Really hating college... what do I do?

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>I go to the University of Wisconsin- Madison, and I'm a freshman in my first semester. It has always been the school I wanted to go to for a long time. Home is about 2-2 1/2 hours away, and I never really wanted to go any farther than that; Madison seemed just the right distance so I wouldn't be too close to home.</p>

<p>In high school, I was your stereotypical good student. I got mostly straight A's and graduated with a 3.96 GPA and highest honors. I took multiple AP courses and was in the National Honor Society. I did everything I could to make myself look my best for college admissions so I could come here. I applied last fall and was accepted with early admission, so I knew right away I would be coming here and I couldn't have been more excited for senior year to be over so I could start college, finally. I wanted to get away from home as fast as I possibly could. My boyfriend of almost 2 years that is in the class ahead of me also goes to school here; I didn't come here just for him, I'd always wanted to go here, so the fact that he ended up going here too was a bonus. After spending last year in a long distance relationship, I was excited to be together again in college.</p>

<p>The problem with all of this is that I absolutely hate it here. I miss home more than anything, and I find myself in tears almost every night because I just want to go home. I hate living in the dorms; I even have a single dorm because I have always liked my own space and I dreaded having a roommate, but I still hate it even with the privacy. The people on my floor are obnoxious; some run screaming and yelling down the hallways and the guy next door to me plays about 5 different instruments really poorly at all hours of the day and night and makes it impossible for me to study or sleep. Even though I have my own room, I hate not really having my own space. I hate not having a real home here, with a bathroom and a comfy living room to relax in. I hate being stuck in just one room all the time. But next year, I'll probably be stuck in the dorms again too, so I can't just tell myself to get through one year of this and it will be over; I have at least another year of dorm life ahead of me.</p>

<p>I find it so hard to get out of bed in the morning for classes, even though I find some of my classes interesting. I do really dislike the classes that I'm only taking for gen ed's, but the couple I wanted to take I don't mind, yet I still hate dragging myself to class because I just want to lay in bed and sleep.</p>

<p>I've made a few friends here, but no close friends. I get to see my boyfriend fairly often, yet he doesn't understand how I'm feeling at all and when I try to talk about it, I just break down crying. He loves it here, so he can't relate to how horrible I feel all the time.</p>

<p>I just got back earlier this evening from Thanksgiving break, and as soon as my parents left after dropping me off, I broke down because it hit me that for the next month, I'm stuck here again. I just want to go home. There are a couple schools right by where I live that I could transfer to, and that I'm considering transferring to, but the thought of leaving the school I always wanted to go to is really upsetting. My whole family was so proud of me for coming here; my parents bought all my grandparents Badger apparel and their car is decked out with a few Badger window decals. My family is so happy that I'm here, so I can't bear to tell them how much I hate it. I feel like I'm stuck here for the next 4 years, and I feel like I'm getting depressed just being here. I don't know what to do.</p>

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<p>I will say this. As much as it might possibly be a let down for them, and I don’t know how much it would, college isn’t primarily about pleasing others. It’s about you getting an education that can make you better as a person and employee. I can understand feeling disappointment from transferring out from a school you’ve anticipated attending for so long. Would it be possible for you to return to this school? Especially if the nearby schools are community colleges, you can knock off many of the classes there and then transfer back to your dream school.</p>

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<p>Ill tell ya this much, coming from someone whos been depressed before my heart breaks for ya, thats not fun at all. But you need to look down inside yourself and remember that life is about going on, you will meet lots of people, be successful, have kids and a nice family. No matter how down you feel, never give up hope, for your parents for your boyfriend, and most importantly for yourself. Definately talk to someone in counseling, I know it has a stigma but trust me its fun! keep yourself busy, meet new friends, and here is a huge tip, college is about putting in EFFORT for friends, youre going to have to WORK to meet people at a big school. Put your grades and boy first, tell your family because they will love and respect you NO MATTER WHAT! Much love, feel better hun!</p>

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<p>I’m not sure if I could return after transferring out or not. One of the schools is another school in the UW system, one is a private college, and another is a technical school but I don’t think I would go there.</p>

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<p>I’m a junior in college, and I can tell you something from one of my events in the past. I was a mediocre student in High School and I was depressed at the end of senior year because my GPA and SAT scores weren’t as great as yours. I was never passionate about my studies back then, and even now, especially when my dream school used to be Boston College. Now that I am in college that is close to my home and I commute, I can not say how much I just want to get school over with. Wherever you go to college, studies will always be the same, and the quality of professors will be the same or similar overall. I didn’t care about my dream school anymore once I was a freshmen.</p>

<p>In my freshmen year of College, I majored in Accounting because my parents wanted me to so that it can get more unlimited job opportunities and high salary after I’m out of college. I’ve found out later in the time that this major was just not right me because whenever I come home, I always end up sleeping and or doing other things socially. Now that I’ve changed my major to something different, I am relieved from all that worries that I had.</p>

