<p>Anything that one enjoys is healing, therapeutic, relaxing, mood elevating and shrink replacing activity. Just find what you personally like and do not listen to anybody else, they might enjoy something that you might hate. But trying is a good way to find out. So, try many new things to see which one is enjoyable for you.</p>
<p>For the past four years, I have been a Mentor Mom with a Christian group called Mothers Of Preschoolers (MOPS). We have two meetings a month and I give a mentor mom moment (5-10 minutes) once a month. I also go to other MOPS groups in the metro area and talk for 30-40 minutes as a featured speaker. In addition, I have served on the leadership team and help with leadership training and retreats. MOPS requires that all of the leaders (other than the mentor moms) be actual mothers of preschoolersā¦ at least one child below kindergarten. </p>
<p>Through these four years I have been able to re-visit and re-do some of my earliest parenting that drove me crazy at the time. Iāve been able to walk with women who are very stressed and listen to them. Iāve given good advice and bad advice. Itās led me to grad school where Iām working on Masterās in Marriage and Family Therapy (counseling).</p>
<p>If you are a Christian woman who is willing to be a listening ear and encourager, I know that MOPS groups are always looking for Mentor Moms. [MOPS</a> International - Mothers of Preschoolers](<a href=āhttp://www.mops.org%5DMOPSā>http://www.mops.org) has a search feature to find a group.</p>
<p>I too will be an empty nester this year. I have been a stay at home mom and donāt really have an interest nor a financial need to get a paying job so I have been checking out some great volunteer opportunities in our area. I have recently signed on to become a Guardian Ad Litem and will help kids in foster care have by being their advocate. Also, (big drum roll please), my oldest daughter (26) just told us they are expecting. So, perfectly timed. I get to be a grandmother just as the last one leaves the nest!!!</p>
<p>Hi, allā¦wow, when I started this thread I only thought there would be a few that felt the same that I did, and I havenāt been here in awhile and I am surprised to see how large this thread has grown! I know there are newbieās joining in as high school graduation gets closer, and I have GREAT news for all of you that are feeling what I did when I started this threadā¦you WILL survive the first year of your childās college life. Trust me, I didnāt think I would, but as with everything in lifeā¦you will adjust. Enjoy graduation and enjoy the process of helping them grow toward college. </p>
<p>As I wrote that last sentence, my husband calledā¦due to our own time constraints, he drove a truck to my sonās college this weekend to pick up most of his larger belongingsā¦(bicycle, tv, novels, file cabinet, and such) because next Friday is the last day of freshman year! Whewā¦once we adjusted the year DID fly byā¦ 
In the meantime, the hubby and I went on our first cruiseā¦and without realizing it scheduled it the week our son came home for spring break! 
He probably thinks we didnāt miss him at all. Now heās coming home for summer and I will love seeing him, but hope I can remind myself that itās all part of how itās supposed to be when he goes back to school next year!</p>
<p>To all that survived, the first year of emptynest with meā¦we did it!!</p>
<p>As I get close to my empty nest, I am looking forward to spontaneity. No longer having to be on a schedule for school and sport activities. I am always tucking ideas away for day trips. The sad thing is, as I look forward to discovering all these new places, the first thing I think of is how much I will wish son will be with me, experiencing these adventures. I am hoping to jam a lifetime of adventures into this coming summer.</p>
<p>The funny discovery for me was that I prefer to be at home, I thought I would be going places, but being in a car or other mean of trnasportation for more than 30-40 min. seems to be an obstacle, even if I am a passanger, just hate it. I must be getting very oldā¦ but my exercise routine is getting longer and more rigrous from year to year. I do not know what to think, but I really appreciate just being at home for at least few hours and at least to sleep in my own bed. We cancelled few very significant trips last year (two abroad) and even did not go on vacation. Just do not care any more. I guess, I am having too much fun with my daily routine (which I am).</p>
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<p>Montegut,
I understand completely. It seems that every time we make plans, I stop and think how much our DS would like this or that. We went on a cruise last month for our anniversary, and I was thinking that I wish he could have come (not very āromanticā I know), but I just knew that he would like the experience. Maybe when he graduatesā¦ :)</p>
<p>^Do not be sorry for kids. they have so many opportunities at college. D. went to New Zealand last spring, she always was dreaming about it ever since she saw āLord of the Ringsā. She actually visited the grounds where movie was filmed. It was trip organized at her school, they go every year. Her school even has a campus in Luxemburg, but she does not have time for it. Tons of opportunities they will be able to enjoy. Enjoy yours as well, do not feel so sorry for them, they like to be with their friends, meet new people, experience different places and culture.</p>
<p>Visited this topic with some friends who were empty nesters this year. They said they didnāt have much time to do fun stuff alone. No sooner were the kids off to college, they were home for Labor Day, then fall break, then Thanksgiving, then Christmas, then Mardi Gras, then Spring Break, then Easter, and now home again first week in May. And their kids go to school several states away!</p>
<p>Ugh! </p>
<p>I am hoping son does not come home unless they kick him out the dorm.</p>
<p>He threatens to bring home laundry when he can.</p>
<p>Please donāt!</p>
<p>I think I need to take a trip right away, before Labor Day!</p>
<p>And then I need to be mysteriously absent during Fall and Spring Break.</p>
