<p>I graduated high school last year and started college as an incoming freshmen about a few weeks ago. Although the college was never my first choice, I was okay with it at first. In fact, I only ended up there, because it was the only school that accepted me who got waitlistedd/rejected at all the other top schools. Nevertheless, It's supposedly a quite decent school... It's fairly prestigious, nationally recognized, and it's one of CC's listed top schools whose name I will not specify here. So I thought I'd give it a shot and went there... thinking "oh, it's only for four years, I'll suck it up and deal with it."
So I had my doubts from the beginning, you could say that, but the thing is I loathe this place now EVEN MORE THAN EVER. There are soooooo many reasons, I can't explain them all, as that is not the point of this thread, but I assure you that they are reasonable and that I just can't. be. here.<br>
I feel like I'm gradually becoming suicidal/insane, and the only thing I can think about 24/7 is what if I were at other schools... somewhere I don't have to cry myself to sleep every night and regret about 'oh what if I did this last year, what if I applied here..' At this point, I'd really like nothing more than a second choice, desperately, so I found a withdrawal form from the Deans this morning and filled it out.
So here's the gist of my thread...
I want to leave this hell hole and reapply to other schools for the Class of 2013. I don't want to consider transfer, because I don't even think I can wait that long. My parents are freaking out, of course, and I'm all of a sudden getting personal emails from my old high school teachers, advising me NOT to do it, telling me that I will never get into a good college like this one, because this year is so much more competitive. </p>
<p>But I'm still going to. </p>
<p>The real issue is though how would colleges perceive this? I know very specifically where I want to apply. With ED of course. I looked through all the other threads on gap years about "giving it a second chance," but I don't think my situation is quite the same. I spent my summer doing nothing particular, nothing that will increase my credentials as yet another competitive applicant of Class of 2009. Early Decision date is November 15th. What can I possibly do during this time from now on till then if I were to reapply??????? Is applying to colleges AFTEr high school graduation really that crazy? I also nailed down some CRAPPY grades during my final senior year at high school, and I believe the colleges will undoubtedly see those? Would that ruin my chance completely?!!!!!!! </p>
<p>Sorry this post is ridiculously long, well no one is forcing anyone to read it, so I guess that's okay, but it's a serious dilemma to me, and it's keeping me awake so late at night!!! You could criticize me for being weak or not patient enough to give it more time.... but I am also trying to be a bit braver than my usual meek self and take a risk. Withdrawing seems easy enough - College wasn't what I expected it to be, so that's it - but trying to go through te admission process that rejected me already once is making me worried to death.</p>
<p>Truthfully it sounds as if you went into this school expecting to hate it. You know, not everyone is ready to move off and go to a 4 year college immediately after high school. Have you ever thought of attending a local community college to get your AA and then transfer to a more prestigious 4 year school on completion of your AA. I don't know of any employer who is going to care that you started off at a CC; they are only going to look at where you graduated from. It sounds as if you are pretty depressed and no matter what anyone says, the most important thing is to maintain your health. Even if you decide to withdraw and reapply, you might continue w/ classes at a CC until you restart at a 4 year. At least you could get some of your GE out of the way. You are the best person to know what is right for you. While you probably haven't given your school enough of a chance yet, if you know this is not what you want, don't waste your time or your parent's money.</p>
<p>You need to check with your current school about what withdrawing will do on your transcript. I am not very knowledgeable about this (perhaps someone will read this and chime in) but when my son withdrew from classes after the drop period he ended up with Ws on his transcript. They may follow you to another school - not sure if this is the case when you withdraw completely from the school but you need to check.</p>
<p>The combination of bad senior year grades and dropping from your current college could make it getting into a competitive school difficult. (I assume you are talking about a competitive school because of the ED application). The fact that you say college is not what you expected it to be does sound problematic. If you do go through with this you need to have a back up plan of an easier to get into school where you think you may be happy.</p>
<p>In reality it sounds like you need to sit down with an adviser or counselor and get some really expert advice and guidance face to face from someone knowledgeable rather than from a web site. </p>
<p>Rather than reapplying as a incoming freshman (which you may or may not be considered now that you've begun college), you may be better off staying at your current college for one year. If you can pull good grades, you might have an easier time transferring to another "good" school from your current "quite decent school'. If you drop out and reapply as an incoming freshman, colleges will definitely look at your senior year grades and want to know WHY you are doing a gap year. </p>
