<p>I came to the college that I never thought I'd attend after getting rejected from my first choice, second choice, third choice and so on. My current school is pretty prestigious and is well known academically but I just don't fit in here, size-wise, location-wise. I made many friends and I always manage to make a lot of friends wherever I go, it's just that I do not fit in with the School and I just feel unhappy in this atmosphere. So I was going to transfer for sure. But then, in the beginning of the semester, I got to know this person who I became to like very much and we were in a relationship and then something happened and we split. It had hurt me so much because I wasn't liking the school already, and then I met this person and became happy in a place where I thought I didn't belong and when he left, I felt like he took away everything from me. I don't even have an idea of what I want to do in the future, I don't even know what I want to major in and I wasn't liking my randomly selected classes too much. After he left, I had nothing to look forward to anymore in college. After the breakup, I was so miserable. Waking up in the morning was a pain because I didn't know how I would get through the day. I seriously, just wanted to die. I kept it all to myself because usually, I am perceived as a happy person by others and no one knew of our relationship at school and I didn't want others to know that he was the one to leave not me as it would hurt my pride. I couldn't tell anyone so every night I went out of my dorm to find a quiet place to cry. I started not going to classes and I went to take tests without studying at all. I used to be an A student in high school but I begin to fail so badly in college not because I am in college and college is harder than high school but because I didn't go to classes and I did not study for my tests. I would have done so much better, in fact, seeing the materials I feel like I could have even gotten an A if I actually studied but I am getting Ds, Cs and Fs. I just had no motivation to study. I even went to see a counselor. That didn't help much though. Now I have two weeks left of school and finals coming up. I guess now since I completely screwed up my first semester, i can't even think of transferring. I don't know. I don't know how I will stand next 3 and a half years here. I wish I had not met the guy and I wish I had not been so hurt. I realize now that I've been so stupid because the guy who left me is still doing well in school and is moving on with his life but I am failing because of him and I am even letting down my family who trusts me to do well because of that guy who now doesn't care if I exist or not. I am still very very sad. I've been sad over a month now.. Everyone who knows me well tells me I look so down these days but I don't want to fail at life this way. I want to be happy.
Do I still have hope in life? I screwed up. Will I get kicked out of college because my GPA? Can I still bring my grade up? How do I start ? From where?</p>
<p>Well, as it’s your first semester, if your college has the option for a complete withdrawal, you can leave without a transcript stained by D’s and F’s that wouldn’t provide any credits anyway. This would be especially useful if you don’t wish to stay at your current university. However, make sure your feelings about the university are distinguished from your relationship issues. How’s the financial situation with your family? </p>
<p>If you don’t have to rely on a current financial aid/scholarship package, I would simply re-apply for college beginning next fall (you’ll have a month or so to complete January deadlines, and you should have all of the material easily accessible as it’s only been a year). You’ll have to research this, but I believe you are only forced to submit as a transfer if you have college credit, and by withdrawing you wouldn’t have any credits, meaning that you effectively would’ve taken a gap year of sorts. You’ll have to address the situation when writing your applications, so think of some way to frame it as a personal growth story. You’ve now learned that trying to rely on external things (e.g., relationships) for happiness is unreliable.</p>
<p>How long ago did this breakup take place? I can fully sympathize with your feelings, especially if it occurred within the last few weeks. Try to find other activities to throw yourself into: sports, exercise, reading, etc. Meet new people, spend time with friends, try to think about other guys (as special as your ex may have once seemed, objectively speaking he is not at all unique, nor the highest value person you’re likely to ever meet). After a month or so you should feel much better about things.</p>
<p>So, withdraw, reevaluate where you want to attend, and go somewhere you’ll actually be happy. What’s done is done, now you need to make the best of the future, not dwell on any past disappointments. Be honest with your parents, but put the problem behind you and look toward next year. You’re not behind, and it’s far better to have gone through this situation in your first semester than half-way through. And it’s also far better to withdraw and have the chance to explain than fail.</p>
<p>It may be humbling for you, but move back home and take classes at your local community college, get your grades up and transfer to a different school in a year or two. If you transfer back to a community college, your first semester grades won’t affect you.</p>
<p>There’s no sense being in a place that you don’t want to be at.</p>
<p>Well, first things first, of course there’s hope in life. Even if you dropped out, there’s still a lot to look forward to in life. It sounds like a lot of what you don’t like about this school is the guy? If that’s the case, then just do your best to forget about him. I’ve been through some break ups before and things always get better, even if they seem like it’s impossible for them to.</p>
<p>It may be you meet someone else, it may be you find a good friend, but something good will happen eventually.</p>
<p>Sorry to get philosophical, but I think life goes up and down over and over. Sometimes you feel great and nothing can get you down, and then you have the worst things happen to you all at once. I don’t know if you should transfer or not, but just keep on and things will look up again no matter what you choose to do.</p>
<p>In regards to your grades, if you do everything in your power to get them up, you can salvage a lot more than you might think. Bug the hell out of your professors about anything you can do for your grades, it’s a rare jerk that will tell you that you’re totally screwed. And don’t worry, everyone on the planet get a worse GPA their first semester in college than they did throughout high school, it’s not the end of the world, and at worst most colleges put you on probation for a semester before kicking you out if you totally fail everything.</p>
<p>Don’t give up–you’re not alone! So many people don’t do well their first semester, for so many different reasons. This is even true for many people like you who were great students in high school! I personally went through similar things when I was first starting out. Now I’m a happily married mom who is successful at my job. As for the school where you are–it just sounds like it isn’t a good fit for you, even though other people may see it as being prestigious. Do the best you can with your exams this semester, and don’t be too hard on yourself. See the counselor again, or ask to see a different counselor if you don’t click with that one. A lot of people experience a big heartbreak when they start out as college freshmen. This certainly doesn’t mean you can’t go on and be very successful and happy in life! Even though it may be hard to believe it right now, you will someday experience happiness again! You will go on to have other happy relationships, and your present disappointment will just make you stronger and will help you appreciate and value your future happy experiences even more! As for school–many schools will allow you to repeat classes in which you get a D or F grade. After you repeat the class and earn a better grade, only the new grade is used in calculating your GPA. Hang in there, and let us know how you’re doing and if there’s anything we can do to help!</p>