<p>@Janig3, you HAVE been raising kids for a very long time. I have a separate forum going on my concern over continuing to care for our family dog by myself, and that has garnered 10 pages of comments and 4.8K views in the past few days. When I realize that I have been responsible for children for 30 years of my life, it is a utterly overwhelming. I still must work full time to help these last two through college and then, with all the economic considerations, retirement is not even in the cards for probably the rest of my life. (No hyperbole here.) I donāt think of this next stage as reinvention, per se, but as a recalibration. No spouse to deal with, which is both good and bad news, and while I do not fear the next iteration of my life, I do get anxious a bit. Therapy? </p>
<p>D made her cross-country trek from her college town to her new home in April, stopping with us for a couple of weeks. At that time, I asked her what I could do with her stuff, and she indicated what she wanted to keep (less than 10%) and gave me permission to get rid of the rest. I told her that weād store whatever she wanted to keep, within reason, until such time as she had the room for it.</p>
<p>During May, I gave away or threw away 30 or 40 bags/boxes of stuff. I did occasionally come across something that I thought she couldnāt possibly want to get rid of, and those few items I put in her dresser drawers, with pink post-its indicating she should review. </p>
<p>Last weekend, she was back in town for a funeral and I asked her to go over the pink post-it items, just to be sure. She took a few items back with her, and dumped most of the rest on the dresser with a big sign āThrow away/recycle.ā Then she put a few things back in the dresser drawers, writing on the pink post-its āGive awayā (an unopened origami kit, a couple of fancy pliers from her jewelry-making phase), āTry to sellā (an expensive TI calculator she got for HS math), and āKeep until I have storageā (some photos and letters). She asked me to keep all of the HS and college paperwork thatās ended up here. She gave me permission to toss all of her dance bags, but took back with her a nice carry-on bag we inherited from my dad. </p>
<p>So I have some more to do, but the room will soon be ready to either rearrange the furniture, or else claim it as my office. Havenāt decided which.</p>
<p>Kid #2 is back at home after freshman year. I want my empty nest back :). I donāt get to watch my favorite cnbc show, I now have to put up with the Kardashians or watching them. But one small positive, Kourney(or whoever) has a very cute son.</p>
<p>Me, too. Or at least, I am torn. D1 is back from a year abroad. Haha, watching lots of soccer, borrowing the car, forgetting to shut the refrig door. Love her. But. Sheāll eventually move in with friends and Iāll miss her terribly. (Yeah, even across town.)
We have to work on the ties that bind. But know they are evolving. </p>
<p>I envy anybody who find anything on TV entertaining. I used to think about news as the biggest soap opera ever, Not any more, repetition afrter another, 15 min, in a car is enough to learn everything, then TV is booooring, but a very good sleeping pill. Cancelled Netflix also, sooo outdated. UTube can provide some entertainment, we watch it on big TV screen. Good thing that I know another language, some interesting American documentary is NOT available in English, it is almost funny. Too hot to be outside lately, only swimming. </p>
<p>Empty Nest Syndrome:</p>
<p><a href=āSaturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - 2014-06-19ā>Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - 2014-06-19;
<p>:)) B-) :-j </p>
<p>^^funny.</p>
<p>ShawSon is back for the summer. Heās transitioned from his job as startup CEO and has succeeded in bringing in a much more experienced manager. Heās staying on part-time to learn from the new guy and will remain a part-time employee/strategy advisor to the company and board member when he heads off to get his MBA / MS in Data Science. While heās home, weāve gotten him to put dishes in the dishwasher and run the wash (when he was in HS, he had sleep apnea and was always exhausted). Lots of soccer has been on but he is a very considerate and helpful kid. ShawWife has been fine with the empty nest, but the fact that he is moving across country and not across the state seems to be affecting her.</p>
<p>I have been slowly purging Dās room over the last couple of months and have reached the point where Iām thinking about redecorating. Iāve decided on a color theme, and am going to check out the Penneys sale tomorrow. The same bedding has been in that room since she was a HS sophomore,. Changing it up is going to be a big step toward making it not-Dās room. </p>
<p>I just purged both Dās bedrooms and bathroom- bought a full frame (Target-looks alot like the ikea without the headboard) and transferred a mattress, got toppers and new comforters believe it or not from Ross Dress for Less. Also added toppers and comforters to the twins in the other bedrooms. They look great and ready for them or visitors. Redid the guest room with new mattress (Target) and topper and comforter. Here the RDFL has some really high quality overstock items. It does not help that I have very limited stores. Online shopping is definitely my friend however. After I finished the change I did see some options at Costco but the colors and price were not right. The rooms look great with very little āstuffā except for their closets which are neatly packed.</p>
