Gosh. My son is Asian (adopted from Korea) and the schools he visited and interviewed at where he was definitely an URM practically drooled over him and he got way more money at the school he chose (need based only school) then our EFC suggested.
Well he doesn’t need to make a decision till April and EA isn’t binding. I suspect the guy thought your son was part oft the conversation, but that still doesn’t mean he couldn’t have been pleasanter. I’d definintely dig more and figure out how much this person is likely to interact with your kid before making final decisions.
First off, you are approaching this as reasonably as you can and with awareness, while trying to be rational. Kudos.
Of course, in life, we wonder what it is that sometimes triggers various reactions. Of course, we have been subject to odd behaviors and challenges. Of course, there are sensitivities. And yes, there are a**holes out there.
But I just doubt this one person’s momentary actions reflect a universal attitude/policy at the college (unless it is some extreme outlier school, where everyone is homogenous on purpose. Some religious colleges come to mind.) Or even in his own mind. If it didn’t feel right, by all means, be Mama Bear, help your son with alternatives.
Yes, many of Asian descent want a medical or other STEM future. So be it. So many of them are working hard, adding experiences, growing, in the best ways possible. Anyone savvy looks at the individual, not the superficials. Anyone who looks at college applicants knows there is a strong level of accomplishment, as well as personal qualities, not to be dismissed. That includes adcoms and faculty.
If this school feels wrong, it feels wrong. Just understand none of us know the “why” behind this incident.
My girls are also multicultural and, believe me, my filters and antennae were up, throughout the process. The “similar weird incident” I mentioned back in post 12 was my own boss’s boss at the U, a man I know to be supremely fair and square, delighted by kids, respected across the profession. And yet, he not only had few words for her, he barely spoke to me. No one else was lined up. These things can sometimes happen, we don’t always know why. Best wishes.
enjoythejourney: After JHS’s post and your response, I’m just curious and although you didn’t hear the whole thing, what did you hear with regard to the question the previous student asked? If you are willing to share?
@ChangLa: I hear you.
@Momofthreeboys: “maybe it was a minority issue, but I doubt it frankly,” and
“if this one person is a racist, which I highly doubt,” and
"who categorizes themselves as a “minority,” and, finally,
“it also sometimes feels like that could be come a “reason” for things that have nothing to do with the minority status”
simply make me wonder if you have ever considered the vantage point, both personal and historical, of the non-Caucasian in this country. Each of these statements smacks of an air that is telling of a general disregard for when this issue is discussed, or grievances aired.
The core of your comments suggest the moment may have been one rife with poor training, or false perceptions and subsequent assumptions by the advisor, and in that echo, if not presage, that tone of subsequent comments, at least one of which the OP “liked”.
It is, just so you know, the types of comments like those I have highlighted above that can quickly, when issued in one conversation by one person, convince a person of color to shun seeking counsel from anyone who speaks with such a a broad hand of the brush-off.
Alittle touchy? The OP just divulged another reason that they might have gotten a short response, pre-med is not a major…the kiddo could major in International Studies and STILL go to med school.
Lots of parents of college applicants (though probably not the OP) don’t yet understand premed isn’t a major or minor. That misconception isn’t reason to be dismissive of a student who has been invited to campus to participate in a recruiting event. It might be a reason to hand the student off to another official who has more time to explain how it all works. And with a smile. If you are trying to entice students to apply. The point of lots of these programs is to buy students away from HYP. This takes a whole lot of smiles, as well as $$$.
I predict the school follows up with applicant this week. I predict if you ask about IA, that department will then call. I am assuming there is such a department?
Another possible reason (albeit inappropriate) for the Associate Dean to have acted that way may be that he inappropriately assumed that your son is not seriously considering attending his school and that he is considering it a safety school at best; therefore , a waste of his time. Again, inappropriate conclusion, but a possible reason.
The person definitely did not have their customer service hat on that day.
While I think the assistant/associate dean was an idiot not to take advantage of the recruitment event to help recruit your son, that second question is a bit of a mess. Were the two questions asked together? Asking the first one before going onto the second could have led to at least one good answer.
I agree with Cheddar. A lot of times people misundertand the question if it’s not short.
@momofthreeboys You are correct, pre-med on its own is not offered as a major. However at this institution it is offered as a co-major and they do refer to it as a Pre-Med Co-major. It is not a stand alone degree ;). They handed out a lot of information on the co-major. It was his main interest of IA that he couldn’t get any solid info on & was wanting to know who to speak with about. In the end, I’m thinking it doesn’t matter. Get accepted, then iron out kinks. No need to worry about kinks right now.