<p>A change in attitude can make a huge difference so look at it as needing to put in just one year where you are. You may even decide after a year that your current school isn't so bad - especially if you don't get accepted as a transfer... </p>
<p>Even if you are successful in applying somewhere else for next fall, you will have lost this year school wise. By staying and transferring, you can stay on track to graduate on time and it gives you a fall back if the transfer does not work out. If you drop out, you have No fall back and may need to start at your county college.</p>
<p>For me, it would be important to state why you hate your current school so much. It is important because you will have to explain it on your application at some point, and it should be something that people could understand. It is similar to when I interview people for a job, I would want to know why they want to leave their current position. </p>
<p>If I were your parents, I would be concerned if you would feel the same way about the new school. People on this forum talk a lot about "fit." I am more skeptical about it because I believe no matter what school (environment) you are at, there will always be people you could like and dislike. Some schools have more Greek life, some schools are more artsy, and some are more preppy. But you could always find some people that do not fit into those profile at any school.</p>
<p>My daughter is at a school in the middle of nowhere with freezing weather. She wanted to go to a school in NYC, Boston, or somewhere south where it's warmer. It is school she was not considering (I put it on her list), and she also did try to aim higher but was rejected at those schools. The difference between you and her is that over her senior summer, she really tried to be psyched for her school, she went to her school with an open mind, and she kept up her senior grades in preparation for transfer, if necessary. She also did question her college application strategy, but she let it go after we put down the deposit. In her case, it turned out to be a happy ending - loves her school, couldn't imagine be anywhere else.</p>
<p>My advise is to suck it up for year, just focus on your grades, then apply as a transfer. A year would go by very fast. I would also try to talk to a counselor because no matter how bad you feel about your school, you shouldn't feel suicidal or insane. This is not an unsolvable problem - you would either grow to like your current school, or you could be at a different school next year.</p>
<p>I didn't attend my top choice school, in fact I had 4 rejects, 3 waitlists and only two acceptances, and it strikes me things could have turned out much differently (for the worse) had I treated it with a "suck-it-up" attitude. In fact, I had that attitude for high school -- in retrospect it is why I did so poorly.</p>
<p>Starting over as a freshman may not be possible as someone said above. My daughter's school (not a CC uni) will post W on your transcript for any class you withdraw from after Add/Drop period. Basically after Adds/Drop you have a transcript and cannot apply elsewhere as a first timer.</p>
<p>I wish you luck, but maybe sticking it out for this semester or year may be your best option.</p>
<p>Without knowing you, or the reasons you hate the school so much...do you really think you have given it a fair chance? In our local paper a few weeks ago they had a great article about the angst and adjustments of college for new freshman and they said on average it takes about three and a half weeks for students to feel like they are finding their way, fitting in, getting the lay of the land,etc....I paid particular interest to this article as my own son I suspected maybe was a little anxious.
I will say that my best friends daughter also started school a little over two weeks ago, and up until about 3 days ago called and texted her mom daily telling her that she was going to drop out, take a year off, and that she could not stand the school, the kids, the atmosphere, that she had made a major mistake,etc...needless to say this caused my friend great distress. They finally came up with a resolution which was for her to wait it out until the end of Sept. ironically she found a club for outdoor hiking which she is very into, and bingo she met others just like herself and immediately immersed herself into this club and the outings planned in the coming weeks. Suddenly in a few days, she started telling her mom that it may work afterall, and that she was excited to meet a group interested in something that she loves. Sometimes it is just one connection that is needed to get that "spark" that many are searching for. This is a big step, perhaps the biggest one you will have taken so far in your young life, in fact most kids go through an adjustment period that will take weeks to make. You are not alone by any stretch, how about giving it a little time and looking into something like a club or organization that is important or enjoyable to you? You will no doubt meet an instant network of other students, all new just like you.
All that said, if you do decide in the end this is just not for you.....proceed with caution. Perhaps consult your hs counselor if you have a good relationship, and ask your college office how they handle early withdrawals, every school has a different cutoff period.
The other thing that is very important is your mention of depressions/suicide, if in fact you are feeling that strongly, PLEASE PLEASE speak to someone, your parents, a friend, a school counselor, those are very serious emotions and warrant attention and action. It is so liberating to be able to speak to someone about how you are feeling...please take advantage of all the many many resources that every college offers, and do speak to someone. Trust me there are many many kids going through the same emotions you are.
