<p>There really is no excuse on your son’s part. All of the information is easily accessible online via his student portal. Also, one doesn’t simply get sent a diploma once all of the requirements are completed. There is a process which includes completing and submitting a diploma application/request. Again, all of this info is easily found on the college’s website.</p>
<p>I agree with you–the time has come for you to visually see the documentation of his degree progress. At this point in time, I wouldn’t take his word for it. </p>
<p>In the end, he is the one who needs to handle the situation. If he isn’t interested in doing so, let it go and let him deal with the consequences of his actions (or lack of).</p>
<p>Nothing wrong with asking for advice… insomniatic that seemed a bit harsh. Parents have a right to be concerned or to take direct involvement when the kid isn’t doing well. Unless the kid’s completely independent, which he obviously isn’t in this case.</p>
<p>It’s not harsh, it’s what most people would say and if you read last year’s thread, you would hear a lot of other “harsh” things.</p>
<p>This is the second year in a row that TacomaJoe asked for the same advice. This kid fooled his parents into getting them to think a diploma would take a year for it to arrive. Give me a break.</p>
<p>Can’t he give you permission so that the school will talk with you? I’m sure it’s just a form he has to sign. I’d be more proactive on this–I don’t care how much I get flamed as a helicopter parent. One year of basically being in the same spot by trusting your kid to get 'er done is way more than I’d care to experience. </p>
<p>I’d have him sit down and open the portal with you watching and then I’d examine exactly what the heck he needs to graduate. If he won’t take the classes, well, then that you really can’t force him to do that…But I’d want to know exactly what the true story is.</p>
<p>I agree with ellemenope. Whether your son is 4 or 24 you are his parent. You care about him, You are concerned about him. You want to understand if he’s been pulling the wool over your eyes or truly needs your assistance. Please do not let the critical words of any one young adult deter you from following your gut as a parent. You are right to want to ask for input from the parents about what, as a parent to do. Maybe consider doing a conference call to the school so you and your son hear the same information simultaneously. Good luck!</p>
<p>I had access to D1’s academic portal while she was in school. I will do the same with D2 when she starts in the fall. Some parents may disagree, but I don’t like surprises.</p>
<p>In OP’s case, I would give the son a set period of time to get out and start supporting himself. If he has a degree it may be easier for him to get a job, without one he will have a little bit more difficult time, but at least it would be his choice on what he wants to do. While OP is supporting him, there is no incentive for him to rush it.</p>
<p>^^Yes, I second this. I must have access to my kids educational portal. I don’t use it much, except for paying the tuition bill, but I have it available to me in case there’s a problem. My D sits down with us each class registration time and shows us what she is planning on taking and how it impacts her progress.</p>
<p>^^^Same here, except I didn’t pay the tuition, they did! But having a second set of eyes helped with potential scheduling problems, registration issues/priority…led to some graduating early, second degrees with adding 1 or 2 more classes, an additional minor and some errrors that occured on the transcripts ie., AP exam scores=credits, letter grades vs. P/F and “new” graduation requirements.</p>
<p>In each of my kiddos’ college careers I had full access, why not they weren’t trying to hide anything and were extremely grateful when I figured out something they were not aware off. One discovery led to daughter graduating the summer before the scheduled May graduation, another a second degree, another an additional minor and graduating with highest honors…all from using the various “portals” and catalogs. Schools varied from in-state publics to OOS publics to ivys.</p>
<p>Was a win-win for all involved. And summer graduation led to the diploma being received in early September, about 2.5 weeks later.</p>
<p>So Joe have your son give you the info for his log-in for his portal and figure out what he is ACTUALLY missing and go from there. No blame. Just solve the problem. Quicker it is addressed and solved the happier you ALL will be. Good luck.</p>
<p>I am a couple of months away from sending my D to college, so I defer to those who have been through this. I expect, when the time comes, that I’ll want to strike a balance between letting my kid figure it out and intervening to help and, frankly, to protect my investment when things get hairy. Anyone who has successfully emerged into adulthood knows that the period from 18 (when adulthood is legally conferred upon a person) to the early and even late 20s is often fraught with some tough lessons. Parents are still allowed to help their kids learn during these years, yes? Regardless, if you are footing the bill, it is reasonable to assert yourself aggressively if need be. </p>
<p>Also: I’ve worked in higher education and have never observed graduation requirements to be particularly arcane. If the OP’s son hasn’t figured them out, there may be other forces at work (other than confusion about requirements). As a parent, I’d want to know what those other forces might be.</p>
<p>Son’s school had a program that they could run which would provide a report of what requirements had been met and what requirements remain. It also had a what-if option so that you could enter course numbers to see what impact the courses would have on requirements. Perhaps your son’s school has something like this. If not, then you might consider getting his transcript and working it out by hand from the requirements listed by his major department.</p>
<p>Been there, done that . . .