<p>And others tell us, enjoy your empty nest while you can, because theyāll be on your couch in four years.</p>
<p>our kids only visit during winter & summer breaks(S only for 10 days this past summer) but it may be partly that weāre a 5-hour plane ride away. neither kid has a ticket home for this summer tho weāre taking a one-month family trip together. will see how things evolve. s has a job in va as soon as they complete his processing. we may go east & spend xmas with him. one of my nieces has returned home while sheās in grad school & working part-time. her sister got married, moved out & recently purchased a new house!</p>
<p>Mine hasnāt come home for the whole summer since she started college, but usually will pop in for a few days. If I want a whole week, I need to schedule a family trip to Hawaii. Sheās always up for that.</p>
<p>And no, she didnāt come home for spring break either. I did get her for Christmas.</p>
<p>Hello from the other side!!! DD graduated college two years ago, and now lives and works half way around the world. We skype about once a week and we will visit her this summer in her āforeign land.ā DS is going to be 21 and a rising college senior in a week or so. He lived in his college town last summer and will this summer - and yet, we are still very close with text messages and facebook and phone calls.<br>
I remember how I really felt the close of one phase of my life, when DD and then DS went off to college, and I really mourned that lifeā¦ but not now!!! </p>
<p>I have moved on, without losing any closeness with my kids. My husband moved his stuff into the kids bathroom so that we each have the luxury of our own bathrooms. DS room is now his meditation room, and DDās room is my music room. The downstairs study is now a fully functional guest bedroom. I have more adult social time, and spend way less time thinking about and buying groceries. The freedom! Hubby and I have flexibility to visit friends and go to events and chill out at home and travel - and we decided that we LIKE this life. So, mourn the passing of an era, but know that you can come out of it with a different, yet still wonderful life! :)</p>
<p>^ I always thought I would be like anxiousmom. Now, still trying to adjust to widowhood, I think I am really going to be depressed as my youngest goes to college next fall. Instead of the fun and freedom, I am really afraid that it will just emphasize how alone I really am. 
Any coping suggestions?</p>
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<p>Newconmom, hereās the thingā¦ you have no control over it whatsoever. I think itās very fair to calmly explain the consequences of not making whatever GPA you deem appropriate, but I would urge you not to be warning and lecturing about it. Hopefully he has learned something from his(or her) older siblingās mistakes, but there are no guarantees of that.</p>
<p>And I am saying that as one who wishes she could control it, but has figured out that she cannot.</p>
<p>lkf725, I am sure that you will have it harder! Itās not the same thing at all, but my husband was deployed to Iraq during S2ās freshman year, so I was suddenly all alone. I wasnāt going through grieving like you are, of course, and I did get to talk to H on Skype, which helped a lot. Nevertheless, I was āhome aloneā. </p>
<p>I got more involved at church and made it a point to ask various people (even some I didnāt know that well) to go to lunch or dinner with me. I called the kids on the phone quite a bit. They were very gracious about it, since they knew I was lonely with their dad gone. Perhaps your kids also would be understanding if they get more calls from mom than most of their friends get. I took trips to visit my parents a couple of times and once flew out to California for a week with my mom to visit S2 at his college. One of my friends (who is married) had suggested we go on a āgirlfriends cruiseā. We never arranged it, but it would have been fun.</p>
<p>Anyway you slice it, you are going to need to find yourself a social group. It could be through a church, a travel group, a political organization, a club of some kindā¦something. It will be work and may not be especially fun at first but I think it will be worth the investment of your time.</p>
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<p>LKF725 - Iām sorry for your loss. I agree with Timely that you need to find yourself a social group, or two. And it wouldnāt be a bad idea to start NOW, instead of waiting until the Fall. Square dancing, volunteering with an organization, joining a sport team (softball womenās league) or church group- something that involves doing and socializing, Ladiesā Night Outā¦ or a cause that you like, such as the Animal Shelter, or Green Peace, or Politics - get out and get involved, and that will help ease the transition to your new life. I can only imagine how hard it is for you, but I hope it gets better soon. :)</p>
<p>I guess it would be a good idea to find some new social groups and interests. Funny, but thatās the exact same advice we give the incoming freshmen! :)</p>
<p>My older s came through town this past weekend. Heād taken his bed to his current apt, so we moved a sofabed into his former bedroom, and my H uses it as a second office (my H needs 2 in-home offices, when he isnāt home much?? Well, thats another story).
But I digress. DS now stays in the guest room when he visits. He used to use the bathroom attached to his old room but now has migrated to the one attached tot he guest room. I had stacked up some things that he was taking back home to his apt. and placed them on the desk in the guest room where he was staying. When he asked where they were, I said āyour roomā, meaning the guest room, but he went looking in his former bedroom and came out looking puzzled and empty-handed. It was a weird momentā¦</p>
<p>Hmmmā¦if you remember my thread from around the holidays about how overnight company gives me a four day migraine, youāll know that I may never convert any of the kidsā rooms into a guest room!!!</p>
<p>Maybe you could adopt a kid (if you have the energy & time :p) volunteer at you kidsā old HS or get a pet? You could join clubs that interest you and are around you age groupā¦try to meet new people/friends :)</p>