I haven’t kept up with all of the responses, but one thing to keep in mind is that info sessions are really meant for addressing very generic, typical to most student scenarios. Detailed questions that are more student specific really should be addressed via a different approach.
Have your son email with clearly worded questions and see if someone follows up and offers the assistance he needs.
@Mom2aphysicsgeek Love your screen name, btw!
Edited - almost all of my response disappeared when I hit save comment! Ugh.
Basically, he’d actually emailed the listed more info contact person for the department 2wks prior to our visit (2nd visit in total). Didn’t get a response.
And although he filled out the paperwork before hand, his name tag listed him as Undecided. So maybe a clerical error is contributing to the lack of love from this school???
No way to know anything for sure about anything right now. So we’ll see how it all plays out in the end. Only a couple months & this dating game will be over & we all can finally relax & enjoy the last few months together without all these deadlines, uncertainties, & stress!
Wow, 3, just keep driving that home.
If being “one of the few non-Caucasian” families bothers you and your child, go to a college that does not have that issue. Recently there was an article posted about colleges which are the most diverse in the US; then again, maybe you would want a majority minority university…
@GirlChild You know what’s interesting about his whole diversity situation? He hasn’t written one single diversity essay about it! His diversity concerns has more to do with other types of diversity that don’t have anything to do with ethnicity! Lol! Crazy kid…
enjoythejourney: my children are assumed to have hook URM status, and do not have a single “hook”-type story to tell that is a reflection of the designation. It has been an issue for them when applying to programs that seek to magnify the inclusivity of the campus community by requesting an applicant’s “influenced by your culture/race” tale. You should see the magnificent piece my son wrote for one such program. It will knock your socks off. I really hope it made the officials of the program reconsider asking “diversity” candidates to speak about a framework and foundation that are significantly different than the majority group. I don’t believe there are. I believe there are differences that happen at the family-level, or within worship practices, that may transmit particular-to-these-people aspects of diversity among an incoming group of American students, but in a larger sense, I really know they are similarly influenced by media, moguls, madness and hormones.
I only remember my S having to write one essay about diversity. It was for a $30k a year scholarship. He didn’t want to apply for it but we told him if he didn’t someone else would and $30k a year is nothing to sneeze at. So he wrote it. I have no idea what he wrote ( we never read any of his essays) but he got the scholarship. In the end he decided not to attend but if he hadn’t gotten into first choice this was his second.
Holy wow! 30k is NICE!
And my son has written 2 diversity essays for very different purposes so he couldn’t really just edit one to fit. I believe he has 2 more to go but will likely just modify one of the 2 to fit. If nothing else, this whole process is making him think in very new ways & to become REALLY experienced in application essay writing! Lol
Is it possible that the assistant dean had a reason for interacting with the other student that wasn’t clear to you? Perhaps it was the child of a friend, colleague or a student he somehow knew previously, hence the reason for the extended attention.
OP, I bet you got the brush off for a completely innocuous reason, like the Dean had to be somewhere and was running late. However, he handled it badly and now you have to be sure that this isn’t typical of the admin.
I say let your child apply but have his antenna out to sense what the culture is like. Maybe the admin is curt with Asians. Maybe the admin is curt with everybody. It is too bad they left such a bad impression. I like the idea above of writing and asking your questions with no accusatory reference to the earlier meeting.
You stated that this school has a Pre-med co-major. Unless the dean/academic advisor who you feel snubbed your son, was the pre-med advisor, what exactly were you expecting him to tell you about the program? Personally, I would not expect a sufficient answer from someone who wasn’t part of the pre-med co-major. If he is the dean/academic advisor for IA and you state the pre-med co-major is new perhaps he did not have enough information to provide you a sufficient answer as how his department and the pre-med co-major are integrated (JMHO).
This by no means justifies him being rude, but you also don’t know how many times he could have been previously asked the same question about, which may not have been part of his talking point for the program that he was there to talk about-IA. At the end of the day, we are all people, who are imperfect, make mistakes and sometimes don’t always show our best moments. Yes, he missed his opportunity to smile and nod.