@alh I personally overheard ‘double major’ ‘pre-med’ ‘where do we…’ ‘How do we…’ And those are honestly all the words & phrases I caught. So yes, there was likely repetition of some answers. We were standing a good 5-6 ft back to be polite so in a room with so many people moving about in conversation, it was diffificult to catch much. We might have been better of just being pushy & ignoring personal space! Lol
@lookingforward It strikes me comical that in my own interactions, racial issues like these rarely even register for me anymore. But enter my child & all of a sudden these foreign (to me) concerns spring out of the oddest situations.
@GirlChild I hit ‘like’ mostly as a thanks for responding sort of acknowledgement. Respect for everyone’s opinion & time taken to respond since I’m reading everything but not responding to every comment 
I do agree that unless presented in a similar situation, you just can’t understand how things are received regardless of intent. Heck, in a professional setting, as the professional, I once had someone ask me ‘So what kind of Oriental are you? Never seen one that looks like you before’ !!! The gentleman was obviously NOT trying to be demeaning or condescending, but really was attempting to be polite in relation to the area he lived in & in relation to the generation he was raised in. I LITERALLY busted out laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes when he asked me this! He truly did not understand the absurdity of how & what he asked & was trying to be polite & the whole thing just made me laugh so hard. Perception is that funny, odd thing that you just can’t always predict.
Thank you. I absolutely agree with you it didn’t matter if he had answered someone else’s similar question, that he still owed your son the very same courtesy. Please let us know if there is follow-up from your visit. I am really interested now. 
@alh yes, there is such a department. I didn’t realize it was a common thing to have follow up communication after these sort of events. That would prove an interesting opportunity to get clarification.
@carolinamom2boys My son isn’t concerned whatsoever, but yes, I have considered the potential for Tufts Syndrome (if I’m using the term correctly!). As a mom, I feel obligated to say… It’ll be their loss if they let him get away! Lol
@CheddarcheeseMN Unfortunately, yes they were asked together. I’ve advised my son to just completely drop any & all mention of pre-med anything from this point on. Not out of dishonest intent, but so this doesn’t keep happening since he really is only serious about IA at the moment
Schools had professors in the depts in which my kids had expressed interest call them to ask if they could answer any questions. Maybe they don’t have any “official” information on your son indicating major yet? That would be necessary for that sort of call. Still, I think I would expect some sort of follow-up. I am interested to hear. Others here know lots more about how this all works than I do.
Best of luck to you!!!
It’s possible pre-med program at that school is not very successful and the dean did not want to address. Regardless how college admission officials brag about their programs, parents and students should make some independent verification. If your son is concerned about pre-med he should search the school website and google the pre-med admittance rate from that school. If the rate is a lot higher than the national average (around 45%) then it’s good.
OP - you say that you were worn out and tired and cut your circuit a bit short because of it. Might this guy also have been worn out and tired? Maybe there’s something more too it, but I wouldn’t jump to reading in the worst.
As for “Tufts Syndrome” and safety schools if this was a special event for high achieving students they would be expecting to be addressing questions from high achieving students. They are luring these students with $$$$ and have no reason to suspect that your son would not want to attend if he wants those merit $$$$. Lots of kids do that (mine included). If you want merit money you aim a bit lower down the totem pole of prestige. Your son would not be the first to do it. It’s why those scholarships exist.
Don’t the kids usually fill something out when they go to these special days which ask intended major/interests? That’s how they get the info to make calls after, no?
OP, my son had a similar experience at an invitation event to a school where he had actually been provisionally accepted as a junior. We had been to an Honors seminar where the presenter prided herself on that her entire family had attended the Honors program at one time or another and that she was now employed by the program. She also went on to say that engagement in ECs and leadership in HS is important . In the next breath she said that her daughter had started a club and that the club had never met, but it demonstrated leadership, and she made it into the program. Later in the day, my son had some further questions so we approached her at the info fair in another part of the school. She pretty much answered every question that my son asked with the following statements" Everyone has that"
“Everyone does that” or my favorite " What makes you so special ?" After several minutes of this exchange, a student stepped in and told
My son to spend a lot of time on his essays to showcase his strengths. Was she out of line? yes. Did she make assumptions she shouldn’t have ?Yes. But her mistake was she underestimated my son’s ability to read people and make his own judgements. He was not deterred. He’s applied , and is waiting to see if he’s accepted. He made the decision that he was not going to let one person he barely knew have that much control over his future decisions. Interesting thing. We returned to the school recently for an Honors reception and info session , and she was nowhere to be found. I understand the awakening of momma bear. I’ve experienced it myself. And your right, their loss if they let him get away.