<p>Trust me, if you don’t like your current university, you are free to transfer out whenever you want to. Just go somewhere where you’ll be happier, find something you like doing, and then just graduate. There’s so much more ahead of life than just college.</p>

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<p>Transitioning from high school to college is pretty rough. You’ve been living with your parents for 18 years and all of a sudden you are all alone and no one to take care of you. Yeah maybe this college isn’t right for you but it seems like you haven’t invested in it. Go out and meet people! Your mistake was to get a single dorm room. Yeah privacy is great but eventually you’ll get sick of being alone and will get depressed. Go join some clubs and meet people. Go out with your boyfriend. </p>

<p>As someone mentioned above, life goes on. You’re not going to be able to live with your parents forever. You have to grow up and be independent. Hell, there are times where I wish I was a kid again and my parents are taking me to Disney land. Instead I’m faced with the reality I’m about to graduate soon and my parents are very close to retiring and aging fast. </p>

<p>Life moves on…you have to too.</p>

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<p>I know some kids that have really missed home and not really felt at ease at college, not a lot, but some. I’m always amazed by how many people actually finish college in four years because for me, it’s pretty hard to always go to class, study, miss home, and do it all over again. I guess what I’ve been doing is just trying to persevere to the the next break, or the end of the semester. My parents told me that for them, not finishing college was never an option–they were simply GOING to finish. And since you’re such a good student (I mean 3.96 is pretty darn impressive), you really should tell yourself that you are one of the few people that actually deserve to be in college and it would be a shame if you didn’t get to accomplish one of your dreams. And remember that you can change a lot of things in those 4 years–you can live off campus one year, study abroad junior year, get really excited about a certain subject somehow, or maybe even take a year or two of a break year in college just to refresh. Even though it may be downright miserable right now, maybe if you tell yourself that in the end it’s going to be all worth it, you can bear it and maybe even enjoy your 4 years.</p>

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<p>“And since you’re such a good student (I mean 3.96 is pretty darn impressive), you really should tell yourself that you are one of the few people that actually deserve to be in college and it would be a shame if you didn’t get to accomplish one of your dreams.”</p>

<p>Yes, but you have to understand that not many people enjoy studying in school or doing their homework when they get home. You can’t completely blame them if they never tried so hard to get into a good college. It’s the lack of motivation, not skills or intelligence.</p>

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<p>To the person that said my mistake is having a single dorm- believe me, if you knew me at all, you would not tell me this. I’m weird in that I have to be in my own space to study and get anything done, and I have to have it quiet or I can’t focus. I don’t party or anything, and I’m at a school that’s known for partying, so having my own dorm was a better choice for me. I don’t know how to explain everything for you to understand, but I knew having a roommate was not the best choice for me, and my family knew it too when I asked what my parents thought. No matter what, I 100% stand behind my decision to have a single dorm. I have joined a couple clubs, and have met many people. I just don’t feel like this school is the best fit for me anymore like I used to.</p>

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<p>I really agree with what the posters above said. For me, it’s really rough too. I’ve been wanting to transfer to schools closer by (that are like 20 minutes or 2 hours away instead of where I am now, 10 hours away), but I realize I have to at least finish a whole year before deciding. Yeah, if I do transfer it’ll also be a huge disappointment to my family, since we were really excited, and also if I transfer, it’s not like I’ll get the scholarships to the schools I turned down back, and there aren’t scholarships for transfer students, but…well…we’ll make it through this one step at a time.</p>

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<p>Okay it’s been your dream to attend this school for your whole life, right? Maybe you just didn’t have a realistic look as to what it was going to be like, and maybe you had an idea of it that was just different from what it actually is. Honestly, a lot of people don’t know what college is going to be like until they get there. Realizing that something you used to want isn’t what you want anymore is not a bad thing. If you transfer out of this school, it is not the end of the world! You are not failing, giving up on your dream, etc. You tried something that you THOUGHT you would love and you didn’t. So what? You’re not dropping out of college and never going back. You’re still going to achieve the ultimate goal if you stay at this school or transfer which is a degree, a good job, and ultimately a happy life. </p>

<p>You are not stuck anywhere! Please consider going to the counseling center as well. They deal with students in these kinds of situations A LOT. You are not the only one going through this! I also think maybe you should try to reach out and join some clubs, do some activities, etc. I’m also a freshman and really want to transfer home, but I’m going to try to stick it out for the full year. Stay for the second semester, figure out what you want to do, then do it. I am thinking about taking a leave of absence in the fall which is something you can consider. Your financial aid will remain in place and you’ll still be enrolled at the school but you just take a semester off. Consider that and if you want to go back after that, go, and if you don’t, don’t. </p>

<p>Give it just a little bit more time. Transferring isn’t failing and it’s certainly not giving up your dream! Life doesn’t always go as planned! Don’t beat yourself up.</p>