You must also ask yourself did your son really have a question that could not be found on the school’s website. If he is looking to seek clarification about something, perhaps the answer that he seeks could be found if his follow up email is directed to pre-med/pre-health studies group.
I would communicate with the guy and if that wasn’t productive, I would tell admissions about this. Not for punitive reasons but to give the school a chance. It would be a shame for your son to think negatively as a result of the behavior of this one person, and there may have been some reason for it that is not apparent (not excusable, but a reason). I doubt very much that racism is a factor.
I would STRONGLY advise you NOT communicate directly with the Dean at this time. That can come back and bite your DS in the butt, in case that he decides he does end up wanting to go there.
Let it go.
The school will have a second chance IF he is accepted there.
Don’t sabotage that possibility with a complaint about a perceived insult.
The next time he visits, he, and he alone will be the one expected to ask any questions, not you.
I think your mama bear antennae were set on a too sensitive setting and were too ready to pick up any “slight”.
OP’s right to have some red flags up. If the dean in an information session meant to woo invited highly desirable students away from elite colleges and to answer their questions, the dean is totally out of line even if he/she was having a bad day.
As someone assigned to present information about the school, answer student questions, and to otherwise put the college’s best face forward for prospective students INVITED to attend in order to sell the school, the dean’s actions here fell flat on all counts.
Worse, he/she didn’t answer the student’s question and was RUDE about it. Whether he/she was having a bad day, in a hurry, or whatever other excuse commenters here want to toss out, that’s irrelevant for the OP. It’s not her responsibility nor should it be her concern/problem if those were the factors.
Moreover, if those were the factors…the dean failed as he/she effectively made his/her personal problem OP’s and his/her student’s problem. Don’t know about you…but such offloading of personal problems on others…especially in customer service/interacting contexts is very poor form at the very least. People like OP’s and his/her son who are potential students shouldn’t be obligated to feel sympathetic or understand if their being treated rudely was due to the “dean’s having an off-day”. Not their problem and they shouldn’t feel obligated to consider that. After all, they didn’t legitimately cause the dean to have an off-day.
If asking a question…even a repetitive/dumb question in this context does cause such an off day, said dean either needs to be reassigned to a position where he/she never deals with students/parents or consider looking for another position where this isn’t an issue. Being asked repetitive or sometimes even dumb questions is a core part of the admin’s job whether it’s admissions staff or the college’s deans.
I think “dean” blowoffs are not unsusual. When my DD and I were visiting Wellesley, the admissions officer spent all of her time talking to a father about why girl colleges are good. She ignored the two mothers (me and another) and daughters waiting to ask questions pertinent to our daughters’ eager applications. We never got to ask them because she only finished with him when it was time to leave on the tour.
We lost all interest in Wellesley, though they did offer decent financial aid.
It happens, a lot more often that it should. It feels like some of these AOs/deans don’t really believe in these events, and they’ve done it so many times that these events have become a routine or formality to them, never minding how it feels to to parents/students who are going through it the first time. Bottom line - these are marketing events, done lousily a lot of times. Don’t take them too seriously and don’t use the audience care standards you have witnessed from Disney shows! 
I agree that it is not a good idea for a Asian looking kid to talk about pre-med. Never mind that the country needs physicians and the whole world needs world class scientists to cure modern day ailments.
“This school had made its way to my child’s #1 choice despite the fact it is the lowest overall nationally ranked school on his list.”
Perhaps you are fixated on “prestige” and were looking for a reason for your child not to like this school, to increase the odds they land at a higher ranked school.
We had terrible admissions event experience and nearly made the mistake of blowing off a school. After visiting for a student event DD loved school and attended. So did DS. PLEASE - don’t let one person, a few administrators, etc, put you off a school.
Really? You and your son research the school, visit, it’s his top choice and you may eliminate it based on a two sentence exchange with an associate dean?
Did your son speak to any current or past students? Minority students? Did he sit in on a class? Visit overnight? I’d suggest the feedback from these activities are much more important.
My suggestion is to have your son collect information about he school from other channels (including some of the activities I mention above) and move on.