for this, because I’ve heard stories of students from other rigorous schools who find it hard to hit the ground running in college. I also wonder about the current fashion for students to sign up for extra, high-pressure classes in the summer, to burnish their academic records for college. Are we parents allowing our children the luxury of time to rest? If training for one sport year-round is bad for the body, and leads to injuries due to overuse, what happens when a child concentrates on academics without respite over years?</p>

<p>I believe that even in Exeter, most kids will not be “broken” by the academic rigor but rather they’ll become stronger. Our kids, especially those from many PS and some particularly “nurturing” PS, are somewhat spoiled. The “initial” adjustment for them, which can take one, two or even three years, can be painful. I asked a couple of kids from Korea/China currently attending top US boarding schools if it is very hard for them, and the answer is “not really”, compared with their old schools anyway. Mind you these are not the super nerdy no fun kids you might be thinking they are. It sounds cliche, but it is indeed about self-discipline, focus, and good work habit that’s been developed over time. On the other hand, “school is what you make of it”. You can make NMH super stressful if you take the most rigorous courses, are not satisfied with anything less than “A”, play varsity sports and be on 10 ECs. And you certainly can be a “slacker” in Exeter if you want to.</p>

<p>Edit: I do question though what top BS’s are doing to help students adjust. As they increase the diversity of its student body, they should figure out effective ways to break the kids from different background in.</p>

<p>So, if the school culture, or the “mainstream” idea is over-achieving, how can one be comfortable being a slacker? That’s a fair question. Just as in the real world, certain industries or certain organizations are in “high stake high return” business. They tend to attract people who are very motivated and have the tendency to over-achieve. Just because you are bright and can get A’s “without studying” in your middle school doesn’t mean you are ready for Exeter. Exeter may choose you because they believe potentially you can succeed in Exeter. You have to decide how you want to live your next four years of life. Being a “slacker” in a very competitive environment is one choice but may not be a best one. “Sticking it out” may make you an unsatisfied alum in the future, and jumping off the boat when you can sometimes generates great results.</p>

<p>Five questions:</p>

<ol>
<li> If academic pressure does not “break” most students, should we turn a blind eye to the fact that it “breaks” some students?<br></li>
<li> As academic stress “breaks” some students, doesn’t it also injure, in varying degrees, many, if not most, students at top prep schools?</li>
<li> If so, don’t top prep schools have an obligation to adopt reforms that carefully balance the benefits of academic rigor and the detriments of excessive academic pressure?</li>
<li> Shouldn’t parents and students, who would otherwise eschew Social Darwinism, support these reforms?<br></li>
<li> Finally, will Exeter go to hell in a hand basket if it prudently reduces the number of its Saturday classes?</li>
</ol>

<p>I know this is out of date, but it may strike a chord with current students and parents… I worked super-hard at PEA because it was so demanding. Years ago, they gave impossible amounts of work- very few could really do it all. They did not have finals or cumulative assessments because they could never have covered all that material at once. One had to expect to be in class every day ready and prepared to write or do a pop quiz, let alone participate heavily in class discussions around the Harkness table. We had papers and tests at least once a week, and they were carefully graded with lots of comments- the teachers really spent time on our work, making extensive corrections to show us what was not right and how to improve, so they worked hard, too. It was the opposite of coddling. There was almost a heady feeling, as if it was an honor that the teachers held us in such high esteem to expect that from us. I had a few very unreasonable teachers, too- learning experience about unfairness, etc.
The kids there were definitely the smartest group of people I have ever been with. Compared to the NYC private I attended before PEA and the Ivy I attended afterwards, PEA was surely the hardest, most challenging. It did not feel competitive, but just that the standards were high and justifiably high because everyone was so bright and it was a stimulating learning environment. Grading was merciless- a B- was truly hard to get and called Honors. Many former superstars at their previous schools were ground into C averages. Yet a few, geniuses and hard-workers both, did attain Highest Honors and High Honors. The culture really really respected intelligence, good grades, and eccentricity, wit, and quirkiness. (LOL no one talked about SAT’s or getting into college much!) The classes were amazing- great discussions, great writing, great books, much covered. </p>

<p>So I was attracted by a greater challenge and hopefully a better education than at my prior school. I was already a hard worker and quite academic, and found it refreshing to be at a place where that was admired and respected by my peers. </p>

<p>The teachers all loved to teach. The content of my Humanities courses at PEA was incredible, too. I learned so much, and how to write persuasively (I obviously have forgotten much of that due to lack of use LOL), and it was an amazing place. </p>

<p>Was I happy all the time? Of course not? Did it change me? For sure. Was I over-worked? Yes, but I learned how to work smarter, not just harder. Did I get homesick? No. Did I get much support from faculty and advisors. Not really. I learned humility, too- plenty of people were sooo much smarter and more accomplished, but it was great to be in a pool of such bright minds. Also, it was already a bastion in the forefront of diversity supported by a large endowment and loyal alumni base. Not preppy at all. Not entitled or privileged, or materialistic- quite spartan, actually. I met all kinds of interesting kids from all backgrounds and from all over the world. I do remember a decent amount of feeling as if we were being sent off to lead with considered thought and humility and confidence. I guess that could be labelled as elitist. </p>

<p>I do not know whether PEA has changed all that much. Sounds as if it has not lightened up too much on the academics… but maybe the grading has become easier.
Back in my day, PA was considered a party school compared to PEA LOL.
I assume PEA goes through this cycle of responding to concerns and complaints about academic pressure on a regular basis. I have no idea how they have responded or adjusted in the past. But when I was there it was undoubtedly a uniquely high quality institution delivering an extraordinary education.</p>