<p>Ah, youāve been on the same track I am, rockymtn. Penneys didnāt have anything in the color scheme I want, so Iāll check out Ross. Thanks.</p>
<p>LasMa, so I am sooo glad I did the room makeovers! A few days ago Hās cousins from south called and we invited them to stay here as they were passing through - telling them we had plenty of room with double beds and private baths. Oh, it was really nice considering the low cost it was to transform the rooms. One cousin and his wife were absolutely thrilled how well they slept. </p>
<p>On Thursday we will have an empty nest. Yesterday I booked a trip to Taos, NM. I suspect I will have fits of depression and euphoria within the next month or so. I do plan to clean my kidās rooms. One doesnāt like that idea, so I wonāt get rid of his stuff, I will just make it neater. Other is fine with me getting rid of all but a minimal amount of stuff. I am also planning to get rid of junk around the house, and doing major cleaning, room by room.</p>
<p>1214mom I look around and am still amazed how great the rooms look. I did throw some things out in the rooms but mostly just stacked up things nicely in the closet, so when the visitor came I just shut the closet door and all was fine. I got so motivate this summer I ended up getting rid of alot and organizing most of our living spaces as well as the garage.
Good Luck - 1214mom. Have fun.</p>
<p>Weāve had an empty nest for three year. However, except for one semester, both kids went to college in our state. Our daughter is an accelerated 5 year bachelors/MSN program to become a nurse practitioner and goes to school and works in a hospital downtown (40 to 60 minutes drive) but stays at her apartment (she has summer classes). Our son went to school 1.5-2 hours away but would frequently stop home on weekends and summers. He graduated and worked for a year. Heās transitioned out of work and has been living with us this summer and will be moving to the West Coast for graduate school.</p>
<p>Two interesting observations:
- My wife wants to go out and set up his dorm room (he never wanted this in college but it is clear to our son and me that this is very important to her so we will do it).
- I love having my kids at home but am really enjoying the freedom.</p>
<p>@1214momā, our daughter is happy for us to repurpose the room (though she still has infinite amounts of stuff here. I donāt know that our son will ever be back on the East Coast. He loves where we live and is very comfortable, but he will be in the epicenter of the universe for what he wants to do.</p>
<p>Instead of renovating, Iām thinking of finding a lot or tear-down (more likely) to build a house where the first story is what we need to live (kitchen, bedroom, study, living room) and the second story is only used when kids or friends visit. We came close to making an offer on one place on a pond near where we live, but my wife turned out to be allergic to the pond.</p>
<p>Shaw! My idea is to find a tear down or in our city leaving up a % of walls. I want to build a triplex. One upper unit would be 2 bedrroms and H and I would live there until one of the kids needed it or we would not --would move to one of the other 1 bedrooms units. Really doubt that I will find this opportunity but my thought now.</p>
<p>@oregon101ā, ShawD proposed that we would help her buy a two-family and that weād live downstairs and she (and family) would live upstairs and that when we became old, she would take care of us. We said we would take her up on this. It is just a bit premature. </p>
<p>lol-that is precious that she is even considering that now.</p>
<p>Having a bit if a rough time right now. DD is leaving for college on the other coast the third week of August, and as excited as I am for her, I am dreading it. H and I have lots of plans and will have plenty to do, but not only did I home school DD from 6th-12th grades, I was also very involved in her sports career (especially when she was younger) and traveled to all her competitions with her. On top of that, she lived at home for 4 extra years while she trained for the Olympics. I am really going to miss her.</p>
<p>H and I have just returned from dropping our daughter (and only child) off at college. She is an older student, but we are a very close family, and it was hard for all three of us to say goodbye. Getting in the car and driving away after her last hug, may have been one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I know we will all be fine, but stillā¦</p>
<p>H and I were married 16 years before D was born, so, in a way, we are coming full circle. I told H I felt like he should carry me over the threshold when we got home last night.</p>
<p>@"Lady Lorna"ā, wow. Best of luck. Maybe it is time to repeat the honeymoon. </p>