But with my limited experience, my gut says try to give it a little more time...it is still so early in the year. Almost every school has something for almost everyone.....you have to find it. Good luck to you nonetheless and try to keep us posted.</p>
<p>You should get face-to-face counselling (not online) regarding your verious issues and how they will affect what you chose to do in cluding those at your current school. Basically you need to really understand your options and risks before you do something. The face-to-face will let you explore things more deeply. Good luck.</p>
<p>hikids is right. You need to go see your advisor tomorrow and find out the proper steps you need to take to withdraw from the college. The campus counseling/student health office may be helpful too. You need to find out why you are so angry and sad. The roots of your anger and sadness may have nothing to do with your college at all, but rather to other factors in your life. A well planned medical withdrawal, and a semester or year at home, may be exactly what you need right now.</p>
<p>Please let us know how things work out. We will all be thinking of you.</p>
<p>There is no major college all that bad. As others have said, you have some issues to deal with. Get some help. The problems are not within the school.</p>
<p>You started college a few weeks ago and don't like it. Give it a semester and then make decisions. You could be in bad classes, have a crappy roommate, not be acclimated, or you could just be not cut out for college. A different school wouldn't necessary change all of those things.</p>
<p>I strongly urge you to get in touch with the pyschological support services at your school. There is a good chance you are clinically depressed and it is urgent that you be assessed and treated if indicated. Depressed folks do not process in their normal fashion, so hold off making any irreversible decisions until you are feeling better about life and yourself. Seek help today!! You sound like a sweet and very smart young man, but sometimes even capable people get emotionally off kilter and need help.</p>
<p>I second calgal's suggestion to get professional mental health help. I would suspect that part of your panic and fear is that you don't see any other option and are afraid you'll be ruined for life. You are 19 years old. The big scheme of your life will not be ruined by withdrawing from a school that is making you unhappy. If you end up next year, or the year after, at a "lesser school", so what? You will be fine. Don't beat yourself up over this. You're young.</p>
<p>OP - trust me on this: your issue is not your school. Something is going on in your mind, probably brain actually, that is coloring your view of everything. I don't know this for a fact, but simply reading your post gives me this impression. Each of us has emotions, feelings, that are chemically governed. Yes, emotions and feelings are physical. It's brain chemistry. I sense from your tone that this may be the case.</p>
<p>It is not personal, any more than adult onset allegies, or phobia of public places, or poor circulation. These are all physically based hurdles many people face that often first present themselves well after childhood.</p>
<p>If I am wrong, so be it. But you need to investigate whether there has been a change in your brain chemistry over the past two years. The brain is just another part of the body that needs diagnosing and fixing if it gets out of kilter.</p>
<p>P.S. In answer to your question about how prestigious colleges would view this... probably exactly as I did. Procedurally, I don't know of a college that accepts freshmen who already officially enrolled at another college. It's either out of high school, or transfer at junior status from another university, or community college.</p>
<p>Hope things are going better for you. Sometimes a change in your perspective can be brought about by something as simple as a change in your living situation. Find out if you can change dormitories. You may be surprised to meet a totally new group of people you feel more comfortable with. Also, try to focus on the courses and to enjoy your learning experience as much as possible. The first year is often tough, but it's worth giving it a real chance before you decide to leave. Hope this reply isn't too late!</p>
<p>You seem to be experiencing a great deal of distress.</p>
<p>I don't think this is an issue for a discussion board. I'd suggest you make an appointment with someone you trust (your priest/rabbi/minister, perhaps, or your physician) and tell them what you're telling us, plus your reasons for wanting to withdraw from school. He/she may tell you that that withdrawing from school is the right thing for you to do. </p>
<p>The folks on this board don't know you well enough to give you sound advice, and you have wisely elected not to post all of the relevant personal information in a public forum.</p>
<p>It's much more important that you look after your health and wellbeing than it is to worry about how others will look at your decision.</p>
<p>yeah right. i see all people give you advice about how to deal with college and how to overcome the quandaries. But I think you also need to clear your mind. Dont think you hate it. once you think you hate your school everyday, it makes you feel angry. many people even need to have 1 year to discover everything at college. Freshmen seem to be so new to college life. maybe you belong to the group that suffers "college life shock " :D</p>
<p>i'd be happy going to any one of the CC top universities list. You really need to rethink what you're doing, and make sure you're not taking anything for granted. Because if you're some snob and think you should've gotten into a better school, and now you're becoming insane because you can't live there, well you might as well quit college and ruin your life.</p>