Just piping in to say that it is possible (less so in this computerized age) to miss a non major class. Back in the dark ages at giant flagship U we didn’t have a specific advisor. As upper division major candidates we were given a grad student advisor in our major. This advisor and our faculty advisor really focused on the in-major stuff. We discovered during my spring quarter senior year check out that I was missing the language requirement that had been added since I started. I was not grandfathered in. I had gone above and beyone in my major and other upper division things, but everyone missed this. I walked with my class and received the little diploma cover. I signed up for intensive Hebrew to try to wedge the 2 quarted requirement into summer - bad idea. Dropped it. I started grad school in the fall w/o actually having graduated. :eek: I took a quarter of German at the CC the following summer (had 3 yrs in HS) to fulfill the req. and transfered the credit. I actually graduated a full year after I “graduated”. It was a weird thing from start to finish with layers of bureaucracy and less easy access to current info than in these computerized days. It definitely took some cluelessness on my part to pull the whole thing off, but it CAN happen.</p>
<p>I vote for full disclosure and putting your oar in - I wish I had had more real adult guidance through the entire process.</p>
<p>In hindsight I should have dug my heels in months ago and asked to see his info. I’m digging my heels in now. He is our first son in college and we didn’t go to college, although that is no excuse for not getting the right information. He was a transfer student and there has been some confusion as to how that all meshes together. Sometimes I wonder if he was in the right major because math doesn’t come easy to him and he took a few classes twice. But, he insisted computer engineering is what he wanted to do. If anyone is interested, I will post an update of what I find out, good, bad or ugly!</p>
<p>D1 just graduated. Although she had a handle on it, I knew her passwords and all along I looked at the school, college and major graduation requirements, followed the degree “maps” on the website when she was picking classes and regularly printed out a “degree progress report”, to see how she was fairing. She graduated last month, and I even went to the website to make sure that the degree was conferred (with distinction!!).</p>
<p>Please do keep us posted, TacomaJoe. And don’t beat yourself up. You did, and are doing the right thing. </p>
<p>A friend of mine’s dau attends a Tech school. They changed the requirements for her major when she was half way through, and did not grandfather her in. So she is having to take an extra semester to graduate. Not fair, IMO, but nobody asked my opinion :)</p>
<p>I know nothing about this specific college, but as a general policy, push him to get the degree now. LOTS of schools either limit the # of years you can spend studying for a degree and/or change degree requirements. So, sometimes, delaying can make it harder or even impossible to get a degree (without starting over.)</p>
<p>I hope things are being resolved, with detailed accurate information from CSU Northridge. I would insist on the portal log on information. </p>
<p>Kudos to your S for stepping up to help with his grandfather’s illness. I know how major illness can impact a family, it doesn’t suprize me that things got set aside for a while. But now is time for clarity in all areas: how many classes, what are they, does he plan on finishing? And I would want the information straight from the college.</p>
<p>I’m not sure if all schools have the portals to check graduation requirements, but where they exists they are a great tool. (Double check against other docs too - DD found an error in the logic on her major). </p>
<p>My guess is that OP’s son didn’t mean to be deceitful. I think he screwed up, and he’s been to embarrassed to admit that he doesn’t know how to recover. It does sound like he has other redeeming qualities - kudos to him for helping out with his grandpa!</p>
<p>I appreciate the kind words and info. I am pretty relieved as of this moment. Someone sent me a PM this morning and said my son has flunked out and is just not telling us. I about panicked. I got together with my son this morning. I asked him to print out his Degree progress report and graduation plan. I have it here in my hands. I asked him to log into his portal on my computer and leave me the user name and password. We went over it together and what he told us is right. He has one lower division class and one upper division class in certain categories not met. I am disappointed that we didn’t see this last summer. Hindsight is 20/20. I am relieved though! I was fearing the worst!</p>
<p>The kid has over 180 credits. He needs 158 for his major and it says he’s met 151. There was obviously serious confusion going on here! I am not making excuses! Live and learn. He has a 3.30 GPA. I just learned that, by the way. I never asked for proof before. School has not come easy for him. He was the leader of his senior project and was really dedicated at Northridge. That is why I was puzzled as to his disorganization with this. He was embarrassed that it has come to this. When he went up last summer to take what was to be his last class, he said he just wanted to finish and make us proud. I have told him throughout these last months we are proud of him and love him no matter what. I am also glad he got to take care of his grandpa. It was much needed in our family. We would have had to hire someone we didn’t know to help him, otherwise. </p>
<p>Ahhh, I am breathing a sigh of relief tonight. I will be even more relieved when he gets enrolled in these classes. His job today was to find out times, schools, prices he could do this. Is it perfect? No, but hopefully I won’t be on here again with this situation! Thank you.</p>