My daughter’s dilemma is between accepting a merit scholarship from Smith College called the Zollman/STRIDE which offers half tuition and two years of guaranteed paid research her freshman and sophomore years. We just eliminated Wellesley which would’ve been hands down her first choice with no hesitation, but we just can’t bring ourselves to pay full tuition at nearly $70k/year after all that’s said and done. So, now we are left with Smith vs. Berkeley. She wants to major in history. So the downside is that after much research and questioning, our conclusion is that Smith’s history program does not compare to Berkeley’s which is one of the strongest in the nation, but definitely in reference to the graduate division, I’ve been told. Berkeley is a research institution that will pay little attention to it’s undergraduate students. She will have to work hard to get noticed among 40,000 undergraduates and to get research opportunities. So it seems that Smith is the better choice overall. Liberal arts colleges focus on the student and the chance to work with a professor for two years is hard to pass up. However, my daughter’s gut feel which she just can’t really pinpoint is that she just can’t get herself to like Smith. She is indifferent about Berkeley and it’s a safe choice where she will know a lot of people. Although, one thing she can sort of describe more tangibly about Smith is that she does think that the faculty, staff and administration, are wonderful and genuinely caring. Students are their main focus. Smith has an alumnae network that is very strong that shows that graduates had great experience at Smith. However, her gut feel again is that is just won’t be the place for her no matter how wonderful everything is. She does think that it’s too laid back for her if that means anything. She had a different feel at Wellesley and from reading Facebook, she gets a different vibe from Smith–also smart young women, but just different from her. She is a liberal, but leads a very conservative lifestyle and is afraid that she won’t find her niche at Smith. It’s early and I know I am rambling. Tomorrow is decision day and she still can’t decide! Please help! Thank you 
Can you describe what you mean when you write conservative lifestyle?
My daughter doesn’t drink or smoke and has no problem finding things to do on the weekend whether it is a film on campus or netflix with friends. Occasionally there is craft night which she enjoys too. She goes to the public library to pick up YA reading for some down time.
The students are serious about their studies. My daughter jokes that you need to show up to class 10 minutes early or all the “best” seats will be gone. I asked about best seats and she respond the ones in the front of course!
One thing I learned about any stridency by a group vocal on whatever topic is that it is coming from a place of kindness and welcome, wanting to be sure everyone has a place at the table.
Even though there are no distribution requirements, I think my daughter has taken the equivalent but out of a desire to learn. No student is in a class because they have to be.
History specific - she used to phone home every time she came out of the class that dealt with pre colonial latin america and the early colonial years. It was amazing. She LOVED having history in that class taught in such a way as to highlight the issues from the impact on the women and children. She was pumped up as she left, did the readings, and wrote the papers.
She has also been appreciative of the house system. There is no “freshman” dorm. Having the older students around is a built in advice center on classes, life, internships, etc.
If you daughter cannot get herself to like Smith, she should go there. That’s a recipe for unhappiness or disaster.
From the many Smith women I have known, most lead a “conservative” lifestyle if by that you mean they are serious, diligent and focused. Their political sympathies may be different but even there, you’ll find a broad spectrum of views.
All in all, your daughter should go where she feels she would be most happy.
As you know, @outoftime48, I am a huge Smith fan. Berkeley is a great choice as well, although the schools are very different. Either way, your daughter has to feel good about her choice.
Have you tried the coin toss? Have your daughter flip a coin for a school. After she sees how it landed, ask her how she feels. Depending upon how she responds, that might tell you what you need to know.
Or tell her to pick one and live for the next few hours thinking of that as her choice. How does she feel?
And remember - keep this in context. She can do great things at either place. She’s in a great position! (And mom - you’re almost done!)
I truly appreciate everyone responding to our dilemma. In response to how I define ‘conservative’ lifestyle, it’s pretty much how @SnowballCity described her own daughter. My daughter prefers to read and write, watch movies, bake, play board games, shop (once in a while), go to museums and just hang out. She doesn’t like big crowds or going to parties. She has never drank before. She would probably participate in many causes on campus. I should add that she is also still 16 and I am worried she might be a little young to go so far way. That’s my own thing, but I’m ready to let go if she is. For her it’s not about distance, but about maybe not being a mainstream Smithie. But I hear more and more that there are all types of people and no one particular type. Not everyone is an extrovert. That’s what I told her, but she’ll just have to decide one way or another by tomorrow. Thanks to all again!
The nice thing about Smith, which I’m sort of surprised someone hasn’t focused more on, is that there are the other colleges in the consortium. It’s very easy for her to find history courses or mentoring profs at the other schools. I’ve known, for example, a Hampshire grad who did a research project with someone at UMass, published it as an undergrad, and that set the student up for a very prominent Ivy for grad school. I’ve known other 5-col consortium grads who took classes at all 5 colleges because they were seekign out the different classes and the different perspectives.
My fear about Berkeley on your daughter’s behalf is that currently it seems a bit of a political hot mess. Also, lately because of the long-standing budget issues in CA, the campus really isn’t kept us as nicely as we would all like our kids to enjoy. On the plus side, it is Berkeley and the Bay Area is beautiful. But Berkeley is kind of a hot mess right now IMHO.
My D is also conservative in the way you describe–she doesn’t drink or smoke or want to party into the night, and she is leaning strongly as ED at one of the 5-colleges for next year. She isn’t sure if it is Smith or Mt. H–and is weighing which one will be more calmly studious.
Another issue at Berkely is that your D may not get her required courses she needs to graduate and may need an extra semester and/or year. It’s a big state school with over-enrollment issues like many other big state schools.
I was leaning Berkeley because you said your D just can’t warm up to Smith, but then when I read she was only 16, if it were my D, I would feel more comfortable with her at a LAC, like Smith, where she can’t slip through the cracks. She will be one of the youngest at college wherever she goes - that can be intimidating and a lac may better suit a younger kid. Are you in-state for Berkeley? So cost of B is a lot cheaper than Wellesley was?
My daughter bakes and boy does that bring students out of their rooms!
Yes, we live in California so Berkeley would be the least expensive of all schools we looked at. Good point about LAC being more attentive.
Smith. And that’s speaking as a Berkeley dad who loves the town and loves Cal but who would not send a 16 year old girl there. Your daughter is obviously very advanced, but you don’t say where in California you are from, and Berkeley can be very edgy. I did not worry (too much) when D traipsed around downtown Berkeley and the campus and north Oakland with her best male friend (6 feet tall) and best gal friend (black belt in I forget what) at that age, but I still worried. It is not a super safe town, and 16 can be very young. YMMV. An LAC like Smith seems like a much better fit, and the reputation of the graduate history department (mine is a grad student in an affiliated cross-department program at Berkeley) means squat when it comes to undergraduate education (unless yours would get to take a class from mine, in which case she could not do better, of course).
I would choose Smith. I’m very pro LAC for undergraduate. I think Berkeley is a great place to go for graduate school. I have two friends on the faculty at Smith and they seem to love it there. My daughter still has not decided where to go and Smith is on the list. I wish she had been offered the STRIDE scholarship! Just a few hours left to decide and it’s not easy. She doesn’t drink, smoke or party either. She’s never been kissed. She also loves to stay in her room, read, and bake. Sounds like these young women have a lot in common!!!
I don’t see not getting a STRIDE as a barrier to student research. At least in the sciences, the hallways are decorated with all the poster projects done in collaboration with faculty. My daughter did one because her unpaid internship required class credit and her advisor devised an independent study that culminated in a poster.
Have her go to every event her departments put on and chat with older students and faculty about what types of internships and research projects students do. Find out what the honors projects are and when they begin their work for that. Visit during offices to chat about goals and areas of study. One prof remembered my daughter’s career goal and hired her for some department jobs that dovetailed nicely.
@Earthmama68 “She doesn’t drink, smoke or party either. She’s never been kissed. She also loves to stay in her room, read, and bake.”
Sounds exactly like my daughter. Hope they find each other at Smith."
@“Snowball City” It’s more the money I was thinking of 
@outoftime48 - A close friend’s daughter sounds a lot like your daughter. She pretty socially reserved, and loves to read and cook. Not a partier at all. Came home from her fall campus visit and applied ED, right away. She was so attracted to the college that I assumed most of the young women at Smith were all smart and nerdy, like my friend’s daughter. Who liked really good conversation and knitting! Did your D attend an Accepted Students or other campus visit at Smith?
Our friend’s daughter loved Smith’s so much, she deferred a year, and worked full time, to save up the $ to be able to start a year later. (Her family had made a mistake with the Net Price Calculator, before she applied, with the question about how many kids would be in college, and it threw off their expected family contribution). She will be in the opposite position of being a year older than the other students. Deferring a year meant that she and her younger brother will be in college at the same time for 3 of her 4 years at Smith, which will qualify her for enough financial aid for her family to be able to afford the tuition and fees. She was not lucky enough to earn the wonderful scholarship awarded to your daughter. I’m sure you can request that she be placed in a dorm with a student Resident Advisor who would be happy to help your young daughter, and act as a sort of big sister. I went to a co-ed school, but we had all girl dorms back then, and I definitely looked out for the girls who were far from home, when In was an R.A. Both are wonderful schools, but I agree, that I would prefer to have my D at a smaller LAC, over a large university. Being a former longtime Californian, I know getting into Berkley is a big deal, and your D should be very proud of getting in. It’s so difficult to gain admission, I’m a bit surprised your knows a lot of people going there. I only know one person whose kid got in to Cal. Most of the UCs are so difficult now, your D should be proud of all her accomplishments! Good luck with the decision!
Thanks to everyone for all of your great input. She had the portal up all evening and finally hit the button. It’s SMITH!
i had this exact dilemma! granted, i was accepted into UCSD and UCD and waitlisted at berkeley. i opted in at the waitlist in berkeley, so it’s unknown as to whether or not i will be admitted. this was mostly due to financial reasons (smith costs twice as much as the UCs; but smith still gave generous financial aid). i was also guilty about wanting to choose smith because this is coming out of my parents’ pocket.
i was leaning more towards smith because i simply wouldn’t receive as much attention as i would if i went to uc; and if i was accepted at cal-- though it’s an amazing school with an outstanding reputation-- i could see myself easily slipping through the cracks. plus the social environment at smith is completely different because it’s so small, and that’s what i wanted–a female community devoted to empowerment and leadership. oh and how could i forget the housing situation (ucb is infamous for bad dorming) and the open curriculum. one pro about UCB though is how much more diversity there is and also my brother lives in california so i will be able to visit somebody easily over breaks. the academics/professors are incredible.
my parents assured me they were willing to invest, so i committed to smith. if cal comes through, i’m 95% sure i will still choose smith. the 5% of me feels torn because i wonder if the financial investment is worth it when i know i can receive an amazing education at either school.
congratulations to your daughter, maybe i will see her in fall!
ah i forgot to add! if your daughter wants to message me or anything i can totally talk to her because i have the SAME exact sentiments as her about finding my niche at smith. i’m californian, liberal (but not extremely PC as of now, though i’m sure smith will educate me about that), POC, and low-income.
edit-- LOL, another thing to add! your daughter shouldn’t have concerns about leading a conservative lifestyle. i’ve talked to many students and they say it’s very easy to stray away from partying and all that stuff. and i hate to play stereotypes, but i heard green street is good for that (anyone wanna check me on that?)
Green St has that reputation because it is near the science buildings and supposedly is popular with the intense types. Don’t know if it is true. The Quad is also stereotyped as being louder and more social and has more singles. My kid did not want that because of the distance to the science buildings, but she didn’t choose Green St. I think there is a way to see floor plans on line to help with figuring things out. It is harder to find out other things such as Capen having a beautiful garden. Also check the descriptions of dining halls particularly if the student is vegan, Kosher, etc so that you can be near your specific